Sunday, 22 April 2012


How I'm feeling now... if I could change a few words.
Oh Lord I can't get through.
I've been trying hard to reach you cause I don't know what to do
Oh Lord I can't believe you're true.
I'm so scared about the future and I wanna talk to you.
I attempted a week of an atheist mindset again and I was happy...

Monday, 16 April 2012


I had a very odd urge to write something on my blog (I think its guilt) and I started typing something out. Didn't know what it was till it became what it was. 30 second poetry

In a forest somewhere
There lay a few golden leaves
And looking up there were more.
Floating, streaming and swaying down, they rests upon your palms
And you walked on, bathed in the glow of the sun, trudging through
Soft swooshes and silent swishes

Birds chirp in odd harmony,
how did they learn the melody of serene?
Trudging through somewhere, in a coniferous scene.

This should help

 Really awesome bloggers visited my exhibit when my classmates didn't, thought they were in my pictures. (Granted I know some of them would have if they could)

Tuesday, 10 April 2012


Finally a term to describe me. After establishing my belief in my extroversion and succumbing unknowingly to social convention that charisma, energy, action, American-ish traits are better then solitude and contemplation, my introvert self has been left woefully neglected. As it should be shouldn't it? And its so sad that when we just want to be ourselves its because we're emotional or not in a good mood. What's that supposed to mean? Too long have we understood homo sapiens as social beings, a result of group selection, that we respond negatively to quiet, deep thought by one's self.

Perhaps the supposed anger and insecure that emanates from introverts manifests from the social perception that such behavior is 'anti-social'. This, in fact, instead of improving their sociability, grossly undermines their confidence and self-worth, a detriment to their creativity and productivity. A sure trait of the introverted intellectual.

I should try to stop talking in sophisticated fashion.

I really could feel the sincerity in this talk.

Saturday, 7 April 2012

Influence of Independents

Nothing political here.

Lately my thinking has been shaped by atheists who shall not be named. It has definitely made my thinking much more independent. I cannot tell if that's a good thing.

Fundamentally, I believe in universal truths plus rational morality. I dislike the sort of modern thinking of 'to each his own'. You mean its OK for someone else to do this but not the other guy? Why is that so? How can that be so? If there is any logic in your behaviour then rationally speaking it should apply to someone else? Granted this person was apparently 'brought up differently'. Yes our behaviour should change in different environments but no it should not be different between people in the same situation, because only of them can be logically coherent.

Of course, it has made me a self-intuitive, self-righteous bastard. Indeed, my friends are scarce. Well screw it. Do not call someone arrogant if you cannot get your thinking straight and he has, albeit with pride. Humility is good because it leaves one available to a change in thinking and is socially acceptable and easier to convince others of your lifestyle given a more amiable front. If he has constantly questioned his own beliefs and way of life and has justification for his character why do you condemn his conviction in it?

Perhaps my natural way of speaking has always been to sound like a snobbish high-philosophy prick.

Jeremy told me something that was obvious but didn't occur to me yesterday 'not everyone thinks like you'. Well if you want the ultra-elitist response its because everyone else are clearly not as smart. If you want the diplomatic response I have clearly wronged and I should not object to other people's way of living nor impose my own at all. Of course, this has always been quoted by the hedonists, liberals and hippies. Whom ironically impose this way of thinking on others. Indeed, freedom for all remains elusive because clearly freedom of an individual will surely clash with another. Hence the need for a higher authority dictating the ground rules. In this respect, has the Holy See or the secular government done better?

Damn it, became political in the end.


Thursday, 5 April 2012

1 year of belief on

It is symbolic that after 1 year being a Christian, I am faced with overwhelming problems with the faith. I say overwhelming not out of exaggeration and I'd like to elaborate but gosh the TV behind me is really distracting. So till next time for now.