Friday, 30 April 2010

Excerpts from my mobile blog

I'm writing in my diary now because I don't have time to blog much. I've been reflecting and thinking a lot again ever since Rhapsody <----awesome. Don't know why, maybe because when I reflect on choir, I also reflect on half of my secondary school life isn't it? Maybe even more.

So now I've started writing in my untouched school journal. Here are some excerpts.

20/4 : Today I'm starting what madam Ow told us to do. To write down lines in our head we think are awesome. Finally I have a use for the school journal =) (Describing a crystal) It was crystal clear, hard to the touch, soft on the eyes.

22/4: 'Integrity will get you no marks but will get you further in life' - Mr Wong, my chemistry teacher. There is something about teachers, that just makes me smile.

23/4: Argh, lost my to do list... Fail.

26/4: Today I awoke like yesterday was a dream. It was sobering as I remembered I had SPA2 and English Oral today. I hadn't finished any homework and am going to start Night Study Program (NSP) today. It feels oddly like a game campaign. Where this 'semi-powerful' enemy appears from the blue while you are fighting the main one. So you join forces with your old enemy or concentrate on fighting it first. Then after you finish the mission killing this enemy. You get this partly nostalgic, partly driven, partly accomplished feeling; Your done here, but it isn't over. Rhapsody was a success, time for the O levels.

28/4: I sat at the 4C table today. Colin was really nice. But then he left. Who was to take his place? Euy Gnos. I don't know why, I just hate him. Is there something wrong with me? I mean, people whom I know are decent seem to like him, and he is a wise cracker. He hasn't done anything unpleasant to me. So why? Am I wrong to breed hatred to people whom just aren't like me? Who have different ways of living? Came to AEP with everyone lazing around playing rock music. Its times like this when I want to quit AEP... I thought Jia Lok coming to sit next to me will make me less lonely. Instead, it has made me more lonely than ever. I'm so selfish, I should let Jia Lok talk to my other friends while I do my own work, for them. Don't know why, I'm just so emo today.

29/4: Looked through my photos today. I realized there is a stark difference between my holiday photos and work portfolio. And it has dawned on me just how limited AEP really is. Is art really freedom of expression? On holiday, where I have no subject matter, and I have all the time in the world, my shots become interesting and less confined to conventions and technicalities.

30/4: I don't know what to do. Everday I see people around me flaring up. Teachers picking on students. Students protesting back by showing apathy in class. There is mutual dislike, I can see it in their eyes, no matter what Marcus says. He is such a good friend, I should take some of his advice a bit more. I just... I just feel it is up to them to decide whether they are above hatred and see good in people they dislike, U.S-Sino? They should have inter-faith dialogue haha... Still, what are their objectives? Why remain defiant and anger the teachers even more? Why scold the students indifferently and anger THEM even more? Is it unjustified to act in sacrifice of the other if the other doesn't give a damn? Is it wrong to try and keep trying to find a connection you see impossible? I choose the moral route, not the logical one. Even though common sense knows nothing will change, but I still want to try, in hope that someday, some of my words will affect them positively. I know how Marcus feels. Is it wrong of me to try and preach to people. Well if you put it that way... should I stop interfering with other people's affairs even if I mean good? No one is absolute truth, I need to understand that too.

'Because we are short of time, sharing is caring.' - Ms Ho Don't really see how that makes sense but it was funny the was she said it. I feel that HODs and SHs have this higher level of teaching, this added awareness, this heightened knowledge even outside their area of expertise. I really respect this kind of openness and professionalism.

Playing with color temperature

Friday, 9 April 2010

It's complicated part 2

There is always a line. Its this line that prevents me from conformity. Its this line that makes all the difference.

I never want to cross it, I'm not afraid, its me. People often say you can't blame them for being lazy, because its an innate thing. I'm not agreeing to the lazy part. I'm agreeing to the innate thing. Who knows if I'm right or wrong?

I want to be a good student. I want to listen to the teacher. I want to sit in front of the class. I want to learn, to explore, to teach. I want to tell jokes. I want to make people laugh. I want to make friends. I want to learn history. I want to share with the world what I know, to teach them to appreciate things they never do. I want people to listen when I talk about current affairs. I want them to show polite interest, to converse with me about the events of today. I want to play runescape. I want to listen to game music. I want to be patriotic.

Unfortunately, a lot of people don't want me to be like that. They want me to listen to punk & metal. To pon classes and CCA. To go to parkway for no reason and be unproductive. They want me to procrastinate. They want me to be like them. They want me to talk about how teachers suck, how schools suck, how the system is screwed up. They want me to be defiant. They want me to tuck out my shirt. They want me to get a skull design bag. They want me to shout vulgarities. They want me not to care about my homework. They want me to play mousehunt for 12 hours straight. They want me to be pervetic. They want me to play left for dead.

I say neigh. If I have to compromise so much for the sake of admiration, for the sake of popularity. I say neigh.

I am blessed with friends that made me realize that. I am blessed with teachers who care, who point me in the right direction. I am blessed to be in Singapore and not fighting a meaningless civil war in Ethiopia. I am blessed to live in the garden city in a beautiful home. I am blessed with this blog and especially the readers who put in that extra effort to make me feel cared, noticed, like I mean something to them in their lives. That our friendship is important. Its the most wonderful thing in the world.

Thanks X for showing me this =) The first part is very disturbing. But pull through it.

Wednesday, 7 April 2010

It's complicated part 1?

No I'm not talking about my dating life (How could you even excuse me of that!!), its my personality.

I can really be a hippocrite you know? I say I love casual games like plants vs zombies but hate it when people play games on their phone or iphone. I play halo and fifa all the time with my friends but say I hate science fi and prefer historical games like Age of Mythology.

Its hard to keep my words and promises sometimes, but I do try. Which is what I advocate all the time!

Effort and optimism.

In this 'cruel' world we live in, you see many stories of teens abusing drugs, movies GLAMOURIZING them, you see terrorists killing innocents, you see China and the USA squabbling "oh you son of a mother duck your meeting the Dalai Lama!" and US pilots gunning down innocent journalists in Afghanistan as if they were playing  a video game. There's a ton of reasons to be cynical and pessimistic.

But they do try.

Even after all the fights they had over the year, China and the USA still try their best to strengthen ties for a common goal, peace, progress & prosperity. The greatest people on earth are those that work towards something greater than themselves. Those that put aside selfish goals and individualistic thoughts for the betterment of others. I really applaud China and the USA for their initiative, which is much like during the cold war when the USA and USSR displayed such good brinksmanship because they knew a nuclear war meant mutually assured destruction.

Even though the world can be so harsh, it doesn't give us an excuse to give up. It gives us a challenge to overcome. Even though I don't like to hang out with Paikias & Pampered People (yay I used Alliteration), I still try my best to be their friend, to stay nice, in hopes that I can slowly get to them and maybe just maybe they realize their seriously addicted to mousehunt and should seek professional help.

But I do draw the                somewhere. That's where the next part comes in.


Friday, 2 April 2010

Finally, a break.

It seems like my homework pile is finally declining! But that's probably because coursework hasn't really kicked in yet and chinese didn't have much homework...plus we got a lot of tests now... Ok I take it back.

So I'm posting about last friday and saturday cause I didn't yet and it was pretty special, will try and make it short.

After I was dismissed from school, did Bio homework with Jun Yew (I'm so blessed that Alif and Hendrik don't come to this blog if not there will start making crude references). Then, in an attempt to adopt the principle of 饮水思源, I went back to Ngee Ann for their carnival for an unplanned 3 HOURS. WOW. Mostly playing five stones haha. Worth it, its all about giving back to the school that groomed me, for better or for worse, into who I am now. I don't get why some of my other classmates don't see that. Can't blame them, I mean some people outgrow these things, but I think no matter what they see, inevitably it has affectedly their lives significantly too. You know my teacher once asked us if we believed that everyone is born with a good character or bad character. I say neither, its the way your raised. Donated $10 to their fund raising =) P.S I got very close to SM Goh =P

I think the most significant thing that happened on Saturday was Earth Hour.
So one fine day in the media lab Tze Yang and Daniel were watching some light painting video on youtube. Its about using your camera and flashlight as a medium. The trick is to use a camera where you can control the shutter speed like a DSLR. You make the shutter speed very long (I used 16 seconds I think), then in a very dark place, you use a torchlight and 'paint' in mid-air. Of course, I think I'm super noob and utterly failed some of my paintings. (I can't even do normal painting!!) =X
Tried to write my name. Fail.: )Tried to write earth. FailTried to draw a house. Fail.Lightbulb one. Fail.1 + 1 = 2. Fail.Lightbulb 2. Fail.Lightbulb 3. Fail.