Expensive

Sorry have not been posting :/ esp Italy and all that. It will have to wait cause I'm pretty busy. Anyway I wrote this on my iPhone while walking home from Funan searching for Camera stuff.

Those considering photography as a profression should major in banking rather then digital art. That's probably always been my utmost annoyance with photography. Sure its fun to snap here and there and take acceptable, above average photos, but when it comes down to it, its FUCKING EXPENSIVE. In case you think Daph90 and her kit lens is like some top-range only for pros camera, it most definitely is not. Its midrange (heh a bit anticlimax but its already 7 times cheaper than a Canon Eos 1D MkIII (btw there's a mark IV already). And that cool ass tripod that i have? Is actually cheap-plastic-already-broken-topples-off-in-strong-wind Nikon freebie. So what do landscape photographers use? Probably a $700 Gioza Carbon Fibre with a custom head from Really Right Stuff.

Short posts no need line breaks eh.

THIS ^ Video is funny.

Black Book

She read my poems as if a comic.
All those posts written in my little, nearly-filled black book.

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Christmas
It just turned Christmas in Italy. I just woke up both physically and spiritually. Hard to imagine how much I'm feeling right now. Tossing two coins in the Travi fountain.

I've never really felt comfortable alone. From being scared to lonesome, it hasn't made a difference then and now. When I was home alone I used to erase my insecurity with TV and games. Even now, sitting in a hotel room while my elder bro is mingling at the bar. This is what Jesus gives, and quite honestly, I haven't got to a point where He is truly Lord, felt in my life, controlling it. I will not lie in saying I have no doubts about Christianity but I stick to it anyway for my reasons. Perhaps over a cup of tea anyone? Anyway, they say ENFJs are like that. 'shouldn't be alone'

And since I'm on this topic I should come clean, and say I sometimes don't appreciate my guy friends enough. Its true. I'm shallow. Inside. (Having always to drag my feet towards the moral choice, which to some is actually OK, but in Christianity your attitude does matter more) Always worried I will become some stereotypical nerd (much in contrary to this blog title), perhaps a characteristic of having few friends of the fairer sex. But if I don't want others to harbor stereotypes, how can I? But perhaps a more vague part of this issue matters to me. As Counsellor Gary Koh said in his talk on stress. (Paraphrased) 'Not looking for a girlfriend or anything like that, its just nice lah' (to talk to girls, referring to guys in the audience).

And I do talk to girls about different things. Hollywood will have one think all they care about is shoe shopping, hunky guys and other superficial stuff. While not completely untrue, have we not also lamented the fact that usually, guys, and humans in general, are misunderstood? Taken for only one thing, assumed for another accordingly. And when someone doesn't quite turn out the way you thought, did we get hurt and pushed them away, or embraced them for who they are, after all the countless Disney movies we watch? (Do we realize the mistakes in our lives, reflect and try again?) Insecurity rife, paranoia in bloom. Think too much. Merry Christmas.

Will continue with another one next time.

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Conversation Earlier, [Present: Ben, HQ, Amanda, Yi Hui]
(Insults to Ben about how he's so obvious when he likes someone)
"But you give hints right?" Ben
"Yeah but subtly amirite? Like compliments, have to be right timing" Li Keen
"Don't you give me a lot of compliments?" HQ
"Aiya overdone luh yours, too many to be subtle" Li Keen
That's cause I like you luh duh! [In Head]
But in case you're reading I'm quite happy being friends, we obviously don't click that much and what a wasted friendship!
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Jazz Club friend's comments for this song "THE RIFF IS DAM JIZZ"

You know what he meant.

2011 Continued

Class Camp
Milestones, milestones... The birth of a divide and the beginning of its end.

CCAL Camp, Econs Trip
I think it was really important that I went for both, to really discover more about myself and about people I guess. I also made more friends yay :D

Christ
I'd love to write more about it, but it somehow seems incorrect, like what I write here will not be enough and shouldn't be grouped in with the rest of these insignificant stuff in comparison amirite?

CTs
Ouch, major disaster in my opinion. OK given the circumstances it was OK, but really I'm not in the Rafflesian league yet.

PW
PW is known for its ability to bring out the best and worst in people. Besides my group, it really tested my class's ability to stand united rather than against each other. In fact, there is no reason to compete except your inner primal instinct and pride. Let those who do better do better and be happy for them, let those who do worse learn and comfort them. Do your best no matter what, apologize when you didn't and move on.

Promos
Thoroughly enjoyed it. WHUT?? Yeah I liked studying with my friends and quite frankly I wish we'd do it more often than just near exams! *Singaporean mugger genes*

Prom Cup, GCEP trip, Italy, now.

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There are times when we're all alone
Times we don't pick up the phone
Time's we're weary
Why won't anyone hear me?

Therefore blog
#Ididn'tknowhowtofinishthispoem

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The internet helps us put things into perspective sometimes. Makes us take a step back, look at our own silly, irrational feelings. Laugh at our shared grievances, and waste time of course.

New Year

The coming of the new year compels me to write something, as I close in to Milan on a Mercedez Bus

What is the new year? Winter does not stop at the stroke of midnight. There is no celestial marker in the Milky Way that the Earth's center crosses. "So teach us to number our days... so that we may be fruitful". And yet, we feel something. A sense of closure, maybe a new beginning. We inevitably just look back. On New Year's, on our Birthday's, maybe other New Year's from different calenders. How is it that our conscience is able to comprehend time? Is there something outside of time? (Let's not go there)

So look back I will.

New Year's 2011

A year of change, I could sense it. Leaving VS was not difficult, (technically you just walk out the gate), but it was undeniably sad and maybe a little bit scary. But I guess the thought, the resolve that I will always come back, and that yeah, I didn't really leave (I'm even wearing the 135 wristband right now) gave me comfort and courage. Heh, just a few months ago was the O levels eh. A few on and off outings with the avant garde of Ngee Ann Primary 06' and before I knew it I was handing over my appeal form with Amirul to the General Office, One Raffles Institution Lane. I did not know if I would be seeing the bust of our founder again. And one more thing that would inevitably affect me. Humanities vs Science.

Into Orientation

Fast Forward into Del' Chanto and I was pumped up and ready to meet people. I didn't know it, but at the time I was still trying to figure out if I was an introvert or extrovert. And I can't really say for sure. A lot of it is in the mind. But I was painfully aware my energy always saps away somehow.

Class

Just a few days later and I met my class. Surprise surprise Jia Lok, Joshua, Collin. That feeling that I wouldn't leave VS. Perhaps I didn't realize it at the time, but first impressions matter. Quite a bit. I guess right from day one, the things that were going to happen in the class already brewed, the good and bad froths. 

Crushes

'Nuff said

Council, Choir, Photog

Looking back, I have to admit I wasn't ready for council, and perhaps choir too. And maybe, it was all part of His plan to bring me closer. I think it really is true that we only realize his presence during dark times. I tell you a secret, that was the first time I prayed to the Lord, outside the Darkroom, waiting for the then exco's decision. And it happened to be the first time my prayer was answered. A bit much. It dawned on me how vulnerable this site is too.

Ms Chiang leaves

Another milestone of the year. Perhaps to some this doesn't seem noteworthy but I think it is. The loss of a CT does not bode very well for a shaky class spirit. I stand by my thinking still, that teachers are very important in class bonding. For if not the teacher, who shall be the objective facilitator? And more oft than not the CT is the only one in position over other teachers.

Will continue soon heh.

Across the World in 17 hours

Changi to Dubai to Hamburg.
Our journey started in Changi Airport where a mass of councillors were sending off the many Councillors on our trip as well as filming for something which I think I'm not allowed to betray yet.
Finally got to know my group and we ventured around the departure hall as any group would. Found out my group had 3 people in the same class so me and Chan Qy were a bit extra. Then again, looking at the number of HP and Council participants, we were a minority anyway.

When we were on the plane Flo (or was it YuQing) took me black notebook (my birthday gift from 12S06E) and read it, her conclusion being that I was a very sad person. Naise. Me, Martha and Theo decided to watch Tree of Life (Cannes Film Festival Winner) at the same time. And omg its really really siao. The show really throws you into the deep end of sensory and existentialism. I don't want to go into the details of the show, rather I will talk about the reactions. Mostly Theo falling asleep halfway, and me and Martha glancing each other time to time just to express our exasperation at the show. It was like whuuttttt. I sort of got the point but it felt like 5 hours rather than 1 hour and a half. Maybe should have tried Contagion instead hmm.

I was trying my best to adapt to German time by then so at one point while everyone was sleeping I decided to try a poem. Meh later.

At Dubai our group was one of the groups that managed to stay together (probably the last time though xD) We followed Naishad who preached free food at the food court but was utterly devastated to find it under renovation. So we went to Macs instead (surprise surprise)

That was the view at Macs (its a HDR image)

Other than that Dubai was pretty uneventful. Finally sat of the plane to Germany.

Upon touch down we met our tour leader Elaine, an ex-Rafflesian who took last year's GCEP group as well as various other RJC groups like the Raffles Middle East Program.









They were shocked, a little mocking that I wore thermal but woe to them when they stepped out of the airport and realized it was freaking cold. Never mind that, here's the view of the airport!

Also a HDR (Morning Rises and Dawn Sets are really difficult to take without bracketing OK?) Visited the RutHaus, the office building (with gothic architecture) of the local Town Council. But meh I'm not the story telling type, more the blog for thoughts and feelings type.

The christmas spirit sunk in a little more with the huge christmas market just outside the ruthaus where I had a go at the local Wurst (sausages), which btw.... IS AWESOME. At night we visited the ongoing re vitalization of an old port in Hamburg which alluded a little to the Marina Bay area. The main difference was civic engagement in Germany which was at epic proportions with Architecture Competitions (winner gets his design built which can amount to Billions) and private developers given tours of the area to help build up this new portion. Sounds awesome right? Trouble is, Marina Bay took 3 years and how long will these plans take? A whopping 20 years. Bitch.

Hotel was awesome and we somehow landed the largest room. Wooo Blumz and me roomies awesomeeee.

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Airplane Mode
Read, watch, glimpse, listen
Above the clouds faces glisten
Made of steel and Aluminum
Filled with thoughts and feelings
More than a million

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Checking back on my book, I realized I wrote something about prom cup that I didn't post. To hell with it. One noteworthy thing though, my elder brother was a debator. (But not me)

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Behind on:
Blog Posts
Homework
Photo Editing and Uploading
Card Writing
Packing for next trip
Planning for next year events

So I decided to play Civilization. Genius.

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ARGH I WANT TO POST THE WHOLE MYLO XYLOTO ALBUM HERE ITS SO DAM BOOMZ AHHHHH.
And the fact that some songs continue from the last in terms of pitch and transition DAMIT. HOW TO POST?
So instead. I will self-troll and post something not from that album because any less than the whole album is a crime. (Which I have already committed with two songs from the album I posted last time)
Oh Noezz I'm a fanboyyy

Prom Cup

AHA. Fooled ya. No post about Germany yet. This happened directly before the trip... so didn't have time to post.

This is related to the trip though, because many debators were on the trip as well. (Prom Cup is an International Debating Competition organized by my school) And was the topic of one of our dinner conversations! (Which became quite heated) I should disclaimer that I post because I feel strongly about topics (usually), and it is a disgrace but I am no stranger to being judge-mental, one should read with a pinch of salt at my so called 'observations'.

As TED talks speaker Chimamanda Adichie put it, there is always a danger of having a 'single story'. An impression of something based on just a few stories that corroborate. Perhaps instead of pushing aside evidence that does not coincide as being inconsistent, we need to hunger for it to make a wholesome impression. I think that Raffles Debate is one of those CCAs one has to experience to get one side of Raffles to make the picture, just a little bit more complete.

Wow I sure as hell thought I had an awful lot more to say (OH NO IM BECOMING RIFDI), but it seems I've exhausted this thought pattern to that particular conversation in Germany. Well suffice to say that the debators are exceptionally brilliant, ambitious, and convicted, and sometimes the trouble lies in overdoing any of them, or not drawing the line between debates and routine conversations. I remember one of them saying he was 'an arrogant, elitist, bastard' and he doesn't care about it. Pity that I think, that really he does, but he's too scared to say it. A lot going in my head right now.

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Sometimes we scoff at, we sneer at, we judge people who laugh, make a joke, maybe giggle, or shout and talk loudly during a solemn event, maybe a funeral, maybe at a war memorial site. Maybe its just their way of coping, maybe the dead want the living to be happy and laugh, maybe the passed would have laughed too.

Is being happy after a depressing or traumatic event being strong or being pretentious?

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There is a very curious impression I make on people. The top 3 misconceptions being
1. I'm from RI Sec
2. I'm from the Humanities Program
3. I'm in council/chorale

Is that good or bad?

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Read this on my friend's tumblr

"I could have kissed you

under cherry blossoms,

pale petals drifting down

like the trees wanted to

pretend they could be

snowclouds.

I could have kissed you

in the rain, drenched to

our bones and not even

caring that the skies

opened up above us

and tried to wash us out.

I could have kissed you

in a clearing in the most 

secluded woods, with

just the sound of wind

rustling through the leaves

and a few voyeuristic

finches peeping at us.

Instead, I kissed you

in a parking lot of a

Waffles House, just shy

of 2 a.m in the middle

of a hectic week, with

our waitress grinning

at us from the other

side of the window.

because honestly,

how could I not?"

~Location, Location, Location

So much to say, no time to play, give me a few days

I'm back from Deutschland