Sunday, 17 January 2016


Perennial questions you don't have to ask in the army.

What if you're friends with someone, you kind of like her but rationally it probably isn't going to happen(?) //although the rational reasons are sometimes a little jarring, confirmation bias for your shyness.

I just used slashes to comment because I'm a C++ coder hah.

Ok. Back to that. Sure, you're a rational person. And case in point, you KNOW the romantic movies are just fucking Hollywood. And then you see someone else go for that person; worse, it's also a good friend. //this happens a lot in Hollywood/TV doesn't it!

Let's make the points even more tragic; what if the reasons she might not like you are race or body image? Ooh. Stings. The idealist might protest: if that's her reason for liking someone that's not someone you really want right? But the world doesn't work like that, physical attractiveness plays a part and you've been handed the short hand of the gene pool mon amis.

And so I guess what I'm saying is, in this little time left to blog a little, this sucks. Sometimes you ain't sure if these 18 YOs have it better figured out y'know. Being a foreigner is a big rational stopper too tbh.

Saturday, 9 January 2016

Change is the Only Constant

I dropped my bid at the frat so now I'm part of Lambda Chi Alpha!

Course, I wasn't 100% on this. No lies, I'm an honest dude. But then, to quote Hilary Benn, when have there ever been, perfect circumstances? The fact is, change or decay (as Morty says). Learn to live with people you don't necessarily clique with. Better, learn to love them as your brothers and sisters, your fellow human beings for who they are.

Butttt fuckkkk
I totally missed two homework deadlines and the drinking tonight because I am a horrible person.
Nonetheless I carry on, with crippled grades. This winter's going to be harder for sure. But I'll keep my promises, 1 cup of coffee at a time.

Tuesday, 5 January 2016

Were you rushing or dragging?

I had absolutely zero time to think about this during winter break tbh.

Let's lay it down. Proper. Though I'm late.

Strongest reasons to rush:
The AMERICAN Experience
Cheap(?) housing (this can easily be circumvented tbh; look, progress already)
Friends :'( - basically meeting a whole bunch of people and not rotting in sophomore year
~Sidetrack: Am I really that greedy? I have an awesome group of friends that stay in ISRC...but what will happen in year 2? Even year 3? IF ONLY I was talented; dang for shame man. And Jesus dude you have so many guy friends already.
Pride - admittedly. Wanted to show I'm not a close-minded guy I guess? But I suppose it's for the wrong reasons.

Strongest reasons to stay away:
Do I really subscribe to some archaic notion of gender separation? (I mean, I went to VS?)
~Sidetrack: is it too idealistic to believe the differences between genders are too tenuous, too insignificant to warrant such a division?
The icky icky behaviour exemplified even by my seniors in Lambda Chi - is it being honest with yourself? Or sexist? Of course, there's always physical attraction, should we pretend/deny it? On the other hand... there's just something disgusting about 'checking out chicks'. The 'nature' logical fallacy. If something is natural, does it make it right? Is this one of the cases? Hasn't the era of social prohibition shown to be an utter failure?

And goddam Kaplan papers due so fast.

This decision might have been sealed had their frat house contain a drumset.

#86 Air-drumming and headbanging
Aw yissss. I just love the release from drumming, but I'm going to dedicate this number just to air-drumming, because I obviously do it a lot more and I can do it anytime I want. When I need to hype out, scream on the inside, and generally give menacing glares to anyone I see while getting my fix of angry music.