Friday, 30 September 2011

Listen | Life beside the highway

Always like to set the context in a meaningful way.
Because I don't like the embedded quality, might as well give you the link to this TED video!


Talking in Manna Café for hours was a much welcomed respite :) Thanks Jia Lok, Yams, Clare
And thankk youuu Friday!


I reached home with that awkward feeling of wanting to do something but not school work. Hence I went for a run at ECP, and spontaneously decided to explore that new area beyond this bridge.
(All picture with iPhone, wasn't mental enough to carry a DSLR. All unedited, too lazy and got Chem to study)
Very soon after jogging for another 5 minutes or so, I was all alone. An actual quiet place in Singapore!
The place is quite beautiful and romantic! :D (I'm hopeless)
Soon I stopped jogging. (My stamina sucks) And started walking on aimlessly... enjoying the sunset
Always admired the fact that Singapore's government found it necessary to conserve nature even during the 60s to 80s. This tree will grow really tall in the future! :D
Very soon though I reached the end of the road.
And then it hit me. Oh snap I just walked an extra 2 miles and now I have to run all the way back.
(Pardon the finger blur, noob iPhone photographer)
And then I also realized. The sun's about the set and I'm all alone and really far away from anyone. OMG ITS SO FREAKING DARK AND SCARY MANLY
Can't help but think this is the beginnings of some horror film. I'M GOING TO SCREAM LIKE A LITTLE GIRL I was so manly I just didn't care.
The UTTER FEAR manliness kind of helped because I ran faster. Hahaha

Also, this very creepy patch of grass making unearthly noises that totally freaked me out (and yet I filmed it) Haha k it wasn't that bad luh just random thoughts in my head. And blogger never ever finishes uploading its video function sucks.

As I jogged back towards civilization I realize the further you travel, the sparser and lonelier the people. 
Also, while I was thoroughly enjoying the peace and quiet of the area this insect came up my leg and bit me. Then I realized, in Singapore when you try to enjoy peace and quiet, something is just going to bite you near the ass and bring you back.

That was the journey along the road beside the highway (ECP).
And I wish you were there.


We will never know until we try~


How do you achieve the right balance?


I unconsciously disregard my own policies sometimes. Drown it out in music.


The low after the high. Feel ya Rifdi.


With birds I share this lonely view

Thursday, 29 September 2011

Quotes - Who says I can't reblog

Wei Chung's
Don't trust too much. Don't love too much. Don't hope too much, because that too much can hurt so much.

Ironically, also from Wei Chung's blog
You're the one that I stay up all night thinking about, coming up with cute things that I wish could happen.

Clare's (Re-blogged from someone else)
Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.

In the world of dreams I'm a frequent flier.

Time lost is time when we have not lived a full human life, time unenriched by experience, creative endeavor, enjoyment, and suffering. -Dietrich Bonhoeffer

"When smeone is crying, of course, the noble thing to do is to comfort them. But if someone is trying to hide their tears, it may also be noble to pretend you do not notice them." Lemony Snicket

Hidhir's FB
Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward. ~Robert C Gallagher

What has not been re-blogged is not a signal for anguish but symbol of cherished differentiation. Or lack of time.

I have yet to discern
How you're so damn stubborn.
Oh would you please unlearn
Your pretentious concern?

The bullshit that you churn
Common sense that you spurn
Its not a new pattern
I'm out of cheeks to turn.

I'm not yours to govern
Not from my stem to stern
On whatever I learn
Or what I could then earn,

With a fist of iron
Composure's on' downturn.
Well you've a keep to earn
And I've bridges to burn

So please don't you return
In a future I yearn

Bless all you peeps! I shall share two I've found :)
Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch it to be sure. ~Murphy's Law

From Infopack.
You taught me to be nice, so nice that now I am so full of niceness, I have no sense of right and wrong, no outrage, no passion. ~Garrison Keillor. 
(This seems anti-empiricist/counter-John Locke? KI correct me if I'm wrong [Also, funny how your name is KI and I'm asking you to help with philosophy])

KI's (picture comes last for formatting convenience)


From my studying playlist

Wednesday, 28 September 2011


Fossilized ancient tree resin.
Crystalized coniferous secretion.
Also, I stay in Amber park
Also, I like this song. In Amber Clad.

But 'like' is a little too superficial and lacks description. 
Let me explain why this song is 'level 4' to me.

1. The blend of the choir. The halo soundtrack has always known to have African influence because a significant part of the game is actually played in Africa, but I shan't go into detail why this is so. Perhaps I'm biased, but the sound of a good choir, especially without lyrics always impacts me. And I think that when it comes to a song without lyrics, its up to us to give it imagery and meaning, which I have but can't really explain can I? I don't really like it when songs include choirs trying to be epic and shout super loud like in LOTR, because even simple pieces like this does it. And brilliantly.

2. The heavy bass and beat. Some game songs like to pump you up and blast you with overly-hyped music. This one does not. This one gives you pure, unadulterated, kick-ass FORTITUDE with every step that syncs with your heartbeat. And the great thing about the Halo soundtrack is that is blends in seamlessly with the environment. I'm a nerd

3. Guitar. Don't know why but currently in this phase of enjoying heavy guitar, no not the crazy pitched Through the Fire and Flames kind of shit. I WANT DEATH METAL \m/. I mean the rock kind. The kind like the opening to Holiday by Green Day. Yes, there's a wild side with a lot of testosterone in me my friend. Attempting to escape the shame of my super ultra pretty fingernails.

4. Originality. This may be the most crucial thing that makes Level 4 songs. Something just different, stylistic. Apart from the parts mentioned above, the fact that the song incorporates guitar, choir, violin, bass and drums so well is testament to a good artist, regardless that he is making it for a game. In fact, yes, make it for a game.

A similar song I've posted before. Also has a choir and a very nice pace that augments your stamina.

I'm a person who strives to appreciate the beauty in every genre, to give credit to creativity regardless of the stereotypes one may have. Having said that, I'm probably just trying to act cool and be hipster with music when most of my music is of one kind anyway. The death metal kind.

I still recall the days in the media lab with Tze Yang blasting all his crazy punk rock and yes, death metal. Really tried to understand why he thought it was good and I do to some degree :)


In the Darkroom on my black notebook
I wonder how I survived 5 days of silence cause it sure as hell isn't working now... I should just let the Lord take control. Trust that the Lord will do good work. Its just a bother never knowing. Aren't I just trapped in post-P6 daze? Have I become so scared of my feelings? Why must the guy be the first to say. Why must the guy be the protector. Perhaps I must learn to throw away all my pride before I can have true confidence. For if you have nothing you have nothing to lose. And it is said, "He who exalts himself will be humbled and he who humbles himself will be exalted"


Why can't I just be death metal myself? But what is myself? Do not be deceived by popular wisdom. Look underneath the shell of 'living without pretense', because without pretense then we may stoop to our lowest primal instincts and emotions. Without control and tolerance we lose civility.


Never be fooled into thinking a person is one-sided, that he fits into a mould. Or at least, I'm trying to adhere to do unto others what you have them do unto you.


I'm starting to ramble. Like my GP essays.

The monkey in a banana was a prize my elder brother won at some fair in the UK, its as big as my younger brother. The seal (or supposed to be seal) was my birthday gift to my younger brother.

Tuesday, 27 September 2011


I like this word. It is very strange. It is sad and peaceful at the same time. It is bittersweet. It is beautifully tragic. It is human. It is fantasy
It is a lament. 
A sorrow hymn. A melancholic melody. 
It has a medieval feeling that I like, a bit of a game nerd I suppose. 
That is my interpretation. A lament.


A piano lament.

I want to play like him. Maybe one day. But for now I lament all the laziness I had in Primary School. I can blame it on caning and people not teaching me how to appreciate music, but I am at fault definitely.
I lament my inaptitude in musical instruments and laziness. Now I can only sorrowfully listen to the beauty of hard work and talent in all this young musicians.


A chinese lament
Today during the paper I totally fell into an epic mood-swing when I found myself re-reading the same text 5 times. Instead of tackling questions I started to tackle why I just bloody suck at chinese and why I didn't study harder last time and why after I promised to work hard in Sec 4 because I didn't retake and get an A. And how will I live with the fact that despite being OK at the rest of my subjects, on par in some ways (even though it already seems below standards) my biggest disadvantage is my horrible chinese. And since it is academic in nature I will always have a tarnish on my report card and be a failure failure compared to my classmates. Inferior and just not as smart. Yes that was a whole lot of depressing thoughts. It is awful for me to say this but perhaps in my little head I was stuck with the idea that I was above average, the cream of the crop in Singapore, but I am utterly not. I had big dreams of changing the country, moving people, making a difference, but for now, they will be washed away by the tide of negativity. The waves will come back and the next time it does I will ride it into open sea. For it is said, "A docked galleon will never discover new shores." (Paraphrased, forgot the source)


A lament for God
It is only in times of adversary and fear that we grapple for Him. Why must is be so, and woe to the man who admits this not. I am closest to God in music.


A timeless lament of time
Economics sucks. Not the subject, no. I like the subject in some ways. No, the whole study of it, is centered around something that sucks. Opportunity cost. And my oh my it has cost so much. So much time wasted in my childhood enjoying it. Woah woah hold up, that's a bad thing? Yes. Look at the people who did not waste it. They learned guitar, they read chinese books. I was playing computer. I still do in my spare time.


A lament of childhood
And yet I miss those days of pure Runescape and Age of Mythology and whatnot. Where have they gone? Were they ever appreciated? Up till now, a kind of nostalgic remembrance in my playlist dashed with songs from different soundtracks that made my life. They are my lonely tribute to something I always want to remember. A childhood.


A lament of lamenting
I. Miss. Singing. To. An. Actual. Audience. Who. Wants. To. Hear. Me. Sing. The saddest part of a choir is that the songs become ineffectual when you are alone.


A lament of poetry
When you're too scared to say it. When you're just in the moment. When you're thoughts scramble from whimsical gibberish into stylistic writing, when you lose all your friends and gain yourself.
The Outlier
In tundra the fire
In Cathedrals the choir
In kingdoms the shire
Amongst them all you are the outlier
Dissolving my ire
And lifting me higher
You are my most complementary attire
So I'll build you a pyre and love you without hire.
I just pray you're a replier.









I just came up with that in 5 seconds! :D (As you can clearly see, Li Keen has gone horribly maniacal after spouting all his dark thoughts out)




Just randomly decided to post C&H. Haven't been there in a while.

Sunday, 25 September 2011

Past-Midnight Post

Many ways I could have started/titled this post. But let me share a tumblr re-blog shall I?

An Obituary printed in the London Times: Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he … was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: - Knowing when to come in out of the rain; - Why the early bird gets the worm; - Life isn’t always fair; - and maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason. He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights I Want It Now Someone Else Is To Blame I’m A Victim Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
Just thought it was amusing and somewhat apt. Thanks Brenda :)

"A guy and a girl can be just friends, but at one point or another, they will fall for each other. Maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late, or maybe forever." ~500 Days of Summer (I have yet to watch this sigh, first recommended by my VS History teacher of all people) 

But why though? So irritating, that even when you're not bothered with such things but your friends egg you on with their teasing. Hmph. I refuse to be obsessed. Xuan Jie coined having a GF, especially from somewhere outside your class as gaining 'immunity' from your classmates. Hahahaha I totally agree - makes me want to get one. For example, its a little idiotic but its easier to talk to Yams because 
I know, she won't be bothered whatever I say either! Easier to compliment, easier to fool around with, hence we must treat all as friends!! Yay :D (oh my, standard of GP deteriorating with each posts more and more. [It forms a GP]) 


Its the Sabbath.
Heh, you know some Christians, after being so consumed by the church they sort of speak in a manner that disillusions others? In fact I've heard many pastors warning against in, calling it 'Christian-ese' lol. Basically, Christianity is about relationships, if you start talking like the Bible to people who haven't heard it before, how the hell do you expect them to listen?


Awesome time studying with Ben, HQ & Amanda (and later Clare, Yams, Lynn, etc.) I wish I could elaborate but Yeah... Really tired. Another time


I thought I could last further with this post but I'm tired.
This pic makes a really good 'lock screen' :D Was taken wayyy back, re-discovered it recently.

Thursday, 22 September 2011

The chronicles of group work

Its late. I should be mugging. Warrant myself a break, not in the mood whatsoever. WR is finished I guess. Meaning HALF of PW is done. At a time like this, with peaceful music playing in the background and chocolate milk in the fore, its just, a nice time to reflect, and let your spirit slumber. Take a breather. Remember what you're made for. Questions slipping in and out. What (who) am I studying for? A person Myself God Hmm. How queer! One might ask, where art thou parents? (WHY AM I PRETENDING TO LIVE IN CAMELOT) My parents, to my immense relief and warmth, tell me (at different times, paraphrased), 'look son, you've made it to RJ, did you know that was already beyond my dreams and expectations? We're leaving it up to you because you know how to handle yourself' Awww :) (Attempting to love my family more, can see they are trying to make an effort to act like one after I voiced my concerns) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I have begun to compartmentalize and destabilize. Do you know how differently I sound to different people? And against conventional wisdom, maybe I'm keeping myself away from you because you're the one I don't want to lose. SIOLLL SWEET SIA LI KEEN. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This is where the title begins. Back in Primary 5/6 we had a group in class and the guys in the group, me included, did a terrible thing. In fact, we did not do a damn thing. And hence forth after the teacher's rage in response to the girls' complaints, I set out to do good work. And for some reason my group mates usually ask me to be the leader (they probably know I enjoy Saikang). It has ever since not been only once that I was forced to bear the brunt of the project after all, but unlike the girls I complained not until a moral standing must be upheld. I am sounding sophisticated and sleepy, perhaps another time. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 第一次音乐和摄影被华文upstaged

Wednesday, 21 September 2011


Tumblr + Wordpress + Blogger + Livejournal(?) = The world will catch fire around me and I will still be blogging.


TED TALKS (OP INSPIRATION?) IS ON MY iPHONE YAY :D Just watched this on the bus home.

Its pretty unnerving. No not the video, but my mind. Profound interest, curiosity, critical thinking, was replaced by 'CAN I USE THIS FOR GP?' Die. I've been indoctrinated :(. Then again, I brushed away the thoughts and relaxed for a moment, meh. just watch and enjoy. This blog serves absolutely no academic interest anyway. (Its more like a detriment :|)


From my old friend's blog's sidebar (which quotes from the Bible anyway):
"What good will if be for a man if he gains the world, yet forfeits his soul?"
- Matthew 16:26

What a bad day! Well actually not really... so maybe. Its a contradictory day! (don't know how many times I contradicted/balanced my words today) And a copy-Kwang Ik day! Spoke like him and acted like him throughout sia. (And the top portion of the post is slightly inspired by his own post) Also from his blog: We build walls not to keep people out but to see who loves us enough to climb them. What?!? What?! (Attempting to copy Zheyuan's mannerism here) Meaning I need to build walls??! (N) Don't really like the idea (not even while playing RTS games, I rarely build walls except for aesthetics), EVERYBODY CAN COME IN YAY :D But then but then. It means my house gets messed up by people who keep breaking and touching my stufff!! (Metaphorical nonsense here)


Sam Tan talked to me today in metaphors (Paraphrased a little)
Sam: Li Keen you're too idealistic. When people are firing at your doorstep. When people's guns are loaded and you're getting shelled. You're still playing diplomat.
Me: War is terrible. People die. Families are broken up. Its the most horrible thing on earth. God said 'Don't judge'
Sam: True.
YOU PROBABLY DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL WE WERE TALKING ABOUT. Hence, you can interpret it anyway you want.


The mental switch.
Here's a tip that I gained from my VS Bio teacher Mr Munir: When you want to take a mental break from studying, switch to using your other brain. In other words, if you were intensively practicing mathematics until your paper looked something like this: ¡™£¢∞§¶•ªº–≠œ∑´®†¥¨ˆøπ«åß∂ƒ©˙∆˚¬…æΩ≈ç√∫ñµ≤≥÷, stop what you're doing, and read Time magazine, write a poem, sing a song, maybe read the Wiki page on Belgium; switching the use of your 'logical' right brain to the 'intuitive' left brain.

And if you have been doing Geography essays and notice that the word 'volcano' really looks like its spilling lava (just that its iron-smelling and is oozing out your fingers), attempt some mental sums, measure the time taken for you to recover from a faint after receiving a e-mail from your PW teacher, you know, normal stuff you do everyday that requires logic.

Why not extend it?
At times when you're depressed over a classmate, your grades, why not take some time to cool off doing something completely different? Take your mind off things. Watch a TV show, sketch a person, play Happy Birds or something. Remember that there's more to life. Remember that there are starving adults, missing kids, poor paraplegic.


Thanks Yams for intro-ing (three months ago ._.)! (though you probably don't read but whatever.)
In case you have been A. living under a rock. B. living under a boulder
THIS IS JAZZ BRO/SIS. \m/ (did I post this before?)

Monday, 19 September 2011

In the heartlands

Its 712PM
I had half an hour to eat a plate of chicken rice but my lack of appetite declined the offer.
As I watch the sun crawl behind the iconic flats of Hougang, I realize its one of those rare moments where I can just sit on this stone bench and feel the breeze. I wish I had a camera, but too late for that. Without a compact, it seemed tedious to bring a DSLR everyday, leaving me with my iPhone.

Strange. All of a sudden I had this feeling I saw this all in a dream before.
Strange. I'm talking really sophisticatedly again.
Reminds me of just a day ago when my family was out eating with my elder brother's friend who was a girl. (I DO NOT ASSUME THINGS) Its amusing to see how my brother's tone and speech changes with atmosphere. While at home playing video games a whole load of profanities exits his lips, at a fine restaurant with his ex-classmate, his language wouldn't betray him amongst the posh wine drinkers.

I guess at times like this in an environment like this, I'm either talking one on one with a friend or blogging and writing in my book.


Wonder if I should I ever change my blog space/blog title like Jaren. Sounds a litlte irrelevant now but whatever.


People blowing up around me about PW. I don't want to complain yet I don't want others to think I've got it easy. Never mind. I'm better than that.


How long must you wait?

Haven't changed in a while

The picture above.
The clothes I wear.
The events of the day.
The people I know.
The faith.
Its unexciting, uninspiring... but it will do.
Who am I to ask for change while I linger? Who am I to invoke change and regret disruption?


Even though its Odd

Even when the day is dark
Even till a broken dawn
Even as lethargy lengthens
Even if you'd rather me gone (but wanting me waiting)
I'll wait for you
Even though its Odd




Though the lyrics do not speak as much to me, it is just good ol' MATT ROCK classic rock for me.

Saturday, 17 September 2011

A morning destitute

Woke up like any on a hot hazy afternoon with little direction for the day.
I staggered off bed as usual and headed for the world outside my cave.
But this post is not about how I eventually conquered my breakfast and all that sort of phenomenally useless bits of information some people might post about.

I'm posting because I just finished the Saturday Special Report on Nursing Homes.

It is absolutely heart-wrenching to witness the fragility of old age again, having done so first hand two years ago when my grandfather was bedridden.

He had been living by himself in a flat somewhere near Macpherson, Circuit Road or something. Then everything sort of became a hazy film strip. One day hearing that he fell from my mother. The next day again. The next day diagnosed with osteoporosis. And everything sort of went downhill from there.

Just. One. Fall.

My uncle didn't want to take him. And my father told my mother the son should take responsibility, not the daughter. (He's from the maternal side) And no one had the resources or time to take care of him since everyone was working. Hence, no one could take care of him. I didn't know this was the case then. Going further back, I still remember sitting in his clunky little Hyundai as he fetched me from home after Robotics when I was P5, and other times when he took me for Chinese Tuition when I was P4 to P6. Talking about old age and other things I cannot remember. I still remembered he had a flair for engineering and loved building things. (He was an electrical engineer). He gave me some old kind of building toys to play with, lego of course, and another, more complicated set with cogs and spindles. Only now do I know how much he loved us and I guilt over my stone face every time I see my family.

Not a very nice way to wake up to a mugging weekend.

Look out the window and feel a therapeutic wind and life goes on.

Excerpt from Linkin Park's Waiting for the end - Translated into chinese with correct syllables.
Just wanted to practice some chinese.



This was actually taken after the theme 'circle' was closed. Still, I thought it was a good photo. Both for Circle and Imagine. Wasn't submitted. BTW all these images are on FB.

Friday, 16 September 2011

Quirks and Comfort

We all have our quirks.
For instance, recently I keep using the word nonsense.
Andddd I moodswing!! Yay Coffee coffee :D


So maybe that guy doesn't talk very coherently. Maybe that girl seems to talk only about anime.
Does it matter? Are you going to be less of a friend? HELL NO \m/ Everyone deserves the utmost respect. Everyone deserves friendship. In fact, appreciate the quirks! Smile and be cheerful every time that guy starts talking nonsense. Laugh when the girl starts ranting that Naruto is becoming really long-winded. (I don't think so btw)

Because the magical thing is, between good friends, they somehow just start adopting each other's quirks :)


This part is attributed to that thing no one likes to talk about, literally.

"Why isn't he talking?" "Why does she only reply in short sentences?" "WHY CAN'T THIS BUS MOVE ANY FASTER"  That's right, we all encounter it. Some people try to reason, ahhh it doesn't matter, why should I care? WELL... maybe you don't care, but what if the other party does! Which is why very caring and not very humble people like me will always attempt to break silence. Though its likely we mind a little, it is because we don't want others to feel insecure around us either.

But truth is, YOU just being there is awesome enough :)

So if I don't talk, maybe its because I just like your company and I'd prefer you not be bothered so much. Just be comfortable like good friends are :) Smile lots, get high, do random crap in public :D
Doesn't matter if we talk very standard and superficial at times, the fact that its coming from YOU, is just NICE. It doesn't have to be like those times when things aren't looking up except as you're falling from the 24th storey and ya know... just being deep. Which at times is why people become good friends anyway :)

YOU'RE SCUM. Jussssss (Some of my classmates will get this)

So how do you deal with it? COURAGE BEACHES (you know that sandy area near the sea? Formed due to an indented coastline... STOP.)  \m/ Be unafraid to be yourself and speak your mind. [Insert friends don't mind ultra cliché quote here]


Just wanted to share my opening to the GP question "The environment should be saved at all costs." Do you agree?

Humanity has caused many environmental problems. Global warming is just the tip of the melting iceberg; we have unscrupulously over-fished...

I wanted to make this face.




Sometimes when injustice has been done to you, we don't get angry. Instead, the weird and secretly touching thing is that your good friends get angry for you :)


Hash-brown streaks they colored
The black cloth of unkempt natural silk
I looked amidst and saw it untidy
And my soul it shivered as strands slivered
Looking no different from the tails and curls
But turn around I glimpse
Just for a second
Your smile
And the crowd becomes peaceful,
All their hair a blurry background
For a moment blissful.


Another picture for the theme Circle. Found this place before the competition at the Cathedral (I think its St. Joseph) down Victoria Street from Bugis Junction.

Wednesday, 14 September 2011

No-PW day, another re-collective

So since yesterday my groupmates tanked finishing the WR (for now), and today just so happened to be an end class early day, I simply had. Spare time. I had to google to find out what it means.

But before I go into the post-class stuff, let's just talk about the during class stuff.

Alright I'm really tired so imma be real quick (Marcus Quickie?!?)
During PE. My feet got dirty. That is all.
During Break. Class wasn't sitting together and Yan Mei is super funny.
During Physics. Kaushik asked me to play Kartrider. I never learnt to play the game. Wait I just lost it. Shoot.
During GP. Ms Tan is an awesome teacher. Just sayin~ Oh. and I'm writing too much poetic and blogg-ish english.
During Chinese.
OK this requires a text break.


一直不尊敬老师,告诉朋友他是位bitch,然后,还感撒谎。老师想给第一次的‘warning slip',你走上去拉他的手。What kind of scum does that. 如果不去告诉班主任,就是袖手旁观,对我的心里来说,是最失望的做法。Who knows what's going to happen next. Trust that the Lord will not let class bonding be ruined.


I had the pleasure of talking and eating (and heading the same way home) with Yong Kiat for about an hour and a half. With Joshua joining in for about half an hour too (without PW [he's in my group] he's pretty much a free soul as well). Since when were we actually able to do such things? Well I guess, the fact that is rare makes it all the more awesome and to be much grateful for. Yong Kiat and Joshua (Y) Thank you Lord.


I had time to actually sort out my desk (at the expense of studying ._.) after. Tend to undergo pre-study OCD and have to do lots of nonsense like that sometimes.


After that, went to visit Xun Yi's house. Was really nice of him to offer to buy the 1 for 1 Subway deal for me. (Though I became $12 poorer) And what do you know! More talking :) This one lasted for at least an hour or more too heh. Seemed really uninhibited, good friends are just like that no matter what :)


By the time I was done admiring Xun Yi's super duper nice house, I dropped over to VS to collect Jia Lok's notes and hopefully, study a while during the night study programme. (OOPS JAREN BO JIO HAHA. It was Impromptu I'm sollyyy) Welllllll I kind of burned all the time just talking with Xuan Jie (which wasss awessommeeee).


And at this moment Yiruma - Kiss the Rain is playing and I can see the tiny dots scattered across the ocean horizon. A magically peaceful day, after all. Hectic-vity starts again soon.


Canon Photo Marathon (CPM) | Circle | Not submitted (only one entry allowed)

Tuesday, 13 September 2011

God is Greatest

I would always say God is Great. Now I'd say, God is Greatest.


I read this book called 'Grace for the moment', a daily paragraph Christian thing-ey my friends gave me for my Birthday. If I remember correctly, it was truly a miracle because I didn't touch that book for 2 weeks or so. And then, I accepted Jesus into my heart. So the book was given to me even before I converted :) Preparing the way.

Today I forgot to read the passage in the morning because I was just. So. Tired. Another few days in a row without proper rest. I've now completed the WR content and at home. And then I saw the book lying there, unread for the day. Woops! So I quickly opened it and read the passage.

The title: 'Sweeter after a Rest.' Take a break. I hear Him say.


Maybe to some people, some signs just seem really trivial. Why does God care about such things? About our daily musings? About sinful creatures? He loves us. That's why. There's no such thing as 'He has better things to do'. Time, opportunity cost, etc. All these things do not hinder Almighty and Divine Power of course.


Talked to Colin again about faith on a super informal, almost joke like manner, but it does bespeak his refusal to believe in something illogical, unfounded perhaps. But 'faith is blind?, it is and it is not. God promised signs in the Bible, and inevitable, his presence and power in Saints have effects. And yet, its so easy to be skeptical about everything! Bah. Never mind I shall stop for today, need some time for rest.


I saw certain Christians before, as people whom sort of seemed distant, inhumane, desensitized, to feelings and human-ish things. Then I met Kwang Ik. So I wonder, is it good to be so Holy? Does it not make you separate and unable to connect at times? But I remember one of the last messages I got from FCBC. That genuine love for others, and connection, is Holy. So don't go on rambling about faith and religious things when people just need you to be there before they come to know the Lord. We're all still human.

 So difficult, I don't want to be left out from the crowds. I want people to know I care, not how my parents view Christians; as people who care about themselves going to Hell and hence try and convert out of fear. No. That has never been me. Or people like Qing Xiang, who lost his best friend, due to difference in beliefs according to him. I am only eager to share, because after all its 'Good News' and I'm incredulously happy for it, and because I want more to experience it with me.

I am still your friend, and it is inappropriate for me to attempt to pry open your heart when God will do it if He thinks its timely. So even after all this, I haven't forgotten how Kwang Ik first talked to me, and how I will do the same.


My hearts a stereo!
It beats for you so listen close...
Hear my thoughts in every note, oh oh.

Make me your radio!
And turn me up when you feel low!
This melody was made for you...
Just sing along to my stereo.

awww <3

Sunday, 11 September 2011

Unlock the second prison

Was the message of the yellow-ribbon initiative. Profound and meaningful.

You know that person whom I thought still held a grudge to me? Well she re-apologized just today. And even though it is slightly insensitive to double post against a 9/11 memorial, I am doing so with deliberation and reason.

Mending. No one should be stuck in the past. Remembrance doesn't hinder progress. And maybe in some ways, the SMS is symbolic in a surprising way that bespeaks the delayed process of healing. Terror, hate, fear, etc. All a rebellion against God. In his glory even the most evil of devils will be destroyed. And in faith you will find all encompassing peace inside and outside. Christianity has been emphasized to me, as about relationships. With God. With people.

An article in the Straits Times contends about the inappropriate response to the 9/11 attacks. How one President decided to retaliate ferociously, in the end ending even more innocent lives. Indeed, perhaps in times of crisis, it is one of the most crucial, the zenith moment to expound faith, restraint, forgiveness, mercy, and grace. The last word, was emphasized during 'a life worth living' today at church.

The example given? A guy punches you. You don't punch back: Mercy. You don't punch back and you tell him its OK, and you believe so: Forgiveness. You do both and buy him an ice-cream: Grace. Simple, and meaningful. Today I will re-dedicate my life to loving all.


One of the most chilling videos I've ever watched. Thanks Paul for posting this.

I remember posting in anger at some of my classmates for joking that they were 'enlightened' by Mr Khoo's conspiracy video of the 9/11 attacks. Honestly, just because its against convention doesn't make it more credible. And nevertheless, the blame game must stop. Everyone needs to right the wrong. Brinksmanship again.

Initially, I was going to post about other things, but ever so often, I think it is good practice to sensitize yourself to others. Which is why I read about current affairs, or why people should read.

The video just shocked me to the core. For a moment, I was just there. I was just in that smoking office room. And then it was over. Evil prevailed as the last words 'oh God, oh God' just ringed in my ears. And even now as I look around in my room, watching the cars outside my building run past, nothing feels real.

I remember watching on the screen in the hospital. Yes, my younger brother was born at that moment, within the hour of the attacks for certain. It is truly a tragic miracle. Back then, I didn't really get things like that.

But now, a decade down the road, after all the countless times I've tried to imagine myself in their shoes, the pain and the extreme terror, my heart just aches deeply. Literally. A sharp sting, in my left chest area.

'The death of one is a tragedy. The death of a million is a statistic.' ~Joseph Stalin (I checked, Jaren)

As we just continue on with our lives. The PW. The Promos. It just seems wrong doesn't it? And yet we can only live and pray.

God just heal all the broken hearts, heal the intangible scars as only you can. I just pray for those affected by the attacks. Never let it happen again.

Friday, 9 September 2011


People like me like to hang out and make friends with the whole world! Yay :D

But people like me, in the spirit of doing so, inevitably, subconsciously, attempts to placate others by drawing on a different self. Identity Crisis Booo :(

It is popular wisdom that the friends you hang out with and can just be yourself around... are your best friends! Yay :D

But there are friends, that because you are afraid of losing... you just sort of accommodate their style instead! SO it still isn't you! Booo :(

So we have a talent! We can hang well with different groups of people! Yay :D

And then you get mixed up because your character seems natural to some, natural to others, but in different ways! How is possible to have that!? SCHIZOPHRENIA Booo :(


Must have line break for darker parts.


As Kwang Ik said before, sometimes we just don't seem adequate enough for people. So we become someone else for a while. And I'm left wondering after, if that was really me. And I guess it was. Just on a different level. A different side. Just perhaps.


And I'm left wondering if being emo/deep is even me! Must it be that everyone must have a dark side! Why is that the dark side has to be the real side! Has anyone ever heard of a person who just pretends to be emo but inside he's full of joy? HELL NO. WHY WHY WHY WHY Becoming incoherent 


TOTALLY NOT. RAWR I'm not emo all the time DUHHHH. Who says I have to be huh? >< EAT MAHJONG. PLAY DOMINOS. WAIT WHAT? Marcus challenge accepted!


Each text break is like some sort of mood swing sia. Need to see psychiatrist. Will invite Husain come see with me. Zaki let me borrow your existentialist book while I wait.


Haven't written a poem in a long time!! Just don't feel romantic right now LOL (I'm Hopeless liao~) Gwyneth you're right :(( lol 


Maybe I just have so many bottled up fantasies, dreams, things I want to say, scream, and pray the best will happen. Incoherence indicating that something needs to be written but can't be written.


This was the most random post ever. CLEVERBOT.


I just found out what Vinyl is today Brenda LOL :x



Someone better stop me before I really crack and do something reckless... like maybe... typing something super confidential in very small text and whitening that part out. (Or is this revenge for making me highlight that part on your blog JAREN?) OR OR OR maybe if you take the first letter of every first sentence after every first line break in all previous 20 posts you will spell out HIDDEN MESSAGE SIAA WOAH WOAH WOAH *blows all minds* NO wait seriously. Don't do that I was kidding. Or am I??? OMG I'M MESSING WITH MYSELF. AHHH Going crazyyy.

You don't know how lovely you are~... aaaahhhhoooooooooo :) So therapeutic to sing that part. Coldplay!! (need to really go buy their albums [or just break in to Rifdi's House])


HAHAHA DID YOU NOTICE I MENTIONED NEARLY ALL BLOGGERS' NAMES WHOSE BLOGS I VISIT? Still missing: MC/MQ/DS/ASH <---- password protected bugger /HEB/CPx3 <--- seriously how do you keep 3 blogs. Ok that was a lot I didn't mention. Also: People who never blog in agessss WC/Q/JG/LW. NVM NEED SLEEP TOMORROW JUST THINK ABOUT TAKING PHOTOS.

Thursday, 8 September 2011

Old Friends

Heh I still remember the title is actually the title of mission 20 in Age of Mythology.
That was random, yet its kind of linked to my post... just about... reminiscing.
It is still my regret that I wasn't close to any of my Primary School Girl Classmates, unlike Yan Zhou and Darren, but I guess no one can really go back.

Had some Primary School Friends over just now, sometimes they're just a phone call away. Primary School friends tend to stay in the same neighbourhood heh.

I wanted to post about them... because they are quite a unique sort of gang. I'm always one who enjoys noticing the less noticed and remembering the likely forgotten. So undoubtedly, VS friends \m/, but then, how many people talk about their Primary School mates? In a way, they tend to diverge and meet up sporadically, and everyone becomes really different people. Dare I say it, in some ways these Primary School friends can be nicer company than VS friends. SOMETIMES (I am painfully aware of the VS audience on my blog with no Primary School mates)

They are not the most deep, most connected, most 'awww <3, bromance' kind. Nope, definitely not this gang lol. We're just some simple guys having some fun once in a while. Its nice to be reminded of that kind of feeling. The Primary-School-everydayhavefunnoneedcareaboutworld-feeling. Like really, there's nothing more to say. Let's just meet up once in a while, chat, have dinner, play mahjong. Laugh like hell, repeat super old jokes and stories ("REMEMBER THAT TIME WE..."), for once, not bothering about social stigmas, caring so much about our current lives now.

So in a way, they are like the VS gang. (though the VS gang has the extra kick (Not Yong Wee) of being awesome mates you can talk about so much more stuff to heh) The nice touch to them being of course, all just living a stone's throw away in Marine Parade.

In fact, this whole blog is about reminiscing. The part of me that always wants to remember.


Old School (PUN) :>

Wednesday, 7 September 2011

The Excerpts of Life in my Black Notebook

Sporadic thoughts of a tired mind

Solitude Day 6
I guess it didn't end
Back in my home, VS, studying alone.
Haven't talked to certain people in 6 days.
Lien Chew wasn't very helpful but he's a v. good friend nonetheless.
Pump up the music. Let's do Chemistry.


Journaling is the only thing that keeps a lonely explorer sane.


Just talked to my junior. Bah. His class sounds terrible.
Every generation sounds worse and worse. Music and prayer the only solace.

If you want to keep the VS spirit going, every generation needs to make an effort. Doesn't sound too good right now. Remembering the juniors' attempt at cheering after Speech Day...

Life can be pretty depressing sometimes.
Especially when its lunch time and the VS canteen is closed.


Love is not a game. If you quit a game you do a forfeit. If you quit love your partner also does a forfeit.


Trying to forget a hurtful memory in a short time is like trying to rub off sharp pencil marks with a dull eraser quickly- You'll make it worse.


Wonder if I should be looking forward to Saturday when I'll be all by myself.


All those love songs I've been singing out loud, when will someone else hear them? Dramatic fantasies that are the only things that liven up the day.


I remember dreams somewhat better than others. And I had another a few days ago... I can't say it.


Just met Amrit! 'nuff said.


Life is a highway! I wannna ride it all night long! ~Life is a highway by Rascal Flatts (OST of Disney Pixar's Cars)


Its not 1.30pm. Going home for lunch at last! Gotta eat my cereal Will finish Chem later.


My brother keeps playing this zomg. Stuck in my head

Tuesday, 6 September 2011

5 Days of Solid Solitude

Doesn't mean I wasn't around people.
Its just... a state of mind.
Nope it isn't exactly a bad thing either. That's called loneliness.
Today wrapped it up and leaves me with a decision to change that.
And nope I guess it isn't angst-ing either, I'm just living.


Some lyrical therapy... do you recognize them? Highlight if you want to know (or have this inexplicable urge to know this friggin' familiar lyrics you've seen before but just can't remember!)
The more I see the less I know the more I'd like to let it go Snow (Hey Oh) Red Hot Chili Peppers
Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry, you don't know how lovely you are... The Scientist Coldplay
Why not sit in silence while the muddy waters clear? Clearly Quite Absurd Deep Purple
I'm learning to walk again! I believe I've waited long enough, where do I begin? Walk Foo Fighters
还要多久,我才能在你身边?晴天 周杰伦
Everybody's changing and I don't feel the same... Everybody's Changing Keane
I can't watch the time go by, I won't keep it inside, freak out let it go! Freak Out Avril Lavigne
All of our friends, saw from the start! So why didn't we believe it too? Built to Last Melee
Hold you in my arms, I just wanted to hold you in my arms... Starlight Muse
I've got a great idea, I'm going to wait right here. The Great Escape We are Scientist
I am selfish I am wrong I am wrong... I swear I'm right! Swear I knew it all along! Vindicated Dashboard Cofessional
There's a place where everything is free and everyone is just like you and me Runaway Electrico
And many more... (woah shit had to restrain myself from spamming Coldplay :x)

Met a stranger yesterday at the food center outside Buangkok whom I was sharing a seat with. As usual, awkward glances here and there ensued until I summoned up some courage and asked who he was waiting for (he was just sitting there for 10 minutes). Conversation went on even with him giving me advice on University choices. Sometimes, we just got to make the first move in opening up. -Also on Facebook


On the flipside. A COMPLETELY RANDOM stranger came up to me, Hendrik, Jun Yew, and of course, the fabulous Jaren asking for money straight in the face. She just stretched out her hand and didn't explain a thing until we asked her what for. She was plump, wearing clean clothes, and had a decent handbag. She said she needed to eat. However optimistic and 'give the benefit of the doubt' we can be, this one, in my opinion, is just scum.


People will drift but you know they were there, for just that once. It turns out you really do only just have yourself.


Mean it when you say it. Dishonesty is disconnection.


Interestingly, I got dao-ed by another 'couple'. Is it just me, or am I the only one who notices things? Photographers.


The people who make a million faults you see but admission of them you hear none.


How can you stand for your own ideals and opinions when the other party doesn't give you any respect in the first place, instead insisting on his own ideas without listening. And then you know continuing to insist your own will result in further fighting, so we humbly sacrifice for the team.

Then when a higher authority whom the person doesn't question tells the whole group off for a mistake you knew about but didn't bring up for fear of invoking that other party's wrath... it just irks you to the core. Angry at myself for being so lousy at communicating my ideas to people sometimes. Yet still angry at the underestimation of my thinking.


After all of this it just wasn't my day to be studying. Is it good to have a solo mentality after all? The 'I'm just here to study, friends take 2nd priority' attitude? The 5 days were a re-lapse to old Li Keen. The reactive vs proactive. (Not aggressors if you happen to be from my PW group) The pre-Jia Lok in some ways. The one who didn't bother starting convos or texting

Sunday, 4 September 2011

The internet

So I posted something for harmless fun. Or so I thought.

So I got flamed, scolded, angst-ed at, lectured, a girl probably downright hates me now.

So I am tired. Explaining never works. People don't think with the context.

So I took Bryan's advice. Just deleted the damn thing.

So what would Jia Lok do? Apologize. And I have. Back to solitude, enough of the negative peer influence. Enough of the swearing.

Sheng Yi. Haven't spoken to him in a while. Ok 3 days is not that bad. Wonder if he's OK now.

Another day just flew away

Do you ever feel like your life is incomplete if you don't see someone for a few days/a day?
A purposefully minimalist shot of two angular coloumns, more Victoria Street Photography

Friday, 2 September 2011

Move Along

It was Teacher's Day/The day Hitler invaded Poland.

While some of the more optimistic peeps blog about how much fun they had playing soccer at their old school, having awesome Teacher's Day celebrations at their new school, and drumming to their new albums, it wasn't the most cheerful day for me.

It was, undoubtedly, ultra awesome to see the 4D peeps again (and arriving in overwhelming numbers again \m/), but as with every meaningful occasion, it comes to a close. However, this wasn't just an occasion. I shouldn't be complaining since all the 4C peeps practically have lost almost all their ex-teachers, but finding all my ex-teachers missing (cause they left earlier), reminded me that eventually all of them might leave... Eventually, we all leave...

Already I find myself unable to recall certain lessons and teachers vividly; not even counting Primary School. And yes, I don't see a lot of my old friends anymore... Even in RJ, people I've met earlier seem to just glance past without a wave or a smile anymore. I don't blame them, even I can't remember all their names and faces. And it reminded me again that in Primary and Secondary School, I wasn't the Lee Jia Lok type. I didn't exactly have a super ultra close group of friends whom until now still meet up and stay true. Well, except for some bloggers of course :) \m/ <3... bah. And I even remembered, after JC, how many friends will you be able to see again? I don't think I'm lucky enough to end up in a class full of RJ peeps in the future like how my current class has 4 VS dudes.

Going overseas to study, has suddenly taken a dark turn. I wonder how old friends like Wei Ge and Clarence feel. The former used to be a good friend of mine, we even won a singing competition together, and the trophy was my parting gift when he had to leave Singapore... it was just... so sad...

Old friends drift apart not because they want to, but because things have changed, people change. People tell me you always have yourself. Bah, if life was about me I might have ended it long ago... I don't know, just maybe. And if you understood a poem I posted previously, one line actually talks about how I used to dream of seeing the Aurora Borealis by myself, maybe taking nature photography just like Vincent Munier. But that... has changed. I just don't like the idea of solo-ing all over the place anymore. What a contradiction to 'never stop having your own fun'.

And referencing to another blogger. What happened to Old Li Keen? The one who could take solitude well, the one who excelled, had strong values, etc... Heh, just the other day my friends were commenting how emo my studying music can be haha. Well I guess its true.

I guess I just wanted to be the number one in people's lives because I treat everyone else that way.


And then I thought, as a witness, shouldn't I be standing firmly secure and being a true example? What happened to changing for the better? But the devil accuses and brings you down with rhetoric. We have the one marked difference from others. We are not sinless, worry-less, temptation-less, but we have The Holy Spirit.


God bless all teachers.


Realized I posted the song I wanted to accompany before. Another one (two) Play both at the same time.

The sun calling
The leaves crawling
The snow falling
The debris thawing
The winds cawing
The vapour pouring
The thunder roaring
Whilst clouds de-forming
The sun calling
If you can't withstand my weather,
You won't appreciate my beauty.