Life is unfair, but you can make it fairer

By embodying your principals and unfailingly advocating your morals, you can change not only yourself but the people around you, albeit slowly. You become infallible and respected.

With conviction, I hope that someday people will realize it.

About 15 minutes before this post...

My mother started stomping around the house looking for a camera charger which she specifically left neatly organized with other electronic equipment used on overseas trips. She didn't make an effort to show her displeasure at my elder brother who allegedly misplaced it.

To put you in context, she has a flight tomorrow (actually this morning) and she was doing some last minute packing (though not of her fault).

After a few minutes of frantic futile finding (woo hoo alliteration!), she woke my elder brother (who slept early for church tomorrow today) to voice her discontent. 

So have you ever been woken up from slumber, knowing you have to get up early the next day for something important? Me? Many times. By my mother.

I don't blame her though. People have different ways of taking out anger. 

She usually wakes me up because the internet is slow or she doesn't have a clue how to use safari. The way she talks to me makes it seem like its my fault for error 404.  She does calm down after I solve the problem though.

For my elder brother, he will start kicking or physically harm my innocent modem which will probably make it worse (though miraculously it does work at times). He will however, take the initiative to send the computer for repairs after repeated failures.

For me, I let out a curse word (in my head...sometimes), then try to calm myself down before solving the problem, by doing weights or reading the newspaper. I try to think rationally in situations like these. If its a hardware problem, I usually aggravate my condition as I usually hit something while trying to tighten wires, etc. I think I'm improving though =D

My brother was none too pleased disturbed from sleep. Of course, like any civilized, rational human being would do, he tries to let it go and feign sleep.

My mother was none too pleased with his apparent apathy at her 'crisis'. I strengthened my search to prevent tensions from heightening.

I found it thankfully, but I think I made it worse +_+. 

I told her life is unfair and not everyone's going to be a perfectionist like her.

"YOUR BROTHER LOR." Making no effort to lower her volume.

"EH SHIT LA YOU NEVER TELL ME RIGHT! FUCK YOU." My brother retorted angrily.

I wonder if its NS that thought him to swear that way.

Sensing this could be a Manila Hostage Crisis, I attempted to remain neutral, but err, sided my brother. Oops

"Hey look, I never meant it that way, I'm just saying, not everyone is going to be a bloody perfectionist, you can't always get you want cause life is unfair. Some people are going to screw you up, deal with it and move on!"

Before any of you try to talk some sense into me for lecturing my mother, I get it.

I get it that she has a stressful life maybe for her kids. I get it that people tend to get cranky at night. I understand how she feels, that its not your fault yet you have to bear the consequences of others' idiotic doings.

But I believe people can be better than that. I guess you just have to accept that life is unfair. Some people will lose hope at this point. I think we can make it fairer by being a better person. In the face of disaster, you don't just curse nature, you save your neighbours' children.

Why am I posting so late? I drank coffee to keep myself awake designing my younger brother's birthday party invitations. Turns out it wasn't that necessary because I finished a decent one in 15 minutes. Definitely not Marcus standard but considering my printer is running out of toner...

To put into context the theme, his name is Yi Keen and he is turning 9.

The cartoons were taken off the net, I acknowledge they are not mine. The background thing (for the front) is mine though. Really quick photoshop soft brush and custom ink splat using warm colors.

Inside

Front Cover (Right) Back Cover (Left)

Shoot.The.Moon

Rifdi-ish Three word post? Not quite

Once in a Blue Moon

Flurry

Sapphire Dragon

Light at the surface

Maroon Maze

To take a moon

Telescope?

Shoot The Moon

Windows 7 Hearts AI is freaking improved from XP

Some acknowledgement, please?

My father admits (after I brought it up) that my mother can be quite, err... a fucking bitch

Just the other day she scolded me and my younger brother wrongly, then did not apologize after I explained to her. She merely walked away. Did she forget? Does she have bad manners? Nope. I think its pure arrogance. Something I probably inherited (Darn!). She refuses to admit she's wrong, which my father agrees.

Am I just being angsty? Don't know. Perhaps when we were younger we were too afraid to voice out displeasures but now is different. I've mentioned in earlier posts about her erratic behaviour and result-oriented, task-efficient frenzy. I was partially saved from her wrath because I'm quite gifted in my studies...err OK that sounded really arrogant I know. However, my younger brother who isn't as good as me nor my brother is unlucky because not only must he live underneath our shadow, he has to endure my mother. Her screaming tugs my heart violently and I've protested before. I wonder how other families are like.

She gives me a lot of reedom as a result of good grades, but possibly also because she's always too busy to care. I admit I like it though. I don't know, since I was young I didn't really like my mother. She doesn't even have a good sense of humour. Definitely a DS personality. Why S? She hates change to some extent, if something doesn't go according to plan or if life takes a tumble she'll get really pissed. She has no problem displaying that. She thinks she's right all the time.

MANNNN I SOUND REALLY STEREOTYPE.

Though I ramble, I'm quite grateful still, because I know of worse off friends.

So how does this link to the title? Because besides not apologizing, she often ignores (because I doubt she's deaf) me when I elaborate on topics. I've grown used to it though. I guess I've lived so long under a cane I've emerged with a stronger character.

SHARKS I'M SUPER ARROGANT.

Woohoo learning from fellow bloggers.

Sorry for the long post... Anyway, my father thinks that if I don't like my mom's attitude I should give it to her straight. I told him I'd blog instead.. AHEM

So he decided to tell her himself.

Using MY RAD SKILLZ my knowledge of inferences...

My mother was obviously skirting away from the topic. Instead of being open to feedback, she mocked my statement as one of teenage angst in a superior tone. She goes on to say its quite typical of me to be like this, and brings in my elder brother, saying he probably had this attitude when he was a teenager too but just didn't have a blog. She laughs off my comments as spoilt rants. Later on she found me again and teases me further by sarcastically admitting her faults.

I know she has her good points though. She does frequently give out compliments (if it suits her) and some helpful advice. She's frugal but not thrifty, so it's save costs but if the benefits outweigh the price, go ahead and buy. She rewards for work and works for reward (e.g. buying a Wii for getting top in class O.o) On that note though, I don't ask for much, in fact I didn't want a freaking Wii, but she often insists and disregards my opinion subtly; by arguing against it until I decide to just give up rebutting.

But

My mother treats human beings as simple, governed by typical rules and stereotypes.
She enjoys laughing at her own children for 'confirming' this perception.
She never admits faul; she either justifies them or plainly believes that she is always right.
She gets things done by shouting at people. She cannot tolerate her children giving more than 50 cents to charity.
She mocks her children's environmental actions as naive and pathetic.
She attempts to listen to her children but forgets whatever they say after a while or ignore it if it doesn't interest her.
Louzy broadband connection? Call and shout at customer service. Extra $2 on cable bill? Call and shout at customer service. Slow or uneducated (in english) waiter? Never a patron for that restaraunt again, oh and a talk with the manager on the side.
Get an A for Art? Will it affect your final score? No? Then good job son but your other subjects are dreadful. *Snarls*
Make a single mistake after redoing a piece of homework once and you can expect a shouting match that will end in her winning or her leaving... or cane whipping.
I have a lovely mom.

The only thing I truly dislike about this song is the frantic shouting part. Other than that I think its OK.

Forum

In ancient Rome there was a park like place with benches on the side and a pedestal at one end. Marble columns, potted plants, archways lined this stepped platform. A platform for the exchange of ideas.

Liken it to the speaker's corner or the wet market, the forums have always been vibrant in liberal republics with freedom of speech.

Now, on the digital plane are vast quantities of threads and discussions on internet forums.

Did you know VS has a forum?

Yup, for ages it stood, populated by the bored and the enthusiastic alike. More than that, it was like a predecessor to my blog and other blogosphere. A large plethora of tag boxes all in one place.

- A small group of usually intelligent individuals well learnt in the topic of discussion
- A central theme to any thread
- Constant updating everyday, but unlike Instant Messaging, was at different times of the day; periodically.

Everyday I posted I was hopeful. Hopeful for a well crafted reply, hopeful that more people will come and join in, but not too many that it turns into a spam box of immature students.

Though it has been long since anyone posted, I ventured in again, and read. I read what used to be my 'blog'. The place I would check everyday and replied. It was well preserved, thank god.

I realized the people who posted there before have changed, for better or worse. It saddened me, it was looking back into a time of joy and new beginnings; now it is coming to stress and an end.

I posted again. In the empty 4D thread. A monument of past exploits it shall be, much like my misadventures with Tze Yang and HWPG, where a blog still stands which I will not delete. Embarrassing or not it does not matter, I am not afraid to show my past and will never be. It was a part of me and maybe still am.

Nostalgia.

When v=0

I spent 12 years of my life aiming to be a teacher, Mathematics to be precise, Science to be imprecise.

Then everything changed when the fire nation attacked I went through secondary one. After so long not stopping to think, I realized I don't have to be a teacher to be happy. I assumed being a teacher was my calling, but as a certain GOH said, 'Do what you love, or love what you do.' Combined with the rolling stone's 'You can't always get what you want,' and you can derive that, try to do what you love, your passion, but if you don't get what you want, try your best to love what your doing, no matter how mundane.

Its like after planning for so long, expecting and assuming, it all falls apart. That's when you start to reflect and think it over, and recover even. I guess its learning to be adaptable, flexible. Plan, but don't assume it will.

During Primary Five our school hired Dr Re Jabien (or something like that) to give us a lecture on studying, examinations, etc.

After years of contradictory advice, I'm once again stuck. I'll give you an example. He said 7 hours of sleep is the best option, because studies have shown 8 hours is when you enter deep sleep and dreaming which is difficult to awake from. Then Mdm Ow said 8 hours is just enough for exams, 'proven by scientists'. Mdm Kwok now says sleep less each day, possibly reaching four hours, then rest on the last day of the cycle.

I guess its up to us to choose.

Who we want to trust, whom we respect the most, who is credible, etc. I recently discovered that we place trust in many things and are unaware of it, maybe because we complacently exist in a safe and secure society like Singapore. In a way it was Combined Humanities that made me aware of it.

If you don't understand the title, it means turning point.

I had a dilemma this afternoon. Deciding if I should retake the Chinese Examinations. My mind was quite set on not retaking because 1. My Mother discourages me from doing so and since she usually advocates chinese and studying, she had enhanced reliability 2. My orals was Merit, I thought my paper 2 wouldn't be able to do much better than in May. 3. I can focus on my other subjects that are dropping in standard

Then Ms Ho talked to me and I decided to retake because 1. Merit for orals is not really that bad 2. HMT students would not be counted in the same bell curve and apparently 3. I had potential 4. My AEP was kind of done

Then I talked to Ms Tan and I decided not to retake once again because 1. HMT students WILL be counted in the same bell curve 2. My chinese 'career' isn't really over, I still take it in JC 3. Both my teachers (sec 1/2 & 4) agree it'll be too demanding of me 4. I wasn't prepared, err in general terms. 5. My AEP COURSEWORK was kind of done, but SOVA is still so far away, I wish you were here, in terms of grades I'm getting.

Back to being a Maths teacher, I kind of lost interest in Maths... with increased interest in Humanities. Turning point? Decisions... difficult.

Are you going to keep it strong?

Of Music and Magic

Music is very personal to me, and probably to everyone. Everyone's playlist is different.

Me? I'm a pretty conservative guy. I like a lot of oldies, bands like ABBA and the Beatles first got me interested because my mom likes the former and my dad the latter.

If you look at my playlist, I'm not sure if you can tell if I'm loyal to any artist haha.
In no order of merit.
Some of my favourites:

Linkin Park - For meaningful lyrics and alternative sound. Unique and unforgettable.
Breaking the Habit, Leave out all the rest, Faint, etc.

Green Day - For rock and poetry. The lead singer has a very nice controlled tone.
Boulevard of broken dreams, Holiday, 21 Guns, etc.

Kevin McMullan, Chris Rippy, Stephen Rippy - For their musuc in Ensemble Studios. I JUST REALLY FEEL IT. Lol. I don't know what to say. When I listen to their pieces, I just feel lost in them, I can listen to the music for hours without getting tired.
Behold the Great Science Fi, Of licious, The Ballad of Ace Lebaron, etc.

AHHH need to study BIO! OK I'll make it quick.
Avril Lavigne - For catchy and original sound

Coldplay - For versatility in instruments and deep lyrics.

Maroon 5 - For jazzy pop

U2 - For soulful singing and charity.

Others include: Whoever the damn made all those RS songs, Frank Klepacki, Muse, Electrico, etc.
I emphasize though, some songs are just phases.
Right now into:

Old favourite, gets me hyped up. Techno beat and reminds me of the fun C & C series


Heard my elder brother (who has 3 days worth of music) playing this, very catchy.


Hah! Don't tell me you haven't heard of this. Though the lyrics is very simple (about letting loose and dance!). Really got me cause it was the main song on Fifa 2004, so everytime my elder bro plays I can enjoy it.

Yes this (fan-made) music video was made in Singapore! Evidently, I used to subscribe to this guy on youtube, but he stopped making vids =(


I saw this on Zaki's blog. Though I'm sure his much more a fan of such ochestral music than me, I still love it. Beautiful, story-telling, emotional music does not need lyrics. The cartoon is equally heart-warming, and in just 12 minutes the animation and music moved me to near tears. Classic Disney. I wished they'd continue making cartoons like this.


Artists I fucking hate dislike include Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga.
Sad to say, maybe I had a bad impression of Justin Bieber because I first listened to him watching MTV and I couldn't tell his gender. Seriously. Do I think he is talented? I don't know. How old is he? Too young.

As for Lady Gaga, Paparazzi was nice and Poker face was OK to say the most, but she seemed to think singing in high keys (usually falsetto) was too clean and not freaky original enough. Then she just had to make that NOXIOUS and disgusting Bad Romance. The music video is ARGHHHHH. OK sorry I was trying to recall it to describe it but I blacked out and my brained stopped me from getting traumatised (again). Mainstream is getting from bad to worse.

Youth Olympics?

Many critics are blasting the Youth Olympics for being a louzy copy of the Olympic Games, and I partially agree. Where are the soccer teams from Europe? Not even Malaysia sent a team.
Though to give Singapore credit, this is the first YOG, and perhaps the idea hasn't really taken off yet.

Yesterday was Zimbabwe vs Singapore in the group stage.
After the Straits Times wrote an article on Zimbabwe's confident prediction 5-0 to them, it was quite apparent that the Straits Times MAY have gotten what they REALLY WANTED. Riled Singaporeans. At JB stadium, much of the school, despite being told to also support Zimbabwe, was clearly one sided (for Singapore) to me.

I appreciate that they have passion for Singapore though, and was quite happy to see I was clearly wrong in my earlier post 'National Sigh' ... to some extent. (Hey have to give myself credit OK!?)

You know? I liken the first half of the game to Shaolin Soccer. If you watched, remember the first game the Shaolin team played? Opponents jeering (5-0 confidence), then THEY kick-off (or was it us?), intercepted, pass pass & GOALLLL and spirited team embrace and goal celebration (ours), plus the opponent's goalkeeper didn't notice (Zimbabwe goalee stun).

Though we were supposed to cheer for our partner country (Zimbabwe), it was clear how biased we were lol. That sounds too negative, I'm saying its quite ironic we were meant to help Zimbabwe (who did not have many fans), in the end we made it worse by supporting Singapore lol.

Today's ST article on the event was also quite, I would say, 'edited'. See we actually went there to cheer for Zimbabwe and Singapore, and on a side note watch our VS player Jefferey Litefoot. However, the news seems to think we did it there to support Singapore ONLY because of our VS player! HMMMM, the editor wanted to get Singaporeans to rally and see that VS is patriotic, hence it is biased and I cannot trust this author!!! L5/7 !!!! YES YES YES... Err nvm

Jazz has a kind of swing to it that soothens my senses. Though this also has a bit of rock.
One of the best Outros (Opposite of intro) I've ever heard