First world problems

No TV no internet no family at home. What. I dont even think the DS, iPad and Daph90 are at home. All i have is a phone, aoe and coffee. Hope there's an issue of TIME and Economist this week

Argo Alone

Went to watch a movie by myself yesterday for the first time. A lot of people place unnecessary drama on the fact that you do things alone, like for example if you eat lunch alone in a food court. But not many think about the fact that we spend a lot of time by ourselves at home too. No difference then, just enjoy yourself no?

Was definitely a good film (if rotten tomatoes can give 95% for any film, definitely worth a watch). Do agree there's a little bias in nationalities here and there, but forgive-able I guess. Compare it to 300 (or even AC3, where I can tell you I've killed more British regulars than Leonidas has killed Persians) and you can see why. These sort of films will always find criticism in such areas.

Many people also dramatize the fact that I'm entering NS soon. Truth be told I would have probably taken up a holiday job and would have been somewhat busy too (but not stay in camp obviously) or else spend a lot of time on Civ. #woops.

Halo 4 sucks by the way. (except if you have multiplayer) Campaign levels and story was shit, seriously. Anyone who's played that Halo 2 mission where you enter some ruins to kill the Prophet of Regret will know. I think something gravely lacking is the epic music/score in Halo 4. (Heretic, Hero was played on that level) Made even traversing High Charity in super dark settings seeing nothing but rocks and covenant purple relaxing even. (Peril was playing on that level)

Still, despite all the anti-drama. Walking down the streets in Katong and observing the 10 o clock and 12 o clock crowds was definitely emo as hell.

Bus Drivers

I am glad that there are several opinion pieces in the Straits Times about how we need to do 'soul-searching' over the recent SMRT strikes. But I cannot empathize. With the journalist I mean. Call me pretentious or hipster if you like, but I've never seen them differently. Common humanity has always been a strong ideal in my life. From the street sweeper to the CEO of Citibank, I believe that all should be treated with equal respect and dignity. The journalist says that 'we've all been there' when she describes how she abhors foreign workers and ignores them. That just screams auntie to me. I've always smiled at the cleaners in my school, the bus drivers on my way up the bus, I've spoken to strangers on the bus before, and of course to the numerous wise taxi drivers, and many a times given directions as I'm sure anyone would have with a smile. I cannot understand it that after so long, humanity is still climbing out of the dark ages of mindsets and culture. That so many still cling to discrimination and class.

When news broke of the strikes, I was not concerned at the illegality of it. I mean come on, seriously? The fact that there was even a possibility of wage discrimination in such a publicly regulated company disturbed me deeply. Yet the media don't seem to care as much as the poor Chinese workers do they? How can it be that in our 'first-world' transport system and economy, there exists an underbelly, a different society altogether that accepts wages close to the minimum wage in China (but facing the higher cost of living here)? If a country lays claim and ambition to becoming a first-world society, then all who reside should be given equal rights and ownership of public infrastructure.

Dreary Days

Terribly sick and off to Army in 5 days. Loning at home all day and no coffee makes a potent mix of depressants. I definitely need something to do.

News and Views

An unfinished post I might as well post since I'm not going to finish it.
Israel and Hamas
I'm not a H2 History student. But it's really interesting to watch all these events going on.
I say first that I'm not an Israel fan.
Their military is wicked awesome (6 day war anyone?) but their aggression and pandering to the US is very disturbing. I empathize though. Anyone who plays Civ 5 knows how irritating it is to have aggressive allies who don't ever want to co-operate with you and will declare war on the first sign of weakness.
But this mentality has gone too far. I think Palestine should be a free state, yet Israel doesn't look ready to give up land even to peaceful people who don't really like Hamas either. Hamas on the other hand, are being foolish. They cannot hope to win a war I tell you. And being equally aggressive only serves to strengthen Israel's resolve and shun the rest of the world's backing. But it is also understandabe. Most revolutions of secession in the past have been bloody, especially in the face of ruthless government. And if you know the situation of the embargo and military presence, Israel is not being a very nice neighbour.
Israel's search for a so-called "long-term" solution looks increasingly like a ground offensive. Which by many means will be a long-term problem.

The defence minister and the inflammatory comments
No this isn't the f you incident. I'm talking about page 2 of the Straits Times today. Apparently two websites posted baseless allegations of Dr Ng and was then told by Dr Ng's lawyer to remove them and post an apology. Both did so, but because one of the websites allowed comments that criticized both Dr Ng and his lawyer (Mr Singh), Mr Singh wrote to them again and asked them to do a second apology because the first was 'insincere'. I'm conflicted on this. On one hand, I utterly dislike non-fact checking Republicans opposition websites like TR because this so-called usage of  'freedom of speech' is more like an excuse to LIE. It paves the way towards Terry Jones Koran burning style society, and only causes useless unnecessary divisiveness due to politics in our society as a result of wrong information. And we all know what happens when a group of people are washed in wrong information. Brainwash. The obsession of freedom in some Western societies amounts to nothing more than a cult. Think Jim Sleeper calling us sheep and repressed people. Clearly he is 'enlightened' because he lives in America and not third-world society Singapore.

This sort of dangerous thinking if very hard to remove. Because as people get older and drowned in even more misguided views, they become more close-minded and cannot be convinced.

On the other hand, it is also rather disturbing how swiftly (I admit I'm not aware of the contents of the e-mail) came the government response. Right now, the government is relatively free from corruption, clean and efficient. There might be a time when it isn't. Think why we study Venice in Social Studies. What happens when there are real problems with the incumbent and when people voice their dissenting views, the corrupt authorities abuse their power to remove real truths about the government much in the same way?  Hence I remain conflicted. This sort of thing was in my opinion acceptable, even pragmatic, when SG gained independence, especially in a multi-cultural society where one person's stupidity could erupt into open racial conflict. Right now, I just don't know. Perhaps some freedom and trust should be given upon the people to make accurate, critical analysis of information.

Then again, we are talking about human beings in a democracy. Quoting my good friend "One man's stupidity is worth my intelligence"

PSLE
Not sure if not publishing top-scorers is a good idea...
The purpose of it is to celebrate achievers, people who worked hard and should be proud of it.
It is true that more emphasis should be on students who have other gifts or are strong of character. Perhaps then, we should be trying to celebrate them more rather than celebrating less of the academically-inclined. But it is also true that really the problem is cultural. Even if you publish an article of a student with exceptional leadership qualities next to a high-scoring student, doubtless most of the Singaporean public will ignore the former. It is disgusting but cultural is a long-term strength and weakness is most societies. It will take time.

NUS Law

We are young and we are free

Life goes on. Into a different climate.

The Republic(an) of Singapore

A question I asked myself recently was which political parties in Singapore were left-leaning and which were right-leaning.

The straightforward conclusion from what I believe was merely a 5 minute pondering session (which implies that I accept that I'm no expert on the issue) is that the PAP is right-wing, ie the Republicans, and the WP is left-wing, ie the Democrats. (while the rest of the parties are pretty much fringe parties, that fit here and there, and are a little extreme)

This was slightly surprising to me, because I generally support the democrats in America, but the PAP in Singapore (overall to run the country, but if it were my own constituency, I might consider the WP if they field good candidates and the PAP don't. I also believe very strongly that parliament needs more opposition voices), so I wondered if this was a contradiction. (The last political survey http://www.politicalcompass.org/test I took btw, put me very slightly left of center)

But not really, I figured. Because there are very large differences between the Republicans and the PAP.

Firstly is moderation, which the current Grand Old Party (GOP, Republicans) lacks very much with all their tea-partying primaries.

Second is secularism, which yes, the Republicans logically support because they are fervent believers in the constitution. But in practice, it's really a we-are-more-christian-than-the-democrats affair. It bothers me because their political attacks can sometimes include 'Obama is a muslim'. I mean seriously...

Third is well... put it this way: They have extremely stupid members. (Not all, I stress, and it is my hope that they will ultimately restore the party)
I realize this is a rather ad hominen attack. But it's extremely frustrating that that there are people who think abortion, global warming... well yeah you pretty much know the whole story. And these same people. Sit on the committee of science.

I sincerely wish the Republican party somehow reclaims their sanity and open-mindedness, because I'm no great fan of the expenditure-crazy Democrats.

Web Comics

Web comics will erase all your available time for studying.
forlackofabettercomic.com
loadingartist.com
smbc-comics.com
explosm.net
buttersafe.com
thedoghousediaries.com

(gaming)
awkwardzombie.com
rarecandytreatment.com

(currently off)
hejibits.com
player-two.com

Disaster

Well. GP was pretty much the Venetian empire. Looked promising, did well initially. Then... utter annihilation by Napolean, I mean Cambridge.

Actually wasn't their fault. Too little practice on my side with regard to time management.

But as Robert Frost said, 'in three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life. It goes on.' :/
Oh well. There goes the scholarship.

Wandering Wood Final

Then, amazingly clear light breached the thick forest wall of bark - a clearing. And as the traveller approached, his heart raced a natural wonderful excitement. He walked along nearer and nearer... and the undergrowth grew thinner, and the sunlight shown stronger, and the gem on his neck glowed. His obsessive focus on his goal had muffled the background sounds, and now sounds of life pervaded the forest, growing louder as if to cheer him on. 

The traveller blinked and gasped and fell to his knees, a most wonderous sight to be hold. He was standing atop a cliff full of daisies and a vast landscape opened before him. All around him, in the valley below, was more of the magnificent and magical forest. The feeling was momentous, an ending he never sought; a dream-like expense.

And as he slowly took it in and peered around, he caught sight of her sitting idly - on the cliff's edge - and with her slender arms planted behind her, leaning backwards. She had unkempt auburn hair flung down her sides and back, just below her shoulders. She was waiting patiently. The traveller slowly walked over as she turned around at the sound of the traveller's steps.

She smiled and asked 'what took you?' 
'I was in a hurry.' he replied.

The End

What is this life if full of care, we have no time to stand and stare?
-W.H Davies, 'Leisure'

Urgh. Well I sort of lost steam on the way in an effort to finish. :/ Not sure if you can tell.
It was a pretty bad day today. But they are to be expected.

The loss of empathy

There's a speech  by Dr. Richard Teo making rounds on facebook. My reaction to it, after reading it, is not inspiration, but a frown.

I'm strange. I'm different. I know it.

I don't disagree with the speech, in fact I say well done to him. But maybe it's because I'm not considering a medical profession, but I don't have this urge to 'share' it.

Firstly I'm skeptical about what that might achieve in the first place.
What is the purpose of sharing something with a profound message? Perhaps it is three fold; one is to show that you agree with it (maybe to see who else is like-minded as well), two, to 'spread' the message and 'convince' others that it is a good philosophy, and three, to give other people a chance to be 'inspired' by it, as you have. 

To the first, I feel no urgent need to tell people who I am, why should I? I know that its natural, but I don't see the point. In fact, this is the kind of attitude that we've been told not to adopt. The one that seeks approval, seeks recognition, to be extreme. Considering the second, I do not think it'll be of any use. I don't regard my friends as ignorant, I believe that most youth today, and especially my friends, will already know this. Will already know that wealth doesn't bring happiness. (and for the medical part, we need to empathize with patients) And I feel it a little annoying that people have to remind you all the time about things that you know. And all this is compounded by the third purpose. And I think this is where I would diverge from most. 

I don't find it impressive.

You heard me right. I'm the kind of cold-hearted bastard who judges speeches and their clichés. Or at least the kind society makes of. I'm just not, 'inspired' by it. I've heard of this kinds of stories before, the kind where the threat of death invokes great introspection and revelation. In fact I got bored of reading it towards the end.

Don't get me wrong. I re-iterate that I agree with him, and he is a great guy. (after realizing he had cancer, I might add) It's just that well, shouldn't people already know this? Doesn't it frighten you that people have to be stricken by horrible ill before they think about their lives? I don't believe any of my friends need reminding of this, nor reminding that I adhere to it.

I've always knew that I could die, I could get cancer, I could lose someone. Anytime. All the time. It is life.

But I also know this - that in the great cosmos, we are but a speck of dust. I'm not a nihilist, I believe we should all try to forward ourselves and humanity. Make a contribution. And actually, I don't believe in 'achieving happiness' as a philosophy. I just don't think it can be achieved. It can only be realized.

Happiness to me, is a state of mind. It is being contented, regardless the circumstance. It is being exceptionally and weirdly optimistic and humorous all the time. It is the person who is suddenly shipwrecked on an uninhabited island in the middle of the Pacific, and says to himself 'well there goes my wedding anniversary plans' and chuckles to himself. It's not pathetic, it's profoundly courageous. It's not letting circumstance destroy you.

So in that big affairs state of mind, perhaps I have numbed a little to the smaller things. The melodrama, the 'struggles' as many say, the Coldplay.

I respect Dr Richard Teo, and I only wish people wouldn't need such stories from other people's lives, or their own, to realize all these virtues that have been repeatedly drilled into us by teachers and family members. 

The whole thing. My gosh. Manly tears.

Running for my life (and stretching too)

Well NS enlistment came earlier than expected, and comes earlier than expected. But challenge accepted.

It'll clash with both my internship and my family holiday if I don't make it.

Failed sit-and-reach the first time, 2.4 the second. Dang. But we must always try.

Short Story pt4

It's important to have an artistic outlet.

The traveller unveiled his cloak, ready to meet this strange figure in the forest. He too was walking briskly but  was dressed in emerald robes, which were much worn. His wore an expression as battered as his clothing, but with a sense of purpose. Astonished was the traveller, at his remarkable likeness.

Closer he came, but the traveller soon realized he was looking beyond him. His eyes were focused on something so much further that it seemed unfocused up close. The traveller held up his hand to gesture attention, but on he went, unflinching. As he passed the traveller, a mutter was heard 'no time, no time.'

At this the traveller realized his mistake. His ambition was a chore, and his manner anxious. His mood was sour and his feet in a hurry. The traveller decided to sit down. He inhaled the fresh air deeply, and the gem on his neck glowed faintly. He decided this forest was more than an obstacle.

Then he set off again, this time at a more leisurely pace, and stopping to see some strange new species unique to wandering wood. For a long time he went on, but could care less what the time was. He noticed a flower patch in a small clearing where the canopy loosened and light shone on the forest floor. He picked the flowers and wandered when he would finally meet her again... but no rush, no rush. He knew that was what she wanted to travel into these beautiful woods.

End of part 4

I reiterate that the music has nothing to do with the story but its good music regardless.

Farewell

The end of our formal education.

What to feel?
When to feel?

Why feel?

Simple human questions that I suddenly have to ask myself again.

Call it desensitization or whatever, but overtime it's been apparent that I no longer have to state 'emotional' as a weakness. But I don't know, it just doesn't have to be so dramatic ya know? Life, I mean. Not that you shouldn't let yourself feel happy or even sad. Just not to the point of drama. Simple emotions I mean. And no, you don't HAVE to feel sad about leaving, or being alone. It's a choice most of the time, with a little nudge from hormones here and there. Happiness shouldn't be pursued, it should be realized.

Nowadays I feel most when I listen to music. The emo kind. But even then, not the over-dramatic stuff. It weirds me out sometimes to listen to those. It feels artificial to me sometimes. We can be, we are a lot stronger than most of us want to believe, humility aside.

6E is different from 4D. (Barring the obvious differences like gender ratios and alphabets/numbers) But I love them both and I'll miss them both.

Saving the goodbyes for Grad Night.

Yes I know I haven't posted my whole short story. Though I wonder if you find it interesting even. 

Chuckle when you're sad.

I love humour that transcends the dramas of left. Or literally destroys it by revealing it's nature built upon perceptions.

From buttersafe.com

The story of the traveller in wandering wood pt 3

The traveller jolted up, awakened by the cold drizzle. He quickly sought cover but was far from any. So instead he clung desperately to a nearby oak that hosted an odd fern; its large leaves providing shallow cover.

The traveller shivered intensely and fell into a curl. He kept his numbed hands close to his chest, all the while clutching tightly to stray pieces of cloak, lest the wind penetrate his drenched apparel. But he needn't have, as they were heavy and damp.

The traveller recalled days at the market, hearing groans and screams as it started to rain heavily. The inexperienced vendors clamoured for flying pieces of silk and wool, worth half their savings. The rain in wandering wood however, was very different. There were no groans and screams, only the pitter and patter of droplets on grateful leaves, the soft symphony of wood creaking and forest litter stirring. And the strong scent of rain that was so familiar but rarely noticed. The traveller shivered again and re-focused his attention on his goal.

The rain stopped and at once the traveller set out in a hopeful general direction. It was well past mid-day when he saw a figure in the distance, and to his great excitement it did not hop or trot or scurry, but walked on two feet as he. Energised and relieved at the same time the traveller jogged over to the figure slowly, only to be awash with great disappointment once more.

End of part 3
Familiar?

Short Story pt 2

*Edit: I removed one part which I felt didn't fit and left a less than perfect abrupt jump in the story, too lazy, not being paid.*

The story of the traveller in wandering wood (part 2)

The traveller nodded and without pause, he carried on into the yellow tundra, and the day crawled with him.

Light bathed the forest floors through the crevices in the forest canopy and the traveller was but mere to the towering oaks and pines. But the woods could sense his presence. They (It) did so for all who scurried, for the busy little creatures which disturbed and did not stop to smell the oak and rosemary. The traveller was indifferent to his own indifference however.

And to no avail was his journey, and for naught were his plans. As the moon waxed his footsteps waned, till he stopped and put on a fire for the night. He sat there, staring into its sparks and cinders, twiddling the gem on his neck...

Dancing around daisies... and bowing to smell the prettier ones. The sun shone warmly while a breeze swayed him to a tiptoe. He glimpsed a figure coming towards him frolicking around the field lightly. All of a sudden, it became bitter cold, and the sun disappeared.

Part 2 end

Should be in 5 parts.

In the meantime, a chill song.

I wrote a short story part 1

The categorical imperative suggests that I have an imperfect duty to fulfill to any followers I might have (evidently, I have one complaint already!!)

So here's something I wrote, partially 'inspired' by a song called 'forest dreams' as well as 'daisies and the sun'. Both are piano instrumentals (with a little synthesiser/keyboard backgrounds) produced in the album Piano Spa 6 by Warner Music SG. (I infer that they are composed and played by Singaporeans). I don't think I'm able to post the song (and clearly I can't find them on youtube, which has similarly named but different songs) though. Also 'inspired' by a quote from W.H Davies's poem 'leisure' and an old aborigine saying (got it from the game Civ 5). I wrote it just for fun and for some relaxation from studying... don't expect anything spectacular. It was meant to be read while listening to the two piano songs mentioned and with your eyes closed at times to imagine the scenery. (As I do with a lot of music) I suppose a quiet environment would have a similar effect.

The story of the traveller in wandering wood

The traveller was tall and slim, and had hair hidden underneath his dark and tattered brown hood. He hurried along a leafy road in the wandering woods.

He was the second* to attempt such a feat, that is, to travel into these half-frosted woods. This autumn morn was warm and the wind was brisk, and fresh air pervaded the undergrowth. The traveller had eyes that were hazel as the dirt and wood and all that stood out was a small azure gem that hung around his neck.

He walked on into the day till a tall oak, the tallest of its folk. the traveller unveiled his hands from his cloak and touched the gem on his neck. And it glowed...

And this glow was strange, for it was a silent glow. It was silent because it did not make a sound, but made the whole forest grow louder instead, as if the wind blew just a little harder, and the sparrows chirped a little more noisily. The traveller placed his other hand on the great tree and spoke in his heart, 'where'?

And the tree which was tall and could see, spoke with a croak of a branch, which swung, gently. As if carried by the breeze, it pointed west; or was it just me?

End of Part 1
This song doesn't fit that well so don't listen while reading, but its still awesome... and I like the band.

World Peace

Since I was 11 years old that has been my birthday wish. (You know, when you blow out the candles or what not.

But no it's not like I'm pretending to be on some higher moral ground.
I was just kind of lazy.

Also I thought about it and the old adage 'be careful what you wish for' applies, so instead of wishing something selfish that I might have regretted not choosing something else later. A universally awesome wish sufficed. Also if wishes were real (we all were a little superstitious then), I didn't feel like wasting it on a video game ya know?

But I'd like to see it one day. Would really really love to. To one day wake up and look at my newspaper headlines say 'World Peace achieved as the last militant group surrenders to UN troops' or something. That would be something wouldn't it? It's wonderful and exciting. A day when all the fighting stops. When humanity is united.

The grandeur of secular humanism has always appealed to me. Something we could do ourselves. Building a better future in fraternity and freedom. (Viva la Revolucion!)

I was thinking about it this morning because of the recent attacks on the US ambassador, and while the Economist argues that the Arab countries are moving forward, it's still a long way to go really. Osama's death. How symbolic vs pragmatic has it been? I guess it's justice but that's all to me. The extremists are still extremists. People are still getting slaughtered in Syria, Yemen...

And yeah this whole issue just annoys me how ludicrously over-reactive humans are to irrational behavior.
Look, a fucked up guy decides to make a fucked up video. I feel that Indonesia's a good example for a response here. "We think it's really offensive you're insulting our religion, but no we will not be provoked by it". Awesome sauce, no protests. The response SHOULDN'T be "Oh look this douche made stupid offensive remarks. We should go fuck up the people who had nothing to do with it and actually want to make peace with our country! (ie the diplomats)" Real smart.

Freedom of speech is not a problem. And no, it's naive to say that there shouldn't be any insulting, offensive remarks as a result, such things are normative and inevitable given our messy irrational nature at times. But we shouldn't pander to them. Just ignore the clearly stupid remarks and try to be more self-assured of your religion and yourself. An affront to religion no doubt, give a good rebuttal and move on. And if more people are starting to subscribe to this rubbish view of your religion, debate with politeness but conviction. And not burn their ambassadors and flags.

Will still wait for North Korea to start feeding its people

A real classic!

TBBT

Initially wanted to put this as a a message on Jaren's tumblr after seeing this re-post:  http://butmyopinionisright.tumblr.com/post/31079561065/the-problem-with-the-big-bang-theory

I disagree with the the person though I haven't read the full length of his opinion (though I get the main message is we're supposed to support Penny and laugh at the nerds). I feel that perhaps some people may be slightly insecure of the personas given to them (like being called nerds). It comes across as defensive  to me in some ways, because I'm for the philosophy of laughing about everyone's quirks (including my own), and celebrating them. I do not find any of the characters 'weird' because quite honestly I think Penny and her ensemble of 'stupid' boyfriends are... well idiots. I laugh at Sheldon (for lack of a better term) not because I feel 'superior' (in fact I feel very much inferior, intellect-wise and sometimes wish the world had more people like him), but just simply because of his funny quirks, (sometimes I can relate to them too), his really good acting (as in the actor playing him is very good at that Sheldon persona). Though I do agree, that it is very disturbing that we're supposed to laugh at a person who has a real, and serious condition, yet from the outset

I did not see it that way for a few plain reasons. One is that I prefer him to his so-called 'normal' creationist mother (in terms of views, though obviously I prefer her character), and second is that he's capable of handling himself (and believing he's superior at that) in an adult world, away from his family or any support in a sense, which we don't see much in real life or other shows (often we hear talk about how we need to 'help' those kids with autism and that, when by far I think they are way more awesome than the idiots who can't do simple algebra), and frankly I don't respect someone with 'good social skills' in a sense that it's often played up to be as remarkable as intellect and logical thinking. When I hear someone is 'sociable', I often think of the dumb blonde (Unleashing all my stereotyping ) that resides in a typical High School. If you've seen the musical 'wicked', I respect the Wicked Witch very very much in the sense that she is so called 'socially awkward' but highly intellectual. No I do not pity.

I dislike the patronizing that goes on with 'nerds', and no I don't appreciate the labeling but I'm not upset about it. As the blog title goes, I'm uncool and I'm proud. The oblivious Sheldon is a model here, and frankly I don't completely disagree that he's 'superior' as he believes but at the same time, I'm all for so-called 'jocks' and what not, because contrary to what you've been led to believe in many High School dramas, the so-called 'bullies' or 'popular kids' can actually be very nice and smart students. The message is plain and simple, whatever title role society gives you, you can attempt to resist it and appear like 'the rest of them', but I ask... who the fuck gives a damn about society in the first place? Ok, granted, most people. I say you don't have to care, but stay true to yourself and do what you think is right and proper.

However, in the end, I have to concede to the person because judging by the number of re-blogs and likes, a lot of people support his view. And if the show is offensive to them, the producers should change it. Instigation is not funny. Getting laughed at is not funny (though honestly we need to be more self-confident and not rely so much on what other people think)

Yes, YOLO. No, it has nothing to do with the internet meme, it's just a good song.

Faded Dotted Lines

Left this post unfinished weeks ago.

Dramatic changes in my mindset since J1. Or have there been any at all?

As a wise man named Marcus once said, thinking is depressing.

Sometimes, in my current style of Rock, don't think, just do, coffee mugging style, I take a pause to think back. Big mistake.

You see the whole basis of such a philosophy works on convincing yourself that many thoughts are an overreaction and are hence, of no value. "I should have done this sooner", "Why can't I seem to get this part?", "Why the hell was I surfing the web for 4 hours?" for example, when referring to mugging. And even on real life situations. "I should have said...", "Why am I so lonely"

The trick is to then imagine the tumblr/9gag/reddit meme showing Yao Ming's face and say 'Fuck that shit.' And move on with your incomplete tutorials life.

However, I understand still the importance of reflection, just to make sure you're going down the right path. So I do that at times, mostly at night, tired after all the work of the day, or on bus and train rides home, listening to mellow-er music

Philo questions oft appear. One interesting one I asked myself recently was why we find sunsets, sunrises and sun behind clouds... beautiful? Something so illogical isn't it? Perhaps it is because we associate such images with something, just as how biologists postulate that we find certain baby animals cute because of certain subtle features that make it look like human babies, and that stimulates certain brain waves patterns, I wouldn't know.

I forgot exactly what I intended to write for this post :/

The bass on this song (Y)
 

Watching on the sides

The 'last day of lessons' ended with a whimper.

We judge how people judge us by judging them.

It's just after midnight and a can of beer with Sprite.
Still dislike the taste. Don't get alcohol. Don't get blackouts either. Perhaps they come in pairs.

"Write down how you think others perceive you" it says on my CV feedback.
What a question. Don't we all want to know?

We shouldn't care. Or at least I think I shouldn't care. And personally I think once you've made up your mind to think a certain way, after careful consideration of everything, you stick to it and don't waste time pondering over it until the next run through of reflections or bout of contradictory evidence. I wonder who reads my blog besides my two felloners <-- I merged fellow and loners together... and they're oxy-morons. K I don't know if they're loners. Neither do I know if I am.

I guess it was a decision not to care too much about being alone that is self-fulfilling.
When you decide that 'you're ok with not hangin' out' with your friends and just heading home to lepak, that's when you push people away. No, not push, more like, encouraging them to find someone else. And it's not because you don't enjoy the company, no I love it, love me friends and all. Just that I'm fine being alone, mostly. Meaning that people will think it more fulfilling, somehow, to spend time with someone else.

Heading to Raja everyday after school, or back to the classroom, by myself. I walk past all the best friends and couples and yeah, plenty of loners too. Problem is I don't know the loners but I know the former two, heh. Which is logical too, I might add.

So I'm bummed yeah, but I'm reminded that life goes on that it applies to the poor children begging of the streets of who-knows-where.

Just me and me dad

Watching the Olympics with dad

Thousands of stereotypical racist remarks ensue

Wtf transformers

Just caught the a portion of Transformers 3 Dark something.

Fucking. Stupid. Recycled. Shit. With Explosions. And lousy one-liner dialogues. With more explosions.

I do not hate superficial movies, I hate deceptive ones. The ones that try to play themselves as some epic movie with morals and heroism and shit, but is actually fucking rubbish. Some movies are superficial, and are blatantly obviously so, from the outset, so much nonsense going on that you know the director is just having fun and probably had 5 litres of vodka. Mixed with cocaine. I do not hate such movies, I laugh at them. It's fun to make fun of them because they invite it too.

Sometimes, having paid billions of dollars into marketing on various channels, the actors will be 'interviewed' about how they feel about the movie and they start saying some serious, moral shit like 'I really think my character is just this really misunderstood... etc etc.' when actually the character they play has fucking no realism to it at all.

Decepticons. Deception.

C.S Lewis can do better than this

I do not quite enjoy having to keep converting the TIFF files on grab to jpeg but oh well.
On to the point.
How can you trust your own thinking? Well in general I think that when I punch a wall I will likely get hurt. And I observe (in a sense, for I feel pain) this to be true. I therefore think it wise to trust my thinking. I could be wrong.
I've read Mere Christianity and respect his very sound arguments, especially on Moral Conscious (which indeed, is highly unexplained in science!) but I really don't get this one. His analogy did not help either. Though I do accept that my misunderstanding is my own fault.

Imported players?

A very frustrating, typical response of Singaporeans, and probably every country in the world.
Not that I disagree entirely with his stance, no I do think it more ideal to use home-grown athletes of course. But before the rest, firstly... one extremely irritating point is how he blatantly manipulates the 'ideal' of the Olympics like a religious extremist. WHO THE FUCK TOLD YOU WHAT WAS THE 'ULTIMATE IDEAL' OF THE OLYMPICS? K sorry couldn't keep up the formal, academic tone. I'm guessing, (myself ironically, presuming and being judge-mental) he just 'thought' that was what the Olympics was about without actually reading it up or listening to the President during the Opening Ceremony.

I didn't want to re-type too much so I'll post my reply to his reply here.
"A fair point, in light of how our players became citizens close to the Olympics in 08', and to add as well, they may compete with our local, hard working athletes for Olympic sports and beat them. Some may call it injustice. But two other points of contention, firstly is that 'citizen' is a highly subjective term which you use loosely conservative here. How would you say if a person is a 'citizen' of a country? Taking Feng as an example, she did choose to fight for us, she did not choose to be born in China, and I think you ignore the fact that countries are no longer defined by race, because nearly all sovereign, open states are multicultural. If you still believe in ancestry, that you should be a person from this land, than only Malays should be representing Singapore. As for cynical reasons such as 'for money' or 'for selfish glory' which I think local authorities are careful enough not to allow such players to represent us. The true test will probably be what she does in the long term. Will she stay on to coach here after the Olympics? Will she go back to China and renounce citizenship here? Grouping all of the 'imported players' together is not helpful."

And more of course.
Firstly, if you were to assume that this sporting event, like most, was a test of 'which country is better', in a matter of speech, than wouldn't it already be unfair that bigger countries have a larger genetic pool/talent? Training methods are slowly homogenizing and thus will become less important, so how do you expect smaller countries to compete on fair grounds? Then should it not be 'the Olympic Games for countries that usually win'? The flip-side to that of course, is to change it to 'the Olympic Games for rich countries who can buy imported players'. However, I do think the latter is a stance adopted by the more cynical, who likely take cues from the English Premier League and other soccer leagues, which YES, do require tons of money to win (more money). But no, the Olympics is not like that.

I'm fairly certain Feng will invite criticism at home, saying she 'betrayed' them. Do you think money is the only thing people go for? I don't think it's easy for people to just take money and go against their principles like we see on TV (the fake kind). Why do you think she fought Ding Ning so hard? Personal glory? Would you ignore the symbolism of representing a country for that? I believe it good to allow athletes to choose their allegiance, but of course loyally and responsibly. (meaning to say after careful consideration, after settling in the country and learning to love it, etc.) Feng is proud to play for Singapore, so there. I say we give her support instead of turning on auto-xenophobia, anti-foreigner mode. In a globalized world, nations are not bound  by race but by choice, as I'm sure you've heard of many citizens who've learnt to love their new countries more than their old. Our country is open (and hopefully, welcoming and hospitable), as I'm sure the first Chinese immigrants here who first identified themselves with this island as their home, why should we deny modern immigrants from doing the same? Because we were here first? WRONG. MALAYS WERE.

Am I the only person who noticed the retarded phone logic in the Opening Ceremony?

Women's TT Singles

Eh Feng lost. Aw.
Was a really exciting match.
Inspired to make memes.

China and Brit

My race is Chinese and I'm born in a former British Colony. I'm full-blown Singaporean and former of the former two.

We should celebrate each Olympics for their distinctiveness. Why compare the opening ceremonies? Well, many you-tubers commented on some clips from the Beijing Olympics, which, irks me. The Olympics for me comes closer to a vision of internationality of humanity that I hope to see one day. A day when the authoritarian and closed states open up, and finally for once, real world peace. Many people lauded the Chinese for putting on a spectacular performance. Then, I was like 'o yeah Asian power, Chinese power'. But the opening ceremony for the London Olympics was awesome too! In a different way. I had to go 'o yeah Brit power' too. Obviously, they cater to different taste. And they complement each other to show the diversity of human civilization.

Someone commented that the Beijing Games were meant to break stereotypes while the Brit ones reinforced them. Once again, such stupidity gets on my nerves. They say the Beijing Olympics 'showed how China is no longer a poor country'... I'M SORRY? DO THEY NEED TO SHOW YOU FUCKING LOADS OF FIREWORKS BEFORE YOU'RE CONVINCED? Honestly, the problem with these kind of comments is the frustration I get when idiots don't know shit about the world. Neither is China now like some perfect country. Don't forget the millions still poor, and the widening income gap. (But yes, really awesome how they lifted the most people our of poverty, helping the UN meet their millennium goal) London too, has their homeless, their destitute, and their rain. And yes, moving on the the Brits, its not stereotypes if they are true. Rowan Atkinson, the Queen, Queen, ARE BRIT. And I'd like to add, they are the best of the Brits, just as China showed the best of China. If you want to consider all these awesome things about the UK stereotypes, well then I'd love to see more of these stereotypes soon. I love British culture, and I'm proud of Chinese culture.

And they both LOVE TEA.

Eh, Tao Li disqualified from Butterfly Finals. Aww. :( Guessing Table Tennis might be our only medals.
Hooray for Singapore's up and coming indie scene!

Greece and London

Love ancient Greek culture and mythology. Love industrial/modern British culture and history.

Hence, loving the games in London.

Woke up this morning at 3.25AM to catch the live/delayed telecast on Channel 5. Only to realize there was an encore at 6pm. Nobody cares.

Shifting the minor updates, micro-blogging to this site instead of putting it as irrelevant comments on pictures on me tumblr.


Tao Li qualified for Semis woohoo. Found myself excited no matter what sport and what country. Well maybe I wouldn't really get wrestling and Judo.

I think the Afghan women boxer Sadaf Rahimi was quietly removed from the games. Dam. Disappoint.

South Korean flag incorrectly displayed with North Korean team. To be fair to the blundering brits, nobody forced you to name your two countries 'Republic of Korea' and 'People's Democratic Republic of Korea', with the latter being the epic most misleading shit ever. My good 'ol classmate who plays Starcraft had this to say on the news: "Nuclear Launch Detected".

But wait. It wouldn't work. CAUSE THEY HAVE MISSILES. On the rooftops of London I mean. No I'm not kidding, it's one of the security measures. How cool is that. Maybe the Queen has a cartoon-like red button to press and launch them at Mitt Romney. I mean seriously, losing swing states is understandable, but now this guy wants to lose countries. Hope Obama can work out the economy in time.

I'm blogging like Marcus.


Nuuuuuu.


Coursework.


Nah don't have it :P

SGC, scholarships, uni courses, uni talks, everything that I deem 'a necessary waste of time'. Dang it. Let me just watch ze Olympics in peace.

Unable. To. Withstand. Awesome-ness. Of. Brit. Music.
Cannot. Stop. Feeling. Awesome. Watching. Video

You don't know how I feel

That phrase, is a common irrational statement made by the clinically depressed, angst teenagers or emotionally charged people.

Because maybe we do know how you feel.

Whoever said that we must go through the exact same lifetime, exact same events, to be able to empathize with your state of mind?

I was giving advice on how I studied to my friend when a 3rd one voiced his annoyance. Saying that 'people only say that when they're at the top'. O is that so? Were my grades not as shitty as yours now? And also, are you going to take advice from someone who is consistently failing, or consistently succeeding, even better, improving? His response to that was 'just don't get advice'. Though terribly arrogant to say the least, I knew I had won the argument. For my friend sought advice, and so I gave advice. And of course, advice is not orders, you can always choose to adapt it, or throw it away, however different your situation, your history is.

And of course, if I had dramatically improved in my grades, and not given advice when sought, would that not be terribly selfish of me? So damned if I do and damned if I don't give advice is that right? No sorry, in your bitter consciousness and state of mind, it is understandable why you would say such a thing. But when you finally succeeded and looked back, how would you feel when people tell you 'you don't understand them' just because you improved. So thank you very much, but I cannot help you in your sorry state until you take some Prozac.

My good friend, when will you realize bitterness is but the drama we seek within?

Bad days are to be expected.

And good ones are just a bonus.

Shit happens. Life's basically a game, where all the shit in life is thrown at you, and good moments are to be enjoyed not as norms but as the bonus levels which you shouldn't expect and won't affect your game play adversely even if you fail to maximize getting points in them.

Recently adopted this philosophy. As well as lowering the amount of fucks I give. Some people say that you should let yourself 'feel' cause it's a human thing, that, even though you leave yourself vulnerable to the sadness and depression, you will also full enjoy the rich and wonderful experiences. Well screw that, I'm just going to take the rich and wonderful and forget/ignore the stupid ones eh? Hasn't been proven yet but going along nicely. Nobody said you're in a bad state, you're lonely, depressed, sad, etc. CEPT YOURSELF. Come on man, only people who look for drama will find it in life. If not, it's all perspective.

'Course, I guess this doesn't apply to those who really are in deep shit. But its a general rule of thumb for all the whiners and idiots who keep asking me how come my grades improve so much. Cause I didn't give a shit about anything much else during the holidays.

Now, I've fallen sick. KK forget it, big deal right? Many people do. Just try to get well and get back on track after. Thinking about how far behind I'll be when I recover is just going to be a waste of brain cells.

Oh its friday the 13th. SO? Don't give me that shit about bad luck. Bad luck is subjective.

It's comfortable in my cave.

So I just had to check facebook before I left for my run.

Wasn't helpful that throughout the panting I was thinking of my opinion and different views.
It concerns this video that Jia Lok shared on facebook, I haven't watched the entire hour long motivational/christian/chinese flick, and so I only hazard a guess that it is like most motivational/christian/chinese flicks about life, cherishing it, by showing people who are about to lose it how they do. As always, I have a habit of immediately thinking of opposing views, a kind of GP reflex action. The problem is I tend to romanticize that opposing view in light of its minority uptake. A kind of hipster reflex action.

"How can you choose to give up when they
-weak and sick, with their dreams crushed and death sentenced prematurely-
choose to keep smiling, keep fighting, keep loving?
What excuse do you have?
What rights, do you have?"

Is what he said. I decided I would come back and reply, yet again, by giving a differing opinion. Yet, something stopped me. I momentarily had a vision of how things would then turn out. Jia Lok would rebutt me, my point would be dismissed by the rest (more like flooded, seeing as it's Jia Lok's), and I would feel bad for commenting. No I have never said that I take my stand that way, and Jia Lok get's it, but why do I get the feeling everyone else things I'm a jerk? MAYBE THEY DO. Yup. So I decided, to be a wimp and talk about it here instead.

This happens often. For a period of time I come out of my cave and take my stands, say my opinions, or actually, others' opinion, (because mine is usually the boring, politically correct argument that does not enrich the conversation, so why would I repeat what other people are saying? So that I get the nice feeling everyone agrees with me?) I get owned by chivalrous, no nonsense every day heroes like Jia Lok, and I wonder why the hell I didn't just keep my mouth shut. AND SO I DECIDE TO.

Let's take a look at the last two lines of his comments. I am slight discomfited by the judgemental tone, but besides the point, to give a differing view, perhaps such a statement would be counter-intuitive and misguided. It sounds like reprimanding a lazy, spoilt child. But are we all? No, in fact to be cynical would be to assume something even worse. How the movie Coach Carter put it, quoting from Marianne Williamson's poem, "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." Yes. Fear, not laziness or the feeling  of being limited, could be the problem.

The view goes like this, that people, have perhaps early on, realized that they are lucky and have very high potential. Partly because of these sort of flicks, and because the last generation keeps saying it, and because our teachers say it, and because other people in our age group show it. It doesn't help. Do you realize how much more depressing it is to hear that we are supposed to be freaking awesome, but we aren't? This may sound terribly terribly harsh, but those people (the 'disadvantaged'), are happy, because they have met their expectations. Simply put, it is more difficult to fall short of expectations, than to be handicapped, yet meet them.

So perhaps, physically, they are restrained, but with that kind of freedom, the freedom to set your own targets, because society didn't, psychologically they are much better off. This is not to downplay their outstanding mentality and perseverance, no. But to point out that telling people that they could do much better, is not motivational, but depressing. Especially when these people have seen multiple failures, or have had parents or teachers or siblings putting so much pressure on them to get 4As, win medals and scholarships. I think you're just making them more disheartened, the next stage being a sort of mental defence mechanism. The usual blaming, the hiding, the locking away. On the outside, they may seem lazy, but maybe these people, are just defeated. Maybe you shouldn't be telling them that they could have worked harder, or they have no right to be lazy, but tell them not to care what other people's expectations are, but to push your own self, because you can. Positive thinking.

There are people who need to be told off, but perhaps, and only perhaps, it is a sad misguided world where people are applying the wrong medicine.

Also. And fair warning that taken out of context this would be an extremely harsh view, but believing there exists a wonderful place where you can spend eternity with loved ones, loved things, and a loving God, may just make someone accept dying easier than a person who still has his whole future to worry about. And people are scolding them about it. Not an anti-religious view, just a logical observation, am not implying either side is right.

I hope readers understand what I'm trying to say. Just be a little less harsh to the people who could be doing better. Because though these cancer patients are admirable, they are a different context.

There is a different character role model for different individuals with different presets.

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OH CRYSTAL BALL CRYSTAL BALL TELL ME LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL.

How important is worldly knowledge?

I often get annoyed at 井底之蛙. Something tells me I'm just being mean and judgemental. How important is general knowledge, really?

Let's be practical first.
There is no fixed syllabus (unless you count the GP one), and even if there was, by nature, this hypothetical textbook would just keep expanding and expanding. So why waste time reading today's news if it might just change tomorrow? How do we determine the relevance, the sensitivity of an issue? Frankly, I've probably already forgotten 80% of what exactly I read two TIME issues back.

Even if we knew these things... does it matter? OK so Xi Jinping got kicked out of the Communist Party Politburo. Ok Mitt Romney won the Republican Primaries. Woop Woop. Wait a minute, how the hell does this affect me again?

Perhaps this is something difficult to measure, or understand. Like why music works. Why can it calm someone down, why can it hype someone up? Why do people who know more about the world seem better at analyzing, at thinking and conversing smartly? Perhaps intuition tells us its just a good thing to know about. The world at large I mean.

And I guess, when it boils down to it, reading current affairs is a syllabus that you master over time. That, in the long run, one can tell instinctively, if this is going to be big. That even if it didn't appear on the front page, it's going to in the future. Its a trained, sense. Kind of like social skills right? You just sort of, know.

The context.
Though we live in a relatively safe society (which in itself could be the problem), you never know. If I told you that Incans lived in Africa and predicted the end of the world in 2014, would you believe me? Of course, when I phrase it like that, you wouldn't. But maybe you didn't realize that earlier I said Xi Jinping got kicked out of the Communist Party when actually it was Bo Xilai. And that the former is actually the vice-premier soon to be premier. Do you realize how easily manipulated you could be without trying your hardest to find out the truth? Or just trying to figure things out yourself? Back when information was scarce and localized, was also back when voodoo was widely practiced and people believed that some divine human-looking beings lived on a nearby mountain whose name is now a photography and consumer electronics brand.

Rumours work on the ignorance of its purveyors.

Isn't it scary to think that the people around you could be so easily manipulated then? And perhaps all because they were lazy? Or apathetic?

Sometimes my classmates ask me to chill when I get pissed that they don't know certain things. Granted, I have gone overboard sometimes regarding less well-known issues. But questions like 'China is a democracy? Since when?' should not be disregarded, because it reveals how vulnerable we are should someone attempt to use the foolish to forward his personal whims. I'm afraid the person who asked that question, is also in Raffles Institution. Nothing could be more shocking.

"Two Things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." -Albert Einstein

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When you play inverted, you endanger the lives of those around you.

June

It's half time. By the end of this month, we'll just be six months away. No not to the A levels, because when I sit down and think hard, when I get that fuzzy feeling that there's more to life than this, is when I realize, and I think a lot of people do when they take the time, that the coming exams, will not be the representation of your life. No, thinking about things that just seem, a step higher. Its half a year, to real adulthood... to really, earning a living, starting to be seriously independent... when academic life ends. (Well, sorta. I kind of feel Uni is gonna be a real different ball game, especially if you're going overseas)

June.

Went to check out what I posted a year ago around this time, and it was about the Econs trip. In hindsight, I didn't really get to know the group better at all... save for a few. Whom I now frequently stalk. Funny how that works right? In some places you can meet all the 'nice friends' but when it comes to the really like-minded ones, somehow they'll be mixed in with the people whom you won't get along with at all... In the deepest parts of the oceans is where you'll find the most fantastical, wonderful forms of life... And the nastiest.

I like the title of this post. (Well obviously, unless you're retarded, Leeks.) Its not just the month... its also a nice girl's name. (as in, the name is nice, not a girl who is nice who has that name) Have you ever imagined this really corny situation where out of the blue in some of your loneliest hours you meet a near complete stranger that would turn out to be your love interest later? (Oh god, sounding like I've had too many rounds of love potion) Yeah really cheesy, but god dammit really romantic lol.

I feel guilty many times for feeling scornful or high-and-mighty at what I deem to be 'superficial', yet being human, I'm no different really, and I fall for the same things sometimes. I don't like to call it self-deluding, because I'm not subconsciously aware of it, I just literally forget sometimes, what its like to be in that person's shoes perhaps. A sort of disconnection from the empathy server. Like for instance when my classmate started swooning and became really blonde talking about this guy she crushes on, I experienced this spurt of annoyance at the general human race. But side-step a little and hey, this classmate is actually pretty matured, musings are for fun anyway. And let's not forget the kind of nonsense you've done when you were crushing right? (oh shit I'm totally reminded that I actually drew someone when I liked her... embarrassing)

So I'll sit here and wait. Listening to alt/indie rock, reading Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and waiting for June to pass and come into my life.

The lyrics are... lacking. But you know, some songs are meant for that, some songs are just for that easy listening and for you to sit there and think about your life. Not to mention it was in 500 Days of Summer. And yes, as the song says, I want the happy ending... No Zooey is not a happy ending, (actually in the movie she's kind of an ass :X, but its k lar she had a troubled past I guess)

BORED

JAREN TOOK YOUR ADVICE.
2 Years of no torrent-ing and I'm bleeding dry of legit entertainment. Couldn't concentrate on Chem today cause I could think about was how I wasn't going to do anything even after I finished... URGH. And yet I don't want or can't really do anything about it! Urgh I thought I was supposed to be the adventurous type. But yet I'm somewhat insecure so its like I want to do a whole lot of new fresh stuff but can't afford it ahhhh. Ahhh going cracy omg finished 6 questions on ionic equilibria. SIX SINCE MORNING and its coming to five oclock already... fail fail fail fail fail fail :( going off schedule!!
Just bought ceremonials. Helped me get through yesterday's physics at least... but running out of steam and ideas!! Oh GOD WHY DOES EVERYONE STAY SO FAR.

Walking through Zara and Kinokuniya

Different feels altogether..
It's rather somber to realize what a strong predisposition we can have on certain things.
I think we should come to terms with the fact that at all times, we could be wrong.
I was going to talk about how wondrous it felt to walk through Kinokuniya rather than shopping for clothes at Zara but I pause. Because I know that I do dislike fashion, and I romanticize books. So there was it. A preconceived notion. A bias. So now I can only describe it as a feeling, my feeling, that I prefer books to clothes. But no, let me not be condescending and say that those who do the opposite are lesser, more superficial. Because it is as raw a fact, that book lovers can be equally fashionable, and perhaps the most hipster in fashion are also the advocates of classical literature and graphic design are they not? So what was I going to describe?

I was going to say that walking through Zara was so much less, so much more shallow to me. I saw people who looked like they styled their hair for 2 hours, and wearing jeans that made them partially paraplegic. And that in Kinokuniya, though in generally yes, the people did look more mediocre, less... fit, maybe sloppier, but the point was that no one care, because people were there for a wonderful thing, a love of books. And the flagship store was so large and exciting, like a million hours of entertainment, enrichment.

But I should not shouldn't I? Let's not generate false dichotomies of different interests. Wouldn't it go against my beliefs? That people don't necessarily have to be nerdy to be smart, and that computer scientists and engineers, can play classical piano on the side, or maybe gym 3 times a week? We are all the same species, with the struggles, needs... perhaps we should not antagonize people with interest that seem like fads, seem superficial, but those who are stubborn, who do not constantly seek new horizons and explore the vast galleries of the human cultural museum. Live and let live! Let everyone enjoy their pleasures, be it shoes or books. Why should we be condescending?

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I saw two things on facebook that jolted me back into politics, and let me come clean, that my knee jerk reaction is often unpleasant rebuttal. Which I refrain from saying of course, without digging deeper.

One of them was about DPM Teo at the Pre-U seminar and how the participants were frustrated at his responses. Before I continue, I must say that anyone who believes a political dialogue should be ideally apolitical, that is to say, objective, is absolutely missing the point. Obviously some things can't be said, obviously somethings cannot be just thrown at the public, which I must unfortunately add, are full of idiots. (my god just told everyone not to be condescending above). Urgh I'm tired, just typed a whole lot on Tze Yang's fb status. and its 1 am... Need to wake up and study tomorrow!

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I like songs with mixes of minor and majors... And kickass drums. Throw in some dubstep.

How f-ed up life is

I'd rather die a penniless and good man than a deceitful, successful one.
Unfortunately my parents don't think so.
Righteousness may be the folly of some, but it is the very fuel that keeps me going strong.
I don't need God to tell me that.
My grand-uncle is a photographer, but he is poor as he works as a cleaner. He is old and single but I don't care. He did what he loved so why the fuck should you care whether he has 500 shares in Facebook or a dozen square miles of property in New York?

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Should I go for tuition?
I just hate the fucking feeling of being patronized. Of attempting to gain an upper hand. I don't like the feeling I've been given an advantage. I hate the that this meritocracy breeds the kind of dirty, back-handed competition that it does. I don't know where all these sentiments come from, but on my list of top hates inequality has to be one of them. And unfortunately, I supposedly have to 'count myself lucky' for being born into a privileged class and society, do you know how fucking shitty that feels? Like as if all my accomplishments were not by my own merit but because I was just fucking born this way? Like I have to live up to expectations from the moment my elder brother topped classes and got scholarships? Inspiring stories out there of people from humble beginnings making their way to the top by hard work and grit... urgh. Has it occurred to anyone that some people are 'born smart' or 'born talented' or 'born rich', but also 'born hardworking', is it really fair to cherish the latter when the first three types did not make the choice to have a tendency to maybe be a little lazier? That maybe they didn't have the same kind of upbringing and hence became complacent or something?
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ELECTRICO
Y U NO SELL AT HMV?

Church Lurch

Going into Christianity was a sort of 'let's try it and see what happens' thing. Of course if you want to romanticize the statement it would be more like 'exert that little faith, and open your heart to Jesus'.
I was careful to tell myself that it would be insincere and inaccurate to keep any 'safety's on. That is, to erase any misgivings, and accept certain essentials (such as the existence of Jesus) without questioning incessantly. A year later and I'm reminded that it started out as, quite crudely, a little 'adventure'. Of course, it was much more serious than just going to church making friends and singing hymms. I was thinking a lot. A lot a lot a lot. And after truly accepting for a year, its almost a sort of 'control' experiment that I'm doing precisely the opposite and having 'a little adventure' outside of Christianity again.

The simple answer of my current views will likely prove utterly dissatisfying to the reader. 'I. Don't. Know.' It's a little lazy (I need a break from all this existential stuff ok!) but sufficiently justified, at least in my opinion. The short story is that very unfortunately, it is very unclear who is right, and no I can't be bothered for now really. And though it is rather ad hominem, the general trend is that Christians in my class are nice people, possess good attitudes, but very under-read (and sometimes seem disturbingly brainwashed), whilst the atheists can be judgmental, but not unjustified, given that they seem to be the smartest and most well-read in the class. (It is debatable that any of these attributes can be evidence. For one thing truly believing you will be condemned to an eternity of hellfire and burning sulfur should you slack in character can be a pretty good motivator, and possessing world-ly knowledge and smarts could be a catalyst for arrogance, a deterrent to faith) A highly polarized class is not helping. A highly polarized society is not helping. Highly polarized parents are not helping. For now at least, I'll be roaming the unexplored and desolate middle-ground.

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All around me there was a wall of fog. It was not a solid barrier able to knock, but a mysterious a threatening aura. It said don't come any closer, I said don't come any closer. Was it not within this fog when I could think calmly? An an eye of a hurricane? And how so; can one proceed in without first understanding the maelstrom's nature? For it is furious but magnificent as anything could have been if it had that specific potent mix of power and unsettlement.

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FOO BEATLES?? WHAT?? HUH WHO? Feel that the album version brings out the awesome guitar riff better. (a bit of a duh, but their performance is dam good too)

No thank you, romanticized arguments

Professor : You are a Muslim, aren’t you, son ?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, you believe in GOD ?

Student : Absolutely, sir.

Professor : Is GOD good ?

Student : Sure.

Professor: Is GOD all powerful ?

Student : Yes.

Professor: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to GOD to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn’t. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?

(Student was silent.)

Professor: You can’t answer, can you ? Let’s start again, young fella. Is GOD good?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Is satan good ?

Student : No.

Professor: Where does satan come from ?

Student : From … GOD …

Professor: That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Evil is everywhere, isn’t it ? And GOD did make everything. Correct?

Student : Yes.

Professor: So who created evil ?

(Student did not answer.)

Professor: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don’t they?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, who created them ?

(Student had no answer.)

Professor: Science says you have 5 Senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son, have you ever seen GOD?

Student : No, sir.

Professor: Tell us if you have ever heard your GOD?

Student : No , sir.

Professor: Have you ever felt your GOD, tasted your GOD, smelt your GOD? Have you ever had any sensory perception of GOD for that matter?

Student : No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t.

Professor: Yet you still believe in Him?

Student : Yes.

Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn’t exist. What do you say to that, son?

Student : Nothing. I only have my faith.

Professor: Yes, faith. And that is the problem Science has.

Student : Professor, is there such a thing as heat?

Professor: Yes.

Student : And is there such a thing as cold?

Professor: Yes.

Student : No, sir. There isn’t.

(The lecture theatre became very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student : Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don’t have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.

(There was pin-drop silence in the lecture theater.)

Student : What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?

Professor: Yes. What is night if there isn’t darkness?

Student : You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light. But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and its called darkness, isn’t it? In reality, darkness isn’t. If it is, were you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you?

Professor: So what is the point you are making, young man ?

Student : Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.

Professor: Flawed ? Can you explain how?

Student : Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good GOD and a bad GOD. You are viewing the concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can’t even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing.

Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?

Professor: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.

Student : Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going.)

Student : Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor. Are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?

(The class was in uproar.)

Student : Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor’s brain?

(The class broke out into laughter. )

Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?

(The room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face unfathomable.)

Professor: I guess you’ll have to take them on faith, son.

Student : That is it sir … Exactly ! The link between man & GOD is FAITH. That is all that keeps things alive and moving.

My Short Response
 1. It is not 458 Degrees below Zero, for Celcius its 273.15, for Farenheit its 459.67, :D
2. Evolution is a theory developed via the observance of certain phenomena such as Darwin's Finches, the coloring of moths under smog conditions, and bacterial resistance to anti-biotics. It is at least more observable than creationism, or God, for that matter.
3. We can trust that the brain of the professor exists because we know that species that look like him have a brain from dissection and post-mortem experimentation, we therefore infer that he has a brain as it is more likely that he has one than he doesn't. It is impossible to sample the entire human population and check that have a brain. This is not exactly faith, per se, depending on your definition from it. Neither does science say he has no brain, rather, it is unproven. But of course science cannot be entirely proven, it can only be proven more or less.
4. Of course, arguing there is no duality brings the question of why God is absent in the first place? The theological answer is that we push him away. Of course, this will end up into a longer argument, but the point is that the student makes a straw-man argument by attacking his premise (that ends up irrelevant, as above)

Always carry a salt-shaker with you.


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Trek

Trek
Strolling through the streets of Istanbul,
Watching the flow of Burqas and Levi's
Cycling along the avenues,
I whizzed past stalls of handicraft in Timbuktu


Showering golden leaves and sunlight
Winding around the Great Lakes
Atop a van of fellow travelers
Letting the calm Ontario breeze tickle


And trekking through the Andes
Down narrow passes, up steep crevices
What a sight to behold!
Oh! A sight only travel can bestow...

~Inspired by this song, was used, very appropriately I might add, for a Emirates advert.

2 hours to sunrise

So much I want to talk about, so much I want to relinquish. The responsibility of this outspoken self.

I feel much clearer now; could be the coffee, could be the time. Just this silence, I want to bask in it. But no, its not complete silence - the dark, ominous creep of a building's storeroom, or the sealed, desperate, desolate corridors that run length across basements and concrete. Its ambient silence. The cool, and unambiguous kind. When the stars and streetlamps are lit dimly but warmly, as if they were there just to keep you company and remind you that even in silence you are not isolated from civilization, albeit a sleeping, and more importantly, uncaring one. When you hear the crickets or the drizzle (but never both, for that is nature's way of balancing the volume). As the south eastern sea breeze blows, as my stand fan spins in protest...

6.00 Wake up
7.45 SAT begins
12.50 SAT ends
1.30 Reach home, lunch
2.20 Vesak Day photography
3.20 Rest and game
5.20 Shower, change, rush off to City Hall
6.40 Mad rush to Singapore Conference Hall with YZ, XY and Eric
7.00 Alfred's CO performance, he does a kick-ass solo.
9.20 Show ends after 3 encores (I kid you not, these people, and alfred especially, are popular!!)
10.20 Spontaneously decide to watch Avengers at midnight, having arrived back in Katong with YZ and XY.
11.10 Supper and Pool
12.40 Avengers!
2.50 A great show ends!
3.30 Reach home...

And I couldn't be happier. (Despite the epic fail SAT sitting)
I used to think that true spirituality can only be obtained through religion. Well in my most earnest opinion, the paradigm doesn't apply anymore. No, in fact it didn't apply even before. This blog, has always been a source of spirituality too.

And off to bed... because its 2 hours to sunrise. I wish I could stay and say more. But I guess... really I just wanted to record this day down. Really awesome Primary School friends... always.

Essays!

I am deeply exhausted by the sample essays I've read so far on the SAT study guide online. My classmate told me, rather optimistically that the American examiners are open and essays will not be marked based on any sort of structure. However it seems to me that most of the essays that garnered full marks often quote literature and personal anecdotes as examples, and follow an expository, one side one stand structure. This is rather against my beliefs as I am rather skeptical that 'truth' and 'wisdom' can be rationally obtained from literary writers who have innate bias-ness. To put it quite simply, books that are romanticized as truly portraying the 'human condition', do not impress me at all. Rather, learning from history and current affairs is the way to go for me. Personally, no anecdote of any individual should be considered a true and critical analysis of the 'human condition'. What a small sample size you're concluding from! And by God, from popular fiction! Granted, it is derived from observation and experience of real humans, but are these value judgements not magnified through an author's subjective lens?

Slimming Adverts

ARE TERRIBLE.
I'm not just talking about the rubbish and de-grading shit they put on newspapers where overweight women are likely forced to look sad in the 'before' picture and then suddenly super happy in the 'after' picture.

I thought Colgate was bad enough with their utter nonsense of scanning people's teeth outside crowded schools to random passer-bys and saying every other brand causes plaque. But it was borderline amusing anyway.

But no. London Slimming has to come up with the most terrible, pissing advert of all.
Can't find a youtube video but its airing on TV if you want to see it.
Advert is apparently a 'true story' of some woman whom, after giving birth, becomes a little overweight and then starts talking about her husband joking about her figure and she was 'honestly hurt'. Attaching negative connotations to child-bearing and already degrading women into emotional, superficial people who are hopelessly obsessed with their weight so they clearly have to dedicate their lives to their savior London Slimming who died for their fats.Why the fuck did you hide your feelings from the father of your child in the first place?? Is this how you're going to bring up your kid??
So London Slimming changes her life forever cause her friends asked her to go and she lost xxKG.
I haven't even started on something called EXERCISE, BITCH. How can your husband love you for who you are if you can't do it for yourself? I'm being very mean but honestly in this case, the natural way, to work your muscles and watch your nutrition, is the best. You don't need a body-builder figure. You need FITNESS. And we're better than the poachers who feed on our insecurities.

Suddenly Singaporeans are too busy to exercise?? I find that very dangerous thinking. For one thing, although its not easy, you shouldn't be tank-ing a job that forces you to work so long you don't even have time to do sit-ups.

I might get lambasted for apparently taking an irrational, emotional stand on this. Yes sure slimming centers are there to 'help people' with their self-confidence. AND PERMISS THEIR LAZINESS.

I need to continue working on my presentation, so no time to really work out my thoughts on this. (Finding it ironic that I just talked about having no time to exercise? Well frankly exercise is way more important than coherent blogging.)

Indescribably awesome. 50% of the reason why I bought Wasting Light. (40% to Walk, Arlandria, 10% to FF in general)

Talk

How I'm feeling now... if I could change a few words.
Oh Lord I can't get through.
I've been trying hard to reach you cause I don't know what to do
Oh Lord I can't believe you're true.
I'm so scared about the future and I wanna talk to you.
I attempted a week of an atheist mindset again and I was happy...

Somewhere

I had a very odd urge to write something on my blog (I think its guilt) and I started typing something out. Didn't know what it was till it became what it was. 30 second poetry

Somewhere
In a forest somewhere
There lay a few golden leaves
And looking up there were more.
Floating, streaming and swaying down, they rests upon your palms
And you walked on, bathed in the glow of the sun, trudging through
Soft swooshes and silent swishes

Birds chirp in odd harmony,
how did they learn the melody of serene?
Trudging through somewhere, in a coniferous scene.

This should help


 Really awesome bloggers visited my exhibit when my classmates didn't, thought they were in my pictures. (Granted I know some of them would have if they could)

Ambivert

Finally a term to describe me. After establishing my belief in my extroversion and succumbing unknowingly to social convention that charisma, energy, action, American-ish traits are better then solitude and contemplation, my introvert self has been left woefully neglected. As it should be shouldn't it? And its so sad that when we just want to be ourselves its because we're emotional or not in a good mood. What's that supposed to mean? Too long have we understood homo sapiens as social beings, a result of group selection, that we respond negatively to quiet, deep thought by one's self.

Perhaps the supposed anger and insecure that emanates from introverts manifests from the social perception that such behavior is 'anti-social'. This, in fact, instead of improving their sociability, grossly undermines their confidence and self-worth, a detriment to their creativity and productivity. A sure trait of the introverted intellectual.

I should try to stop talking in sophisticated fashion.

I really could feel the sincerity in this talk.
http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/en/susan_cain_the_power_of_introverts.html

Influence of Independents

Nothing political here.

Lately my thinking has been shaped by atheists who shall not be named. It has definitely made my thinking much more independent. I cannot tell if that's a good thing.

Fundamentally, I believe in universal truths plus rational morality. I dislike the sort of modern thinking of 'to each his own'. You mean its OK for someone else to do this but not the other guy? Why is that so? How can that be so? If there is any logic in your behaviour then rationally speaking it should apply to someone else? Granted this person was apparently 'brought up differently'. Yes our behaviour should change in different environments but no it should not be different between people in the same situation, because only of them can be logically coherent.

Of course, it has made me a self-intuitive, self-righteous bastard. Indeed, my friends are scarce. Well screw it. Do not call someone arrogant if you cannot get your thinking straight and he has, albeit with pride. Humility is good because it leaves one available to a change in thinking and is socially acceptable and easier to convince others of your lifestyle given a more amiable front. If he has constantly questioned his own beliefs and way of life and has justification for his character why do you condemn his conviction in it?

Perhaps my natural way of speaking has always been to sound like a snobbish high-philosophy prick.

Jeremy told me something that was obvious but didn't occur to me yesterday 'not everyone thinks like you'. Well if you want the ultra-elitist response its because everyone else are clearly not as smart. If you want the diplomatic response I have clearly wronged and I should not object to other people's way of living nor impose my own at all. Of course, this has always been quoted by the hedonists, liberals and hippies. Whom ironically impose this way of thinking on others. Indeed, freedom for all remains elusive because clearly freedom of an individual will surely clash with another. Hence the need for a higher authority dictating the ground rules. In this respect, has the Holy See or the secular government done better?

Damn it, became political in the end.

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1 year of belief on

It is symbolic that after 1 year being a Christian, I am faced with overwhelming problems with the faith. I say overwhelming not out of exaggeration and I'd like to elaborate but gosh the TV behind me is really distracting. So till next time for now.

The things I would have posted on facebook

Sometimes in life, we are inspired.
By the beauty of nature, by the complexities of life, by the adversity of will. We are inspired.
TO MAKE FACEBOOK STATUSES.

"Pessimists need to be more optimistic, optimists need to read more"
Alt: "Pessimists..., optimists need to be more realistic"
"Someone likened Florence and the Machine to Lady Gaga, I likened his face to a punching bag"
"*In class* GP tutor: "... cause there are still seemingly viable non-democratic states such as China" Classmate: "HUH since when was China not democratic??" Me: *Jumps off building* "HUH? US LOST THE VIETNAM WAR?" Me: *Comes back from the dead, jumps off again*

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I think I like the Arts so much cause I'm in science. God dammit I'm a generic hipster. *drowns in the mainstream* I swear if I was taking Arts I would be reading science shit.

Eggxiting

Eggs!

I set the new club members an assignment that involved taking an egg in different ways. Decided that I should also do it with them but what a waste if I just throw away the album and never share it with anyone else except the club! On a side note... should I put more of my photos on facebook?

Everystory

Every person on that train you're on, every student sitting in that lecture hall, the lecturers, the cleaners, the hawkers and the ministers, all have a story. Did you look at them with nondescript eyes? Did you see the struggle in their eyes? The humanity in their soul?

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Watched the Dramafest full dress rehearsals a few days ago.

Let me be honest (knowing full well I'll be judged!) that I am a little disappointed and envious of all the actors up there. I wonder if it made a difference if I tried for dramafest or not, and the fact that I was shortlisted. We always think of the what ifs, and I find it so much more so in JC

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Wrote a few angsty days ago.

Demons Inside Me

Let not the water boil.

But wash over into a spring

Let no one watch the knives in my eyes,

But blunt in the sea breeze

Let it be and let me be

Don't follow when I walk into the abyss

Stop short... Stay where you are. 

Don't come any closer.

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In the darkroom. They say councilors do a lot of work. Well at least they do it together. Its lonely in the darkroom, and the lights are flickering. Better call estate.

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I actually heard this 5 years ago on MTV but only once... you know those kind of songs.
Just keep waiting...