Saturday, 17 December 2011

Across the World in 17 hours

Changi to Dubai to Hamburg.
Our journey started in Changi Airport where a mass of councillors were sending off the many Councillors on our trip as well as filming for something which I think I'm not allowed to betray yet.
Finally got to know my group and we ventured around the departure hall as any group would. Found out my group had 3 people in the same class so me and Chan Qy were a bit extra. Then again, looking at the number of HP and Council participants, we were a minority anyway.

When we were on the plane Flo (or was it YuQing) took me black notebook (my birthday gift from 12S06E) and read it, her conclusion being that I was a very sad person. Naise. Me, Martha and Theo decided to watch Tree of Life (Cannes Film Festival Winner) at the same time. And omg its really really siao. The show really throws you into the deep end of sensory and existentialism. I don't want to go into the details of the show, rather I will talk about the reactions. Mostly Theo falling asleep halfway, and me and Martha glancing each other time to time just to express our exasperation at the show. It was like whuuttttt. I sort of got the point but it felt like 5 hours rather than 1 hour and a half. Maybe should have tried Contagion instead hmm.

I was trying my best to adapt to German time by then so at one point while everyone was sleeping I decided to try a poem. Meh later.

At Dubai our group was one of the groups that managed to stay together (probably the last time though xD) We followed Naishad who preached free food at the food court but was utterly devastated to find it under renovation. So we went to Macs instead (surprise surprise)

That was the view at Macs (its a HDR image)

Other than that Dubai was pretty uneventful. Finally sat of the plane to Germany.

Upon touch down we met our tour leader Elaine, an ex-Rafflesian who took last year's GCEP group as well as various other RJC groups like the Raffles Middle East Program.

They were shocked, a little mocking that I wore thermal but woe to them when they stepped out of the airport and realized it was freaking cold. Never mind that, here's the view of the airport!

Also a HDR (Morning Rises and Dawn Sets are really difficult to take without bracketing OK?) Visited the RutHaus, the office building (with gothic architecture) of the local Town Council. But meh I'm not the story telling type, more the blog for thoughts and feelings type.

The christmas spirit sunk in a little more with the huge christmas market just outside the ruthaus where I had a go at the local Wurst (sausages), which btw.... IS AWESOME. At night we visited the ongoing re vitalization of an old port in Hamburg which alluded a little to the Marina Bay area. The main difference was civic engagement in Germany which was at epic proportions with Architecture Competitions (winner gets his design built which can amount to Billions) and private developers given tours of the area to help build up this new portion. Sounds awesome right? Trouble is, Marina Bay took 3 years and how long will these plans take? A whopping 20 years. Bitch.

Hotel was awesome and we somehow landed the largest room. Wooo Blumz and me roomies awesomeeee.


Airplane Mode
Read, watch, glimpse, listen
Above the clouds faces glisten
Made of steel and Aluminum
Filled with thoughts and feelings
More than a million


Checking back on my book, I realized I wrote something about prom cup that I didn't post. To hell with it. One noteworthy thing though, my elder brother was a debator. (But not me)


Behind on:
Blog Posts
Photo Editing and Uploading
Card Writing
Packing for next trip
Planning for next year events

So I decided to play Civilization. Genius.


And the fact that some songs continue from the last in terms of pitch and transition DAMIT. HOW TO POST?
So instead. I will self-troll and post something not from that album because any less than the whole album is a crime. (Which I have already committed with two songs from the album I posted last time)
Oh Noezz I'm a fanboyyy

Monday, 12 December 2011

Prom Cup

AHA. Fooled ya. No post about Germany yet. This happened directly before the trip... so didn't have time to post.

This is related to the trip though, because many debators were on the trip as well. (Prom Cup is an International Debating Competition organized by my school) And was the topic of one of our dinner conversations! (Which became quite heated) I should disclaimer that I post because I feel strongly about topics (usually), and it is a disgrace but I am no stranger to being judge-mental, one should read with a pinch of salt at my so called 'observations'.

As TED talks speaker Chimamanda Adichie put it, there is always a danger of having a 'single story'. An impression of something based on just a few stories that corroborate. Perhaps instead of pushing aside evidence that does not coincide as being inconsistent, we need to hunger for it to make a wholesome impression. I think that Raffles Debate is one of those CCAs one has to experience to get one side of Raffles to make the picture, just a little bit more complete.

Wow I sure as hell thought I had an awful lot more to say (OH NO IM BECOMING RIFDI), but it seems I've exhausted this thought pattern to that particular conversation in Germany. Well suffice to say that the debators are exceptionally brilliant, ambitious, and convicted, and sometimes the trouble lies in overdoing any of them, or not drawing the line between debates and routine conversations. I remember one of them saying he was 'an arrogant, elitist, bastard' and he doesn't care about it. Pity that I think, that really he does, but he's too scared to say it. A lot going in my head right now.


Sometimes we scoff at, we sneer at, we judge people who laugh, make a joke, maybe giggle, or shout and talk loudly during a solemn event, maybe a funeral, maybe at a war memorial site. Maybe its just their way of coping, maybe the dead want the living to be happy and laugh, maybe the passed would have laughed too.

Is being happy after a depressing or traumatic event being strong or being pretentious?


There is a very curious impression I make on people. The top 3 misconceptions being
1. I'm from RI Sec
2. I'm from the Humanities Program
3. I'm in council/chorale

Is that good or bad?


Read this on my friend's tumblr

"I could have kissed you
under cherry blossoms,
pale petals drifting down
like the trees wanted to
pretend they could be

I could have kissed you
in the rain, drenched to
our bones and not even
caring that the skies
opened up above us
and tried to wash us out.

I could have kissed you
in a clearing in the most 
secluded woods, with
just the sound of wind
rustling through the leaves
and a few voyeuristic
finches peeping at us.

Instead, I kissed you
in a parking lot of a
Waffles House, just shy
of 2 a.m in the middle
of a hectic week, with
our waitress grinning
at us from the other
side of the window.
because honestly,
how could I not?"
~Location, Location, Location

Saturday, 10 December 2011

Wednesday, 30 November 2011

Ich Bin Ein Berliner

Off to Germany

Saturday, 26 November 2011

So not free

So sorry

Monday, 21 November 2011

Strangers like me

Today I woke up with a hunger to talk and a burst of social energy. Perhaps God knew it was a school day. So having been disappointed by the canceling of a spontaneous movie outing, I headed home, after talking to Ben about ImprovEverwhere and how I enjoy having a nice conversation with strangers at times.

Well lo and behold whoever is up there is watching and I met a VS guy planning to appeal into RJ on the way home with Joshua and we had a nice long chat about it. It didn't stop there, heading to the new Bedok bus interchange, I met a person whom asked for a dollar to take the bus. Surprise surprise he happens to be an ex-Rafflesian and we talked about random stuff ranging from housing prices to Christianity. Well well interesting person I would say (ARGH WHY AM I TALKING LIKE KWANG IK) A little queer coming from his loudness in public (and bravery I might add, being able to talk up other random strangers on the way home), and his constant pacing while waiting for the bus. Though let me get back, the christianity part is definitely what most interests me.

So as it turns out, he used to be from Montfort Sec, a catholic school, was president of Youth Christian Movement or something. And... now an atheist. (By the way Kwang Ik if you're reading he was from Adventure Scouts and Interact) Hearing that I was a Christian, he subtly tried to direct my thoughts. First recommending a book called 'why I'm not a Christian', then bringing up random trivia like 'millions of people live on a dollar a day, is God fair?'.

Well guess what mister, God isn't. For now. Coincidentally, I've just read a little about this in Mere Christianity by C.S Lewis. He's not interested in your actions but your spirituality. Jesus lauded a women for giving 2 coins, all she had, to a church, in comparison with a rich jew who gave a thousand, a small fraction of his fortune. He brings up many parables of God exalting the meek, for trying their best, nothing more. He gave one king riches and an empire, another, stripped of all possessions. It seems unfair to humans, duh. But ultimately, we, as immortal beings, are judged and salvation given to those who have gave everything, laid down their lives for Jesus. So if a Somalian believes in Jesus, starves to death, but receives salvation, is it not a far better deal than earning the riches of the world, only to lose it all in the depths of hell?

In fact, I am probably worse off than this Somalian, having been born so fortunately in Singapore, with a proper upbringing and decent standard of living. So think again, if fairness is communism, then by golly God is unfair. But no, he is just. He never asks of anything more than what you can give.

'Better is bread with a happy heart, than wealth with vexation.' -Amenope (by the way this person is an ancient Egyptian and not a Christian)

Well lets talk about this strange character I met again. So he was an engineer, now works in Insurance, is unmarried and 57, says 'in Singapore, everyone is for himself/herself', and began introducing himself by talking about all the important people in his batch and all the people he knows. So you get the rough idea? NO. That's right, I'm not going to judge. This person is wise and has obviously gone through a great much. Why should I condemn his views or shove mine onto his? To some extent, I believe he thinks me of a wishy-washy optimist, so be it. In fact, it is heartening to see a man talking to strangers like that (when I praised him for his bravery he said with an unsurprised tone 'learnt it from America and europe') It is curious that he asked me for money when he believes in general no one in Singapore would give or trust.

So do talk to a stranger given the chance, because people are more open and similar than you think, and it makes for a good story to tell.


Tuesday, 15 November 2011


Civ V is pretty addictive. It actually got me off Facebook. And the game knows it. When you achieve victory they will give you two options: 
Exit to Main Menu
Yes I'm serious, that's the options they give hahahaha.
Back then, I didn't really have a problem with that. Sure I love going out with friends and all, but hey, being alone at home wasn't bad. Now though I'd be "OMG I'M PATHETIC I HAVE NO FRIENDS D:" Heh. First world problems. But still... Civ V... zomg :D
But you know what, perhaps there is an unhealthy stereotype of gamers out there. As my friend Jeremy was saying in his OP script about Autism Spectrum Disorder kids, "They're just normal people, like you and me." xD
There is one thing that breaks the gamers' stereotype, a skill of some sort. 
Eww this guy just plays Dota all day, o wait he knows guitar?? O man cool guy. 
:/ A little sad. Never mind. I'm uncool and I'm proud.


Some quotes from the game (Researching techs and building wonders will trigger specific quotes)
()We have guided missiles and misguided men ~Martin Luther King Jr
(Biology)If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't ~Lyall Watson
(Atomic Theory)The unleashed power of the atom has changed everything save our modes of thinking and we thus drift toward unparalleled catastrophe ~Albert Einstein
(Archery)The haft of the arrow had been feathered with one of the eagle's own plumes. We often give our enemies the means of our own destruction ~Aesop
(Banking) Happiness: A good bank account, a good cook and a good digestion. ~Jean Jacques Rousseau
(Civil Service) The only thing that saves us from the bureaucracy is its inefficiency. ~Eugene McCarthy
(Economics) Compound interest is the most powerful force in the universe. ~Albert Einstein
(Flight) Aeronautics was neither an industry nor a science. It was a miracle. ~Igor Sikorsky
Oops went a bit overboard.
(Construct Big Ben) To achieve great things, two things are needed: a plan, and not quite enough time. ~Leonard Bernstein
So many more.. must... keep.... playing... urgh :X


These few days of sitting at home, replying the sporadic text, drinking chocolate milk, managing cities, reading and listening, etc. These few days of staying personal, and how joyful and sorrowful that I am closer to God when away from sinful men.


You thought I'd post something Coldplay? NAHHH I LIKE TO MESS WITH YOU.

Friday, 11 November 2011


OP ended. Well, one would see this:

But I would see this:
No more bonding with groupmates. The last milestone of school has ended, no more school, no more seeing friends on a regular basis :/

So there you have it, since young, I've enjoyed school because I love friends and perhaps you don't realize it, but the most grueling projects, the most infuriating teachers, the most difficult subjects, they bring us all together.

I've said my piece. The holiday season is here.


Class outing was a blast! Haha well 9 hours doing something as a class is no mean feat by our standards and I think it really means something. That people are willing to put in this amount just for the class. And my China bike didn't die from Changi Village and back yay :D
Cheers to 12S06E
P.S sorry marcus lol


In other news. Bought Mylo Xyloto, Rush of blood to the head and Viva la Vida (Comes with Prospekt March) at HMV in one go. Bwahahahahaha

But maybe that's not the important part. The important part is that my good friend accompanied me (and sadly did not find his Queen shirt). Very tocuhing aww. Thanks KI


Sorry, really tired after class outing, and I have to go back to East Coast tomorrow to collect my friend's trapped stuff in the locker xD



Wednesday, 9 November 2011

Jealousy, turning saints into the sea

When you share music, share a youtube video, share a quote. Do it because you want to convey the message. Do it because it is an amazing inspiration, a good laugh, a soothing tune. Not because you want to be a hipster.

Honestly, I have to keep telling myself that. I wonder if in all my arrogance and showboating, a dark cynicism had manifested - that people all carry this flaw of showing off. Of wanting to be the first to tweet that, knowing some underground music people haven't heard of, spouting trivia, sharing random 'expert' tips.

And because I am aware of it, and because it was so difficult to correct, I decided to re-enter my lonely castle, just so that I will stop sharing for the wrong reasons. I decided, also, that I was just too afraid of being wrong, that my trivia would be beaten, that I am just inferior.

Paul said in Philippians that despite some Christians mere sharing the gospel in competition, in rivalry and jealousy (I've converted X number of people, how many have you brought to God eh?) and not out of love, he rejoiced, because as long as the message stayed true, that the word, that scripture was not compromised. Then why should we be concerned?

Still. It eats me, I hate that anger. I hate this bestial competitiveness inside.
Just moments ago, I saw someone post that Vimeo video of 'Mountain'. Husain shared it on his blog and I thought it was so awesome, extremely wonderful. (Thanks Husain) And then all of a sudden my photog seniors and friends all start commenting "Woah so wonderful! Good find! This is aamzzzinggg". And I couldn't help it, and I hate it, that the nasty thought 'wtf I found it first' just immediately sprang in my head. Why is it that I seek so much attention and likes and comments huh? That video, is just worth sharing with people, and I did share because of that! Btw the vid I'm talking about: http://vimeo.com/22439234 Go watch if you haven't its really spectacular! Full Screen and blast the Nuvole Bianche!

I rarely share anything on Facebook though. Or be the first to share. I just feel undue. I feel that maybe, someone out there was like me, and I know how he feels, when say one person shares, and everyone pays no attention and the next moment this popular kid shares, he gets a thousand likes. Its why I have so few actual photographic shots on Facebook.

So I'll keep to this policy of quiet sharing (trivia, songs, etc.). To just show you I'm sincere about it. So what if I get credit or not.


I was told not to post anything Photog related. Woops.


Do you see someone acting out? Do you see someone telling cliché joke? Do you see a similar photo you've taken before? Do you see that person getting way more appreciation than you?

Do you see someone treating others differently from you? Do you see someone getting compliments for traits you have? Does it irk you? Will you shy away or protest? My OP topic is bullying, believe me when I say I know how it feels.

Take a popular person A. Take a friend B. What if you're friends with A, and you seem to click quite a bit.? What if friend B seems to give you a colder shoulder? A weaker smile? An unexcited conversation? But completely opposite when talking to A? Sometimes even when talking about. The. Exact. Same. Thing. And you just wonder, what is it you've done? What impression did you give? You just can't help but feel insecure. Guess what, its called relational bullying.

They say you can't be friends with everyone. That's true if it was pretty obvious why. (Maybe he's just a Republican and you're a Democrat) But given the above scenario, you just can't help but ask why can't you be better friends with B when B seems to cozy up to A so well, and A has similar mannerisms, characteristics, tastes, as you. Why is it, that they just don't want to engage you.

Why is it that people can't let go of their impressions.

But what is all the fame in the world, compared to having a relationship with God through Jesus? Tell me, what does the emptiness feel like compared to just knowing, that you're truly loved and justified by the Lord? Matthew 16:26 (Also quoted by Clarence on his blog):
What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul?

Title of the post is from (as I'm sure everyone knows) Mr Brightside ~ The Killers


Its been a long time since I had a proper, raw post like that.
Bryan Lum intro-ed
I enjoy the mellowness, a bit less pop, less mainstream Coldplay. Just pure, soothing listening. Lyrics are meaningful too. Btw I looked it up and the title has nothing to do with the song lol. Chris just wrote it while in Amsterdam

Monday, 7 November 2011

Gonna re-write

Don't care going to re-write.

The music I posted was weird at worst and meaningful at best.
The first part goes
I could stick around and get along with you, hello.
It doesn't really mean that I'm in to you, hello.
You're alright but I'm here darling to enjoy the party
Don't get excited 'cause that's all you'll get from me, hey
Yeah, I think you're cute, but I really think that you should know
I just came to say hello.

The song played for Audio Mob too


What I don't write I imply, either way I'm honest.


Audio Mob recollection
Bonding with 6E and other random VS and RJ friends yay :D
Didn't get to know everyone from RJ who came! Boo :(
Ok that summed it up


I was watching Criminal Minds and the villain had a disorder about obsessing over a girl who gave him glances, gestures, hints. Just sayin~


I do not crawl back into my cave. No. None of us live in caves. We live in castles and citadels, things we built ourselves. Filled with things we treasure and our music pervading the halls, filling the chambers of empty spaces to fill with more. Light spews in through the stained windows rising above the throne room, and I sit there, contemplating. 

Got to let Jesus take the seat


Don't. Rush. Things

I just came to say hello

My brother used to blast this song while he was still in Singapore for Summer

Eh wt fuck. Blogger deleted my whole post because apparently I logged in somewhere else.

Saturday, 5 November 2011

A Year

There's so many things to post about these few days. Where do I begin? What do I title it? The strange moments when I'm blessed with both time and thought. Thank you God.


So be it physical tiredness, mental exhaustion or social weariness, I step back a little. I flip the switch from proactive to reactive. That's enough for me. Time to reconsolidate my life.


Vengeance, laziness, judgement. Let there be none.


One of my friends just used my other friends phone to mess with me. You know, the usual display-affection-all-of-a-sudden. Usually its sending something really outrageous that has to do with... coitus but this one was not, and was a constant stream of mushy messages and replies that couples send each other. Knew in my head it was just a prank (I mean, duh. No one sane would send me that for real) but that's not the point. The point is that, sometimes. I just wish someone would actually send me things like that. And it was fantastic to just pretend in that moment like I had a chance with anyone. Don't we all feel the same need to be wanted? The point is that I'm still, despite the mannerisms and the restraint, a hopeless romantic. But no I will not fall easily as the last time.


Mr Low is leaving VS. A bunch of us Rafflesian Victorians went back to give him a card from all of us and just pay him a visit before he leaves I guess. He was really open with us and talked to us on a very matured level about the school, new IP track, discipline, etc. It was just awesome to put it in youth lingo terms. To put it in my terms, it was real, sincere, meaningful, insightful. A bittersweet visit, I sensed that he was really touched. So were we hearing him speak and reconfirming our trust, our respect, our admiration for this great leader. So long.


Can you sense me? Can you feel me? Can you ever know the experience, the sleepless nights, the considerations that I go through into my views, my attitude, my actions? But let me not forget that every fellow person has done the same.


Jesus is Lord and Saviour.


Singapore experiences no physical winter, but at times, a spiritual winter happens. During the holidays, when school's off, and there's no clear direction, and appointed time to meet your friends in some ways, life becomes a daze. A contemplation and a stupor as I go through each day. Achieving nearly nothing but learning everything. Omg Jaren you're right my writing has become really obscure.


I have Scrabble on my family's iPad. There is reason to live yet.


A year on and what have you done? A step closer to adulthood and where has your life taken you?


Eragon (& sequels)
Chronicles of Narnia (& sequels)
Mere Christianity (& equivalents)
Rock Band 3 (& RHCP online package)
Sim City 4 (& Expansion)
Total War (Napolean and others)
Civilization V
Friends :x
New Tripod, Flash Gun
All Coldplay Albums, misc. other songs.


You can't sustain a post over a few days

Wednesday, 2 November 2011

84CK 2 SQU4R3 1

Such an amalgamation of emotions. Does a dearth of sleep cause or reveal them?


H1MT. Is over. Chinese culture, is far from it. Despite that I don't plan to take it in the future, I plan, to never let go of my roots. Especially if I manage to study overseas.


This omnibus one post many segments broken by dotted lines thing, came from nowhere, and now pervades my posts. This is a small analogy to how I direct my life sometimes. Did you know? The decision making part of your brain, is actually, in the inner-most layer, the feelings, the emotions, the guts, the irrational. Yup. Pragmatic decisions? Get real, people follow a leader for his inspiration and not his structured arguments. Granted, they do matter, but for me, I believe in spontaneity at its core. And the ability, the necessity, to just try things, based on gut feelings and instincts and intuition, stumbling is natural. But sometimes, it just makes life that much more worth living, exciting, and new. Do you really need a reason, for every single thing? Must every idea, or ideal be torn apart, based on past failure? Based on practicality?


I'm back, in my cave. Going to need a new tripod and external flash for the darkness. (No I'm serious, I'm getting both of em soon.)


You think I do not have my doubts? Of course not. But what are doubts to miracles and wisdom?


Marcus was tired of chinese text, so I had not choice but to post. He kidnapped my family you see. Also AOE3 at Zaki's house with him (and Zaki, obviously) was extremely, simply, just fun. :) I'd prefer it to LAN shops anyway. But no time to rant about those dark, loud, profanity-ridden places. Oh wait.


This is not boasting, but what a cruel fate that I love the humanities, and I think more than the sciences, yet find myself only excelling in the latter? People ask me for grades, I tell them. Then they triumphantly exclaim: "AHA so the A is GP or Economics right?" The Jeopardy buzzer sounds and 我怯声怯气地回答: No its Mathematics. (I need not continue to mention their utter astonishment when my only B is not GP or Economics, but Physics) The alarm on their face bespeaks the painful predicament of passion ≠ prominence. And I disappointingly crawl into my little shelter, watching the Chinese Scholars and students from Chinese speaking homes celebrate their As, Bs and Cs.

Yes! Jealousy! What can I say? Do I lie? No. God. Hates. Lying. (But loves the Liars, I do add) And I confess I am sinful, weak and a disappointment.


If the eyes are the window to the heart then lyrics are the words of a song. Anti-climax :P
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.
So get back back back to where we lasted!
So we were an accident, you were my favourite one.
Out on the main streets completing your mission.
Listen to the rhythm of the falling rain, telling me what a fool I've been
Soldiers, you've got to soldier on.
Can you let me try? Tell me its alright! Just for one night! (Yes Jaren, listen to some He is We now haha)
Shoulders toes and knees, I'm 36 degrees
You'll never change what's been and gone


I type this for the first time while on my bed.
I realize these:
1. I am sitting on my bed, with sheets of faint pink.
2. There are numerous soft toys hanging around.
3. I am posting emotionally
I conclude:
I'm a lonely teenage girl. Also my nails are really pretty.
I remark: What the hell.
But then:
I turn and see The Victoria School Flag, given as a graduating gift.
I am currently listening to

(The Two Door Cinema Club song Undercover Martyn covered by Bucket of Six, a resident Rafflesian Rock Band sparked a mini-race car soundtrack phase)
I just did 6 pull-ups
Hence: Gender Stereotype Test Inconclusive.


So you might have noticed I changed the picture, well it was about time and anyway am going to use that picture for a competition so heck just change. And because this photo ain't as nice I decided to change the bottom one too! (Yes the bottom has a picture, it usually is just the last picture at the top but since I'm removing it for competition...) Its just three shots I took in the Physics Lab, during Physics Lab session... and then Adobe Lightroom-ed the hell out of each one bwahahaha.
This is the last one I took.

Friday, 28 October 2011









When you're not on official duty, you're given so much more freedom in Photography. This guitarist is named Wen Wei and his cover of Stereophonics Dakota was BOOMZ. Habitat for Humanity Concert

Thursday, 27 October 2011

Stormy Deepavali

有人告诉我:我读你的博客发现‘Jia Lok’出来好几次。没错!他变成了我的好榜样。当然,这也不说定我应该复印他。

印出来的字这么难看!谁喜欢看这些Pointy pointy piercing 的字呢?为什么没有人创造比较好看,比较容易读的呢?华文Helvetica和Bauhaus93在哪里?这点也一点像第二点。

你们有看过华文报纸吗?例如联合早报。它跟StraitsTimes同样是SPH印的。可是StraitsTimes的照片is like over 9000比早报的照片好得那么多!这是什么意思?!难怪华人被西方世界一直说华人没有美术才能。

华文对我说来,很难。‘nuff said


爸爸的华语不及格,妈妈跟我谈的时总会Point out Every. Single. Bloody. Mistake. 妈妈,这是聊天,不是口试。你的英语也没那么完美。




去开辟天地为我理想去闯 (碧波高涨)

Sunday, 23 October 2011

Insights & Reflections

Why yes, that's what I just finished, but it made a pretty decent title for this wannabe-sociologist post.
Also this post is 2 days late


New Lyrics - Some songs from Habitat for Humanity Concert. Will elaborate next time.
She spoke words that would melt in your hand
Thinkin' thinking bout you... you make me feel like the one!
Dear God, the only thing I ask of you, is to hold her when I'm not around
Take me to the place where you go, where nobody knows, if it's night or day
Who knew the other side of you?


The Yong Xien effect
Yong Xien is a person in my class who on the exterior, has little care for basically anything except self-interest. He also believes, simply, that everyone does the same. i.e. Politicians don't give a damn for people, only their taxes. People like Jia Lok don't give a damn about your feelings, just his fanbase. Sincere people are the most scary to him because they are unpredictable and he is wary of their underlying motives. But this is portion of this post is not aimed at rebutting and spewing anger on him. No, he is neither misguided or should be condemned, God loves all.

This effect is a curious interaction when two feuding parties, or awkward parties (towards each other) find interest in conversation or are suddenly more willing to talk when this third party, a Yong Xien, enters the fray. Perhaps the truth is that because Yong Xien shows a clear, explicit philosophy of life, or his super indifference and social awareness, these two more socially apt, higher EQ participants become more confident, or become aware of their own social prowess, or find this new interesting subject to talk about; a person to target for insults or jokes.

This is the sad part, that two actually like-minded, or similarly characterized people, are only united, or willing to talk to someone less social than them, or deemed very different from the world. That talking to Yong Xien is easier than talking to a perfectly matured person because maturity breeds that cynicism and social stay-away.


The Balanced-Imbalance hypothesis
Slightly related to the Yong Xien effect, this is somewhat of a multi-party vs bilateral-party social phenomenon. I postulate that when attempting to approach a person, it is easier to proactively start the conversation, or sit with the person, when you have a buddy with you. Not really a wingman thing, but building on instances when one to one talking, which is hell more intimate, is more difficult to start. It takes a whole load of courage especially when starting a convo with a person you don't talk with very often. But not only that, many might say this third party would intimidate the reacting person (i.e the person you want to talk to). I contend that unless the two have not met (and sometimes even if they do), it is actually more comfortable for him/her. Hence the name, balanced-imbalance. That somehow, 2 against/approaching 1 is more stable a social interaction then 1 on 1.


Passive-Aggressive theoretical approach
I am too aggressive. They tell you to speak with conviction. It doesn't work if the audience ain't willing to listen, more a model for speaking to an apathetic audience. Hence, I crawl back into my cave while I wait for the fires outside to subside. Strong winds merely fan the flames.


Socio-Telepathic Sonority
Ben accidently mentioned he-who-shall-not-be-named-in-front-of-her... in front of her. Me and Jia Lok met with a fleeting glanced and sniggered uncontrollably. Benedict WOOPS Kah Leong.


Status Worthy
You say your goodbyes, you promise the next meet-up. You step out from or into, the bus, the train, the room. You step out of sight, you step into your solitude. And it is this quiet in your mind, and the softness of your surroundings that lulls your conscience out of slumber. It is in these moments of lonesome travel and contemplation, that you truly begin your own journey of the soul.


Its a little late. But intro-ed from Rifdi

Tuesday, 18 October 2011

When dy/dx=0

Hate the sin, love the sinner.
Do not judge.
I was hopeful. I still am.

My friends it has come to a point where there is only forward.
People in the class tell me "it can't be solved", "you're too idealistic Li Keen".
Here's what I think. The truly idealistic will always keep to their core beliefs to a worthy cause, and it will become realistic.

The unraveling of minds, the outspoken-ness of participants in the class is a very good thing.
In my opinion, this situation is akin to a Cold War, no communication makes it worse. You say avoid the problem, I say detenté and brinksmanship.
This is how they glorify war. That one camp is full of bastards, we're the heroes. The consequences - devastation that no knows boundaries. We need to learn to listen. That there are always detractors, faults on both sides. But will you engage the the Burmese dictators in that slim margin of Democratization, or refuse completely, and impose sanctions on them, condemning their actions. Let me tell you that first and foremost it is in my religion to never condemn the sinner. Hate the sin, love the sinner.
Tomorrow I might go to class persecuted. For I have spilled the beans on many people. I have possibly damaged reputations. But this is inexcusable, unsustainable. I cannot take it. If I am not changing this I am not a part of this.

Dammit. I'm so tired. What do I do, what the hell am I supposed to do.


I want to play a quiet game of scrabble.


Sunday, 16 October 2011

A very strange double post

I cried during Real Steel, or more correctly, teared.
So is that weird. Is it weird for a guy to cry. Is it weird that I'm sensitive? Is it weird that I'm human? Is it gay? Hell no. So you tease me when I'm open with you. Oh well. I'm over-analyzing. Or rather, I'm just afraid. Hmm perhaps I'm a little girly. Ok very. Oh shit. *drinks beer and attempts to be stereotypical*


Perhaps some people are frightened of being real.
They should blog.


I was wandering J8 and came back to where I started, thinking about where to go next.
At that exact moment, "Speed of Sound" by Coldplay was playing, and it went "Where to? Where do I go?" Troll God is super funny. Love you God

More Lyrics
I can't do this all on my own, no I know, I'm no superman.
Hey, make your way to me, and I'll always be just so inviting.
For greater things have yet to come and greater things are still to be done in this city!
I may not make it through the night, I won't go home without you.
Wind me up, put me down, start me off and watch me go.
Don't look at me that way, it was an honest mistake


I was out with some awesome VS peeps at Parkway and couldn't help but feel really existential. Like, why am I random-ing around a first world shopping mall. I really really want to do something with me life. Feeling really empty. No doubt it is the good life, no doubt going out with friends is awesome. But there is an inner longing to make more of my life than it already is. To just go out into the world.


Real Steel was a good show.
I have a thing for personification of inanimate objects that have meaning to me. And that Stephen Spielberg magic of cross-species (ET)/robot-human (Artificial Intelligence) relationships is still really awesome. As in this show, it was more a side theme, I felt it was executed really nicely as it wasn't overcooked and left to what the message is: Mysterious. Nope, no fancy discovery that some robot actually had AI, just left that curious tinge of intimacy between a boy and a programmed machine with a soul that the humans gave it. Of course, perhaps most people would focus on the main theme of father-son relationship. But the robot-human relation was heartwarming as it went back to the old style, 'find some old generation, raw form of machinery that turns out to have that human element that destroys all the modifications the other robots have'. Ya know, cliché stuff. But it was still something that tugs at me.

Granted, I did not exactly know what to expect from the film. Many reviewers on IMDb (checked after watching the show) said they were 'pleasantly surprised', and come to think of it, I guess I was to. Been a while since I saw a movie with good characterization. And of course, it was not uncommon to see sentiments of 'jumping on to the transformers bandwagon'. Indeed, the action was not overdone and it was clear the film was not a cheesy action-violence-sex-drugs nonsense. Definitely a very American film but may I say it a more wholesome one.

Plot was done at a very nice and progressive pace that didn't jump right in or take off too fast with several complications arising even towards the end of the film. And another thing I liked - no cheating. That's right, none of that spastic 'losers cheating' shit that usually comes with these sort of underground/glamorous fighting competition nonsense. Though if I would point one flaw I would say they tried to expand a side romance thing (probably as a staple.) that didn't sit it too nicely with many other themes going on. Undercooked and not very well done. Still. Everything else was quite a pleasant surprise. One way we could tell was that most of me and Amanda's plot predictions didn't come out, which meant that indeed, not very predictable and quite fresh.

Heard they were going to make a sequel. Oh shit please dont. Unless its really good. They're so going to ruin it. If they actually make a decent sequel that could match this one...


I want the richness of living
The fulfillment of giving
The peace of companionship
And a sincere reality

Good music good life

Friday, 14 October 2011


One of the times when I'm unable to articulate precisely is when I'm talking to Jia Lok about clichés and non-conformism.

Do you really think I'm like those idiots who just rebel for the sake of rebelling? Or trying be step or something? I mean seriously no. Hell no. Urgh haven't been infuriated for no reason like that for a while. Not like he was directly attacking me.

This is a problem I have. Sometimes I disagree with people I respect, and its pretty hard to reconcile that, because usually my mindset is to emulate and be more like these people. OK actually person. Like Jia Lok. You know what, I should just read scripture and figure this out. Just be like Jesus. Yup, so much better now.

The truth is this, I get excited in finding the subtle. I relish the joy of discovering those hidden gems. A profound interest and dedication to new and radical ideas with strong grounds for them. And really, I don't believe what they say about me, this has nothing to do with trying to be extra or anything.
I. Just. Like. To. Appreciate. Things. People. Neglect.

Which is why I tend to focus more on the non-clichés. And perhaps a nasty side-effect is that I get annoyed if people focus too much on the clichés, overuse them, dilute their purpose, their meaning. Just say without learning.


The three ways of livin'
Angst or
Get a GF or
Surrender to Jesus

Gotta keep workin' on the latter.


And I am different. I have wild blood in me, the stuff I got from my elder brother or parents probably. I'm not a lousier copy, a diminished xerox or people like Jia Lok. But I'm not totally wild either. In fact, its just a mild thing that I appreciate having fun. Ah what am I saying. Just forget it, I don't think many people understand me except God. *Angsty teenager*


I never ever owned the game, but my elder brother's friend Samuel used to drop by and play it. I didn't really understand nor appreciate the music at the time, but sourcing for soundtrack music I found this and acquired a hearing for it. And this is one of those non-conformist music taste FYI.

Thursday, 13 October 2011


This pair of spectacles is a curious thing. Obviously it changes my appearance, but more than that. I believe that glasses absorb energy from a person, or more accurately, keeps it inside. I think that perhaps the character Cyclops from X-Men is actually symbolic of this. That somehow, this vizier, this frame, keeps our emotions inside, it seals the human expression in.

When a romantic moment arises, when you're engulfed in pure emotion, when you stare down a person intensely and with fiery passion (again romance), taking the specs off makes it all the more real.
Let's look at other examples.

In popular culture
With specs -> Clark Kent the Geek. Without specs -> Superman

In my life
With specs -> Calm and collected Choir Chairman Myo. Without specs -> Angry, disappointed, pump choir Myo

With specs -> Graphic Designer. WIthout specs -> Fine Artist
Just sayin~

Visually, a person changes from passionate to intelligible. From a heart to a head person. The facial expression is restraint, the person cold and calculative. A cool demeanor from a warm and raw individual. That's right, spectacles take away that individualism. I was joking with some of my classmates...
*Puts specs on* "Hi I'm a student from Singapore who studies quite a lot"
Or this
*Put specs on* "Nerd"
*Takes specs off* "LI KEEN"
*Repeat cycle in quick succession*
Garnered a whole lot of laughter :D. But really the point is this, spectacles keep. Me. In. Check. Freedom of vision is a wonderful thing that kids need to cherish.


Ellis Island, New York.
Why did that whole bunch of fellow US peeps stop talking to me?

Tuesday, 11 October 2011


If relationships were like making a bridge.
There is no instant connection.
There are dangers to overcome, a fast flowing stream that can sweep the builders away as they are enticed by the water or make a careless step.
Perhaps moving forward too quickly without making a solid foundation first.
And the closer you are to finishing, the more likely perhaps, that the other builder will be able to rescue you from the water, but it must be done together, and you must have been worth something.
More resources are wasted the longer you build.
You'll never see the other builder, in his or her entirety, but the closer you get to finishing, the clearer the builder becomes.
Constant communication has to be done to keep the builders working together from two sides of the ravine.
What is the keystone?


My nose bridge is itchy.
I just got spectacles... Another milestone in age and change.


I haven't played bridge in a while. Miss 4D


I did not finish reading Bridge to Terabithia. I want some Fiction back...


Why is the command center of a ship called the Bridge? Because it is the connection to the port and other ships?


God answered an indirect and completely unannounced wish. Apparently a fellow RJ photographer lives in the condo opposite my house. Sounds like a perfect setting for best friend right? But we must bridge the gap first. Jesus is the bridge to salvation.


More Lyrics from the Heart
Like a bridge over troubled water, I will lay me down
If everything could ever be this real forever, if anything could ever be this good again
I dreamed I was missing, you were so scared...
In my place, in my place, were lines that I couldn't change
I'm really bored its getting late, what happened to my Saturday... sitting on the bed alone, staring at the phone.
Why do we like, to hurt so much?


OP. Need to bridge the team together.


A lamp installed on/in Anderson Bridge

Monday, 10 October 2011


Our brains, they compress memories. As they go further back in time, imagery is overlaid, sounds overlapped, feelings overwhelm.


I returned to VS again, fully aware of my tiredness. My weariness. My emotions. I did not feel a thing walking into the foyer except for relief. A quiet joy. A numbed glee.


The school watched them grow. Guess what, I watched you guys grow too. And I'm so proud, happy and sad. From a participant to a spectator. I feel the weight of things that lie on your shoulders as you step out from VS the final time - not now, but when it comes.


It is not without some pain that I feel disembodied from the school now, just a year ahead. What Jia Lok wrote on FB reflected my sentiments too.
"I always wondered what I have given back to VS. 
And just yesterday, I realised it was that insignificant. 
Because whatever we, as Victorians, have given back to the school, they will pass away. People come and go. Four years down the road when we return Home, no junior is going to recognise us; we probably won't even see a trace of footprints we left behind. 
But what VS has given to us - the values, the friendships, the memories - they will last. for a lifetime. And our job is to live by them, striving for the best in our lives wherever we go, whenever we can. "


After feeling, a wellspring of emotions leaving VS, I headed to VJC for the LSD art exhibition, albeit very late. Still my awesome bros (bin rosly) welcomed me with a cheery Honky accent which I gladly reciprocate because we just get high like that. Met famous Nanyang artist Liu Kang shortly after and there began my slow decent into madness fast accent into spastic AEP mode.

The exhibition was undoubtedly not worth my elitist time nice. The miniature work was ironically epic, the lofty dandelion seeds work was ironically solid, and well basically the world of art never fails to bullshit capture my imagination. The artists are really skillful and awesome peeps, happy that Sanchez found another awesome group of friends outside AEP ^^.

We had dinner after, where jokes about Song Yu continued to pervade and generic nonsense was spouted. (Seriously how did they name strawberries)


I like to relate the entirety of my post to the title, no matter how irrelevant it seems sometimes.


Short-lived. Quickly passing.


The Photographer
Zealot of meticulous literature, a crafter wielding refracting tools.
With sight extending beyond peripheral majesty, the interpreter for the Earth's language of beauty.
The eyes no longer a cold tunnel to the brain but a crenellation embellishing the heart's palace.
No less the artistic documenter, no less the ordinary individual with extraordinary vision and precision.

Airforce Memorial, Washington D.C


I have more to blog about. But I have more to do. God, help me. But also, help everyone else.


This post is a few days late. And if you count from the actual first post (meant for a secondary 1 assignment on blogging), it's actually, the 300th post of this blog. 300. THIS IS SPARTA.


I'm a social butterfly, so there.


Storm. Troopers
Two days ago, due to the fairly early ending of my PW meeting in school, I was left with an empty afternoon waiting for a night out with VS buds later.

Hence, being the insecure Singaporean teenager who must be productive at all costs, I deliberated on the way back alone how I should spend my time.
Sleep. Tired of sleeping
Emo and blog. Later
Do assorted things at home. WASTE TIME.
Do photography. OK fine.
Where though? I had many ideas back then. It wasn't a pleasant idea to travel far out . OK somewhere in the East. Err. That rain tree I never took in Paya Lebar? Meh, that's only one spot. LABRADOR PARK. What the hell I said East. Hmm. Hmm. BEDOK RESERVOIR.

So I returned home purposely, showered and got my gear together, which took an abnormal amount of time because I had to change into something that suited photography at a reservoir AND a formal occasion (Grad Night) later.

Three things I thought of but did not bring: Umbrella, Cap, Tripod. Woe is me.

As soon as I stepped out of the bus. BOOM. Rain. There you have it, best outing ever. Wearing nice fairly new canvas shoes with jeans, camera equipment, no cap, no umbrella. And wow, it ain't like MacRitchie with wood platforms. Its SAND. Porous silicon dioxide that stores pools of muddy water.

And I was alone. I mean what do you expect from a spontaneous photography outing in the east of all places. Rifdi, preparing for LSD art exhibition. Husain, training. Marcus, rotting in Nanyang. Clarissa, PW. Even asked some non-easterners that I met in school. Songyuan, not free. Daru lent camera away. An hour earlier. WAIT WHY DIDNT I ASK ZENIA? Oh shit nevermind. Let's just go with, there's an unwritten rule that its quite weird to ask a girl out one on one unless she's your GF or consistent good friend. (hey they're both GFs!) Yupz. OK moving on :)

So there I was, caught in the rain (which became so heavy I took shelter in a toilet with sandy shoes). Having all these negative thoughts.

Then the rain subsided after 10 minutes and I walked out, feeling weird. I told myself I should stop complaining. I'm not alone, God is with me. In me. In fact just today at church there was a profound message that's relevant as I look back.

Give thanks in all circumstance.

Not just positive, negative, but whatever circumstance.

So I said. God took away my cap, my umbrella, and my sheltered feet so that I may experience the fullness of the blessed rain on a sunny day. And so I exited the toilet as the heavy pour became a drizzle, placing my lens hood on to give my camera some form of moisture protection. Hmm, haven't named it yet. I shall call it Daphne :) Daph90. D90. Lovely name. And it has to do with Greek Mythology! Yay.

It was not surprising that my photos sucked.
1. I'm noob.
2. Uninspiring afternoon lighting
3. Only had a chance to explore un-interesting parts of the reservoir.
4. Stormy skies = dullness everywhere.

Then I thought. Well. I suppose. When all your photos suck and are dull, might as well make it a black and white series. Lol.

Was going to post a dozen pictures here, then realized. WTFISH AM I DOING? OK. Chance to use Picasa Web Albums slideshow gadget. The photos are on the right called Bedok in Black. Not all are B&W. A sparse number of colored photos are added in the mix as they look better in color. (Edit: I tried using the gadget and its freaking difficult to use so I'll just embed here.)


So after that short excursion, it was time to head back to VS for Grad Night (and later to VJ for the LSD art exhibition) and dare I say it its 1AM so I need to sleep. Till next time.

Saturday, 8 October 2011

Want to post, need to rush

Is it a wonder that studying for Promos seemed at a less hectic pace than after? That we wanted to sleep during Promos but now we absolutely don't? So many things I need to do. And I still owe Sherly a Sherbet.


Wednesday, 5 October 2011

Unlocking the Secrets to Lameness: Requested by jaren

Indeed. I could have blogged about other things, but since I'm just spontaneous like that and Jaren suggested it, let's share some secrets to lameness!
Lameness and the pre-requisites.
Let's first define lameness as the state of mind achieved or activated by an individual that translates into getting physically abused or ._. expressions from surrounding homo sapiens.
Anyone can be lame in theory, but not everyone gets injured that easily makes the cut off their leg.
IMO, there are two things one needs to have for one to be lame.

That's right, you need to be paying attention. Paying attention to what your friend just said, something off about that facebook comments' sentence structure, something ironic in that picture.

2. Bravery
It takes guts to be an asshole. It takes guts to risk awkward stares and having no friends. It takes guts to be an idiot and pull it off. You need joker gas genes.

These are the two things that are more difficult to train and hence are pre-requisites.
Here are the skills I think one needs to acquire and hone.

3. Quick Connections 150mbps
Wait too long and the joke turns sour. An individual must be able to make quick connections, flip perspectives, notice pun-ishable moments. Be the first.

4. Stimulus and expansion
Very related to quick connections, but while that's about speed, this is about width. The scope of one's vocabulary and the ability to link several words all at once is a must.

5. Execution
About how you tell the joke, more later.

Now for some guidelines and tips.

Some common forms of lameness will be
Purposeful misunderstanding (Especially in serious situations). Usually involves acting dumb. A common form of bastard-ing people who seem depressed over something. Effective for laid back people or bastards (who don't usually take well to other lame jokes)
Puns. A play on words to invoke comedy. Must be voiced out and executed with degree of obvious-ness to work. More effective when specific to current trend (Bhagi did it after a Chem exam)
Switch-a-roo - Shifting words and phrases
Whimsical mindset - Going against conventional wisdom, and misleading the audience into thinking a certain way before bombarding them with a retarded answer or outcome. Another example is on Jaren's tumblr about a person 'going to jail'
Series - Similar lame jokes grouped together to augment the effect of the "facepalm" or to mislead the receiver into a lame trap at the end. Link to my occupation jokes (expanded from those from general knowledge) http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=10150098009139692

(For more references, try explosm.net, hejibits.com or buttersafe.com)

Post-joke phase
Its important to give a retarded reaction to lame jokes depending on the type and lame-ness. Generally 'cooler' people might choose to say the kind of (racist) Malay 'che' after each joke, lean back a little and give an epic drowsy smile. Others might choose to chuckle or whatever! Really, it depends on what kind of person you are. Just like executing any joke, delivery is very important. Special case: Marcus Liu ends lame jokes with 'nuuuuu' or starts pointing his fingers up and down at the victim ('like shooting with fingers') while leaning back and smiling or giving a sly expression.

Intellectual prediction
You need to know your audience, how well you think they'd understand the joke, how many clues you give them if it was a riddle, etc when you formulate jokes. This is a given, but many people don't imagine the reactions, are overly pessimistic or overly optimistic. Be tactful and don't downplay the joke too much, people are pretty smart. This will also affect the post-joke phase you should look for.

There isn't anything stopping you from reciting jokes you found online or in a book! Honestly! But coming up with your own to supplement them is always way more awesome! :) Singaporean Context is one of the ways you can be different from the global lame community

This may sound really serious for joking, but truth is some people are not natural jokers, and even stand-up comedians practice and know how they look on stage! Was quite fun writing this though its not complete!


Really enjoy it when the band tries to inject some hipness into their performances! Its important not to distance yourself from the crowd when doing performance art! Yes, always have the traditional pieces, the sophisticated music, definitely, but some of the best groups appease the audience especially.

Tuesday, 4 October 2011

Jokes Aside

You say goodbye, and I say hello. ~Hello Goodbye: The Beatles

We tackled the arduous
We faced the tumultuous
Now celebrate the accomplishment,
but I do not partake
because climbing every mountain and fording every stream,
I breathed in every moment (with you)
And I didn't want it to end after all

If you didn't notice, the flavicon was changed some time ago, here's the blown up version. A-Cute Geometry. Its this cartoon character I drew randomly and has stuck since. This was done quickly in PsD, its definitely lost some good 'ol sketch charms because of the graphics, but at least its mine :)


The post of which the title refers to begins proper
Bryan said it quite right, that every joke has an underlying truth.
I make a lot of angst-jokes.
Indeed, but I'd rather you not bother about my personal convictions and emotions too much because I can handle it, really. Or more appropriately, God can handle it :)
Of course, sometimes it is just a little hint at my inner thoughts but putting it in joke form will make it more entertaining, and less serious, because I don't want to be a killjoy! A light-hearted satire at the troubles of this world is a form of dealing with 'em friends! :)

What in God's name am I talking about? Two recent examples! (ew I hate analyzing jokes, always almost certainly ruins them! Especially because I have been talking so sophisticatedly urgh! ><)
1. I joked about having no purpose in life after Promos to Clare
Well the fact is that usually after some huge event, I slip into a weird limbo-tic phase of directionless-ness and generally no sense of detailed planning. So the thing is, after a major examination, everyday becomes a complexity of what to accomplish! \ö/

2. 'People only seem to want to hang out with me right before Promos to study' xD to a bunch of peeps
(a sub-category of l 'I have no friends') Well to some extent, I didn't really have groups of friends that I regularly go out with (which I kind of feel a lot of people have) so yeah. I probably had some people I could just initiate with but it wasn't really straight-forward :/

(I'm going to sleep now, continue next morning)


(Continued from yesterday/today morning)
In a different but not unrelated portion, yesterday was a nightmarish end to the Chemistry paper. Well yes I screwed up quite badly.

But also, a not-so-good teacher attempted to challenge a hall full of Testosterone-Crazed young adults?? Mistake. You know the old-school 'keep quiet or I'll make you stay back 5 minutes' Well obviously, being brilliant and extremely respectful students (I don't want to use Rafflesians because these people are not true Rafflesians), they continued the chatter. So the teacher made everyone stay. Indeed, he was a Chief Presiding Examiner in other schools and oh mannn why did he have to say that at touch the students' nerves?

So in the 10 minutes of agony I could only hope against hope everyone had SOME FORM OF DECENCY. (Oh man you should have seen how many times I swore yesterday :/) But no. Apparently,  10 minutes staying silent is more excruciating than having just sat through 15 hours of examinations, which by the way, was done in silence.

And so, 3 people had to be Ahem. No more swearing. The first started clapping as the teacher lectured us. The second shouted "YES" to a rhetorical question. The third started arguing about the system across the hall with the teacher. But no, the issue is more complex than this. The first person was actually my good friend, whom btw reads my blog and comments on the CBoX. Let there be no ill feelings. No, I was just in plain shock knowing he did it. Perhaps he thought the teacher was abusing his power and being arrogant (ya 'know, since he's a "Dr. Chan" and all with a PhD and all) which I might agree to some extent.

But you know. Sometimes. We aren't correct.

Mega-stereotype. Uncalled for. But it was funny :D
So for whatever reason those people acted up, and the fact that most in the hall supported them instead of the teacher, well I have nothing to say. Except that Singapore is possibly screwed.
Indeed, I do not think it is funny at all. Sure the teacher was being unreasonable, but perhaps he's had it rough from the boss, and you have to make his day worse. How rough was your day may I ask? Of course, mugging hard I see. Yes, so stressful, no time to study. All those time pon lecture, sleeping in class, heck caring the teacher sure was fruitful right? Yeah and today so hot alsoooo want to go out, how could you ask me to wait 10 minutes sitting down in an air-conditioned hall with tables and a warm jacket?

People say I keep talking about how awesome VS was. Well truth is. IT WAS AWESOME. Because however crazy the students can sometimes get, the atmosphere was always of moral standards, be it displayed from teacher or by principal. And definitely there were jokers, but even they had limits. I really thank choir for making me a team player and not a bitch who thinks he's better than the rest. Especially Clement. Really.

I think its OK to say it now, but back then I was fucking arrogant. And during choir when Clement was pumping the section he went 'all those who deserve to be pumped knock it down now'. So everyone did, except me. He later told me things I won't ever forget. He said he agreed that I didn't deserve it, he even acknowledged that I was probably the best Soprano then, but no this is not how we roll. Its all for one and one for all in a choir. And there are things we can learn from each other.

That hit home. Right into my heart. Humility, and team spirit. If you want to be a joker, for whatever reason, attract attention or because you really feel injustice here, go ahead I guess. I'll only pray for your sake.


I want Rockband 3. Just for Red Hot Chili Peppers Expansion.


After the exams I had to go for a compulsory Chinese Learning Journey of sorts (which some of my good samaritan classmates conveniently ponned anyway) which turned out to be really awesome. And it was topped off with bowling, tea and rockband + mahjong at my house with some awesome classmates. A lot of laughter and HTHT and actual class unity for once. Well, 25% of it. I just pray that the rifts in our class will close, the good people stop harbouring negativity, let it find new shores, and that God will perform his greatest miracle, to change the hearts of the most sinful.


Thanks Husain, this is brilliance!

Sunday, 2 October 2011

The end of another stage

Life happens in stages.
And as we accelerate into JC, the periods of these stages decrease to phases.
And another phase. Has gone.
Scientists are now anxiously awaiting their new find: something that might travel faster than light, and hence, possibly back in time. Neutrinos.
But right now, the discomfort is of this life of fast-paced phases and moments. And one of them, is about to end.
The last promo paper tomorrow. And hooray right?
But imagine taking an elevator with a stranger and getting to know the person. OK maybe a plane ride is more suitable. For those few hours, you make nice conversation with this lovely stranger and share stories, dreams, drinks maybe.
The romantic novelist or hollywood producer would have these two strangers meet again and not surprisingly, fall deeply in love.
But no, in real life, it is more than likely you will part, and that's it.
No exchange of follow-ups, no contact details.
This person, became a part of your life for those few hours, and the next moment is a passing memory. A fleeting, wonderful, intimate experience with a stranger, whom you could talk to about anything! Because you know you're never going to meet the person again.
And sometimes JC is just like that.
I meet this new person, maybe from a mutual friend, maybe just lending the person fulscap, or playing a short round of frisbee. And when that stage ends, that's it. Goodbye.
How sad! : /
That people play no less than a thread in your blanket of experience. A molecule in a mole (tomorrow is chemistry)
Some people say that is the beauty of Facebook right! Indeed, I feel that its really cool you can randomly chat someone up like that.
Others point to family. But not everyone has it the same, and ever so often, parents will guide their children, chauffeur, yet not knowing even what subjects you take.
Nowadays, those people I meet in JC, become a waver, a person you see walking to another class, and pass a friendly acknowledgement. Sometimes stopping to ask about promos, which I feel is really nice. This is not emo and lonely but an observation! That we live on a lonely planet until we find someone...

And so ends the phase of studying with two specific groups of people. Clare and her class (Mostly Fei, Fung & Shawn) Hai Qing & gang (Amanda & Ben (Stella)). And I just lament, that if after these examinations we separate, that I did not get the chance to know everyone better under different circumstances. That our conversations didn't just revolve around orbital hybridization and the occasional non-academic part of life, but went into deeper levels of friendship and communication. What will it take to bring all these acquaintances to friends? For starters, will try and exchange contact details more. Facebook! I will make it a point to re-connect with all of em after promos or something.

Oh man. My writing has become really incoherent, over-poetic/biblical english, etc.


I am an impressionist.
Unfortunately, not the skillful artist but the showboating type.
Sometimes, I just instinctively, show off. Yeah I admit it. In those darkest instances I decide that perhaps to control my attention seeking-ness (or trying to impress someone you're fond of) I should just, leave. Leave the room full of people who judge. Leave the canteen full of people who watch. Just leave the crowd and enter the realm of God.
But it is not that simple. Sometimes its all in the name of good fun, and celebrating each other's skill and talents, and we must be happy and not condemn them. Sometimes I just do things for fun, gaining recognition is secondary.
Hence, we must always try to humble ourselves.


A good friend took a great leap forward. I ponder if I should take one too.


Posted on facebook too
We must look for the life lessons in the trivial. Just as in an exothermic reaction, we need to summon up that surge of activation energy before things become more stable in the long run. And sometimes, our efforts aren't effective. Jiayou people.



Freak out let it go

Let me tell you something about teasing.

I don't really like it.

I've grown more accustomed definitely! And so too has my pleasure in dishing out some bastard remarks from time to time.

But that's just it. Time to time. Not instigation.

Fact. That's bullying my friends.

Hence I didn't like it when the choir peeps kept teasing Yao Sheng. I just think, limits people. Its OK once doesn't mean its OK the next n->∞ times.

But never mind that, today towards the end of mugging fiesta I went a little angsty after some continuous stream of teasing from my friends.

Let's just say this is why I don't partake particularly in the onslaught of rumours and couples kind of thing, because I think that some of them, really, seriously, have thought about relationships and all that. And they don't want to be bothered by it, just stay friends and all that, at their own pace, but their friends just keep bloody reminding them of latent feelings, which isn't cool people. And people. I'm using that word all of a sudden. Reminds me of Eugene Hsu.

And in the end, perhaps the outburst was a reminder that I have a deeper, truer self. And the music and watching Ted Talks on the way home reminded me. That, you know, I can get high, and yeah I love having fun like that. But yeah guess what, maybe people just aren't always like that yeah? Mm correct, and maybe I'm just looking for ways to start connecting on deeper levels.

I'm not making much sense I realized, its pretty confusing to skirt around issues.

I bet you're confused. So am I. What the hell just happened.

Forget it, let's just sum it up in more lyrical therapy.
Oh love, don't let me go! Won't you take me where the street lights go?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on...
By the way i tried to say I'd be there
I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies
Know your head is spinning, broken hearts will mend
Holding on to what I haven't got!
I'd never sing of love, if it does not exist, but darling you are the only exception
Hey Jude, don't be afraid, you were made to, go out and get her!


If I knew, if you knew. Wouldn't it just be easier if everyone was honest? But it would just hurt too much wouldn't it.
Say that you'll stay! After singing in mixed voice for almost a year after I couldn't get into choir I can hit these sort of notes! :)