And wondered why I feel something for it. I wondered if I really liked that kind of idyllic lifestyle, when often I don't feel enthused to do similar activities right now. Then I came to realize it's the setting that enables the lifestyle I want - being able to literally sit on a boat for a few hours with no consequences or responsibilities after. I might just be that tired on no-caffeine-days after having to return to work for 5 days a week and continuing to do most of the weekend chores and finally working on my final language of the 6 UN languages (العربية). Often I feel better after having ate - so maybe these are the beginnings of the dreaded sugar-ed up American diet. Speaking of which, I sometimes feel trapped by my situation - in some sense by who I've decided to love and where I've decided to make a living. But because I've decided I cannot be trapped. Anyway, the country is pretty fucked, always has been but more so now, and not directionally so too, it seems. Let's just eat and stop being hangry/hungemotional.
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