StressSSSSSSSS

There's no other way to put it. I'm FUCKING stressed! Fuck man...I just broke down and cried just now. I know you all are trying to help, but FUCKING TELLING ME TO DROP A SUBJECT WONT HELP. Can anyone understand my position? If I drop think of how paiseh I'll be, I would have disappointed myself too. Instead of giving me retarded strategies, can someone actually give me some PROPER MOTIVATION?  My english teacher was right to say someone needs 12 positive strokes to live, to survive, to function in life. But my teachers are not helping. Everyday just more and more homework. The most they can give me is 'the school is proud of you etc etc.' I need help. Lots of it. I don't want to disappoint anyone, but the teachers never instruct in retrospect. Their scope of understanding and encouragement is only limited to their own subject. I told my Chinese teacher I really can't do chinese but of course, as expected she just said things like try your best, chinese O levels finish first. WHATEVER MAN. No one's giving me and Jia Lok a break and we really need it.
 Here is a rough schedule of my everyday life...WHEN I'M NOT SICK.
Monday
0600: Wake up go to school
0720-1800: School
1800-1830: Do some homework while wait for father to fetch
1830-1930: Misc stuff e.g. Shower, Dinner, Find special stuff for tml, ask parents sign letters, do weights, etc.
1930-2130: Homework
2130-2230: Read newspaper, watch the news with dad, blog, surf the net a while if can (e.g. C&H daily web comic, youtube subscriptions, read friends' blogs, etc.)
2230: Sleep (7-8hrs of sleep)

Tuesday - Friday Same thing.  If I have less homework on any day I will watch TV, especially Wednesday &  Thursday because there's Glee & American Idol on StarWorld. Thursday afternoon replaces lessons with Choir. Friday end school a bit earlier and sleep a bit later.

Saturday
0620: Wake up go to school
0730-1200: Choir + PT
1200-1300: Misc stuff e.g shower, lunch etc.
1300-1400: Attempt some homework. Usually results in watching some TV.
1400-1700: Sleep, read newspaper, watch TV
1700-1800: Surf the net, priority OneManga
1800-2030: Eat dinner with family, watch some TV, continue AEP 'O' level paper 4
2030-2330: Play the computer, read a book, get stuff for Monday
2330: Sleep

Sunday
0700-0800: Wake up & go for a jog around neighbourhood
0800-0900: Rest, shower, breakfast
0900-1200: Pure homework & Mugging
1200-1300: Lunch, watch TV
1300-1700: Pure homework & Mugging
1700-1800: Nap
1800-2000: Dinner with family
2000-2200: Pure homework & Mugging, if got time play some computer
2200-2230: Get ready for school the next day, wallow in self-pity, read a book

If my life were like that, I think I can barely manage. Problem is, I'm STILL FUCKING SICK. EVERYDAY ITS JUST HOMEWORK, REST AND RECOVER, HOMEWORK, SCHOOL, HOMEWORK. Can you not see the more I try to recover, I just get knocked back straight away because I am fucking stressed out of school since I cannot enjoy any sports, games or eat whatever I want. For people like X who can survive on 5-6hrs of sleep or whatever, I CAN'T. I'll get sick, tired and sleepy the next day at school, which leads to having to study at night cause I cannot pick up what the teacher taught. I have no time for myself anymore. At least this blog helps. If only more people read it and help me out in a better way. I'm a teenager Goddammit. I sound like a complain king right now... I know every student in SG might feel the same way too. Sorry.

Music & no lyrics?

You know how everyone's blog has some music player or vid that plays immediately when you visit? I think it's super annoying. But that's obvious. Everyone has their own taste of music. Everyone wants other people to support their type of music, to like it with them. Don't know why, I just have a non-teenagerish taste in music. I mean sure I do like Green Day and Justin woodenleg or whatever like NORMAL people do, but I have less popular music that I usually preserve to myself. Not just choir pieces, I listen to game soundtracks too. Not just Halo or FPSs and more popular games like L4D2. Yeah I'm talking about runescape & age of mythology here. Of course, a lot of people laugh at me and say that kind of music sucks or whatever, or tell me to stop listening to lame music. They make me feel embarrassed about my music. I don't want to be anymore. So screw all those people who tell me to stop playing runescape, grow up or whatever the hell. I mean why the fuck would anyone want to slash fucking zombies with a guitar. At the end of the day, the most fun I have is with games like Kameo or Age of Mythology. Maybe for now, maybe forever. I got to make it clear now that MY TASTE CAN CHANGE.

Here is an example of age of mythology music. I like all of them by the way. In this genre includes all the age of mythology music, age of empires music and runescape music.
Why do I think its awesome? Cause 1. Its relevant to the theme of ancient. 2. Its very very relaxing 3. It really brings me back to not just the game but the simple life the ancient civilizations had. 4. The complexity and depth is immense, with both epic, heroic and humble, simple movements to each piece. The build up to climaxes is awesome too. Whenever I hear it, I just immerse myself into the subtle, nostalgic instrumental/choir. I don't know why I just feel good just closing my eyes and listening to the sound. This is not my favourite of all the AOM music, per se, I just randomly picked this one from youtube. Still awesome though.

I can't swallow

I admit it, I can't swallow big capsules and tablets. It's a mental block I have that hinders my recovery most of the time. Usually it isn't that bad because I just break it up first or let it dissolve abit in my mouth. Don't say things like "just swallow la!" because its not helpful at all. Seriously, it's like asking a mentally retarded guy to "Just think la!" I mean wtf, obviously he can't just change all of a sudden. The problem is now I'm a little more grown up so not swallowing my anti-biotic is preventing me from recovering at all. It's really annoying that my illness is not aggravating nor is it declining. Its just the same every single day. That's bad. Like I've said in earlier posts, I tend to be too consistent, which is bad cause I don't improve. So this is the same case. It's like everyday I breathe deeper to try and feel if I've got phlegm left, and I don't feel it but 5 mins later its back, and its a really big blow to my hope. One more day of the weekends and its back to school. Its so frustrating! Its like I'm not sick enough to stay home but not healthy enough to eat whatever I want or play sports. Seriously this fucking sucks. If I was well I think I could cope with the stress...

More pics from my old collection. Sorry that I can't upload newer pics. Seeing as I'm not really up and about am I...?

Taking a leaf out of someone's book

I was always and am a copying machine. But maybe I'm just unique in that I'm a mesh of everyone else. Everyone special.  Everyone who matters to me. In fact before I restarted this blog I took a good look at my friends' blogs. At first this characteristic of mine was instinctive and natural. I didn't control it at all. Even now I can't help but copy even in the slightest bit. What I can control is my ability to 'replay' some of these copies. Like how some of my friends still think I act like our glorious yearbook leader, especially around him. Nowadays my natural tone and voice is a mesh of several people. People whom know me well should understand what I mean. Like when I tell certain types of jokes I use our glorious yearbook leader's voice and actions or that John Loh's. But it doesn't mean I just copy my good friends. Whom I copy are probably a subset. Some people do influence me but I do not copy them because their sometimes hard to copy, or I 'disagree' with their voice or action. Haha. I've been talking a lot of confusing shyt. Basically, I copy voice, tone, actions, style, personalities generally better than other people, according to my friends.

It isn't a bad thing. It's good. It means I learn and absorb things that I think are good. Its not being unoriginal, it's being smart. I don't idolize anyone person, I analyze different things and take the pros but not the cons. Haha, sounds like VAT. And it probably is. Anyone certain people's blog posts have some cheem cheem poem behind that I actually don't really like. But I'll try it for my own entertainment.

There is a glint of envy in my eyes
That I cannot deny to people
All around me.

But my pride is above that,
It will rise above jealousy
And turn it into strength.

Thank X for helping me realize that. I constantly tell myself now, slow down Li Keen.

Pure relaxation

WHAT AN EXCITING DAY! No la just kidding lol. Decided to stay home and I'm feeling better already. Told myself to go for pure relaxation and totally forget about work. So I did just that. In the end I slept 12 hours straight since last night and slept another 3hrs++ this afternoon. It turns out I'm freaking tired. I was waiting for a day like this! Even my weekends are too busy. Since I had nothing to do, I decided to try and get my mac installed with xp after reading in digital life about it. I had known I could since Rifdi told me but then didn't try cause I didn't have time nor was the mac totally mine. I found some old mousepads and a new mouse I didn't use with CPI of about 600 I think...Not bad bah. Although that wireless mouse for the mac is freaking 800. Dam pro. I also made a huge mistake backing up my mac with time machine on my hard disk. Its not that no space. Its because now I can't read it on windows. But nevermind, whats done is done, anyway now can use it for pure backing up of mac to install windows. Just found out my mac only has about 11GB of space left. What the doos!? Going ask my elder bro if its OK to shift all his episodes of family guy, how I met your mother etc., into my hard disk and leave the space for windows XP. Trouble is I can't find my XP. Sianz, all the tech stuff in my house is dam unorganized.

So, grudgingly I asked the somewhat moody Rifdi to lend me and he was being dam nice today. So I gonna borrow from him. He says he ripped it to lend to other people 的. You know, he usually doesn't like lending people stuff cause he wants all his stuff in mint condition, so to speak. So gotta thank him for being so nice. I think if he had a family like mine he'd understand why I don't mind lending people stuff. I mean both my parents get so excited when they know how do something new with the computers even if its like looking at my bro's facebook. To us its a norm. Even my elder bro when he got the mac he was like 'WOAH YOU CAN DO THAT?? WHAT THE'. Haha, turns out even though to Rifdi I'm completely tech illiterate I'm the smartest in my house. The thing about stuff spoiling is, it happens. You can't keep everything perfect all the time. I mean of course you want it to be. Maybe its cause rifdi's stuff are all so legit and EX. To me, if I try my best keep something in tip-top shape my family will spoil it. My younger brother already almost spoiled my new Wii motion plus, he scratched my Jet Set Radio Future so badly it can't be played properly on my Xbox and he even spoiled the Xbox itself! He also erased my Transformers on Wii Decepticon save game. I already fighting Optimus Prime wth lol. But nevermind, game is game. I get annoyed by my younger brother spoiling my stuff, that's why I don't like him playing my stuff. Haiz, I can relate to Rifdi de. But again, sometimes its about sharing the joy you know? Sometimes you have to be noble, self-sacrifice, something like that. Cannot keep all the fun and stuff to yourself. You have to be patient with your friends and family.

Haiya tommorow have to go back to school. Back to all my stress. It's killing me liao, hopefully my teacher's be abit lenient on me. I haven't even studied for my physics revision test. To all those wishing me well, I thank you a lot. To me, my friends and family are more important than defeating Optimus Prime.

Some of my old photos with my Canon Compact. This one's called Gray-ce. One of the many which contributed my A1 at start of sec 3. Can you see shenton way?

Tonsillitis

You have no idea how many times I've got that sickness in my life. Some people have never even heard of it, but thats usually what I've got when I'm sick. This one is one of the worse. Not because I'm physically very weak (then I probably won't be blogging), but because I'm in sec 4. Oh did I mention I also吐血just now? OK maybe it's quite bad, but it was just a bit. Most of my vomit contained my dinner. Fucking oily shit. Maybe I swallowed too much phlegm. Haiya, what to do sia? I've persistently went to school even with it cause I don't want miss crucial sec4 lesson... Don't know if staying home will help me recover or not. Plus I just went to see doctor. I think I'll wait till morning.

Anyway back to tonsillitis, I think its suppose be some throat infection where I got a lot of bacteria near my tonsils, which in turn results in violent coughing, a whole lot of phlegm and an irritating sore throat. The first time I actually knew it was called tonsillitis was when I went for sec 1 camp with it, had to take anti-biotic and cannot take part in a lot of activities during the camp... Bloody irritating. Did I mention I get sick BEFORE 50% of my camps? Just my luck.

Three things I've learnt from this incident. One, don't EVER forgo your lunch and PLAY TABLE TENNIS FOR 3 HOURS. Two, don't listen to Jin Xiang's pleads to play when you are feeling NAUSEOUS. And Three, don't take of YOUR FREAKING SHIRT and walk around the house sweaty and let the wind blow your back after the above two.  'Nuff said.

A high wall with broken glass protection. Usually if your glass is broken it means someone broke in. This is the traditional way of protecting your home. Of course CISCO was still non-existent back then.

Burnt out

Only two weeks into school and I'm running out of gas. Even after refuelling during weekend, my 2009 end of year reserve diesel in the trunk is already being used. Can I make it down the 9 month road to the examination hall? My consumption is higher than my production much like a command economy, and there are signs that my engine if being overworked. For the past few days I've had some sickness which I can't tell what it is because of the doctor's handwriting. I don't even know if I'm cured or not. Bloody irritating sickness. I don't know what to do with all the stress and not enough unwinding, I wish I had more time to rest this weekend. Its not enough. I have two options, stay like that till I burn out, or increase the effiency of my work, which I don't know how. How do the scholars do it? Its one of those times where I skulk under the unfairness of Eugenics.

Everyone's counting on me to cash in the A1s. But I just can't, how can the school expect me to? Its not like 我的花文和美术突然能出人头地。If I'm burning out now, what will happen during YOG, should I perform at all? I wish I had someone to talk to about this kind of thing, someone who really understands how I feel right now. I remember I burnt out last year because I stayed back every night for night study, then during the end of year exams I just keep playing Age of Empires III. Every year I have the same problem of not putting in all my effort for Major Examinations. I never peak at those moments, I just keep displaying consistent work while my peers shoot up all around me. That might happen if I burn out just before the O levels...How in hell did Jon Teo get 6 A1s and 2 A2s...argh, why everyone so bloody smart.

Single? Double. Stupid McDonalds.

I'm cold not cool part II

Yesterday I talked about how I think you become 'cool'. Some people are 'uncool' and some people are in between, usually those in between get promoted or get demoted at some point. The segregation is clearer at sec 4. Most of these stuff can be undone or fixed, but what for? To join their stupid mutt/paikia gang and forget who you are? Who your real friends are? Here's a list of stuff that will gurantee you get suaned almost all the time. But I'll add my own thoughts.

1. Your fat. Sorry, but humans strive for perfection of their looks. Bad jokes will inevitably spawn about you too. People use you as a metaphor for big. The class stomps the floor and acts like there's an earthquake around you. They think your lazy, they think you don't bother to exercise. Maybe, maybe not. Its OKTO to be fat. Some people are born like that, too bad. Just don't turn out to be like Dudley Dursley. E.g. Adeeb

2. You make bad jokes. You don't joke about people, your jokes require thinking, you make some 'childish' jokes. Anyone of them. The sad part is people laugh about anything jerks say after they get to know him. Even if its funny, if your supposed to make bad jokes, they'll just suan you or ask you to shut up. E.g. Me

3. You know too much about 'uncool' stuff. If you know too much about PHOTOSYNTHESIS, your a mugging fucktard. If you actually read up on RUNESCAPE, you could possibly be the lamest guy ever. No one should hang out with you. Whatever you play don't matter. E.g. Me

4. You have 'uncool' stuff. Your cheap, you don't buy mutt bags from 77th street. You get them for free when they give 'em away. You don't buy from Coverse or Adidas, you go instead to Bata for your shoes. You don't like skulls and Zippo lighters, you conform with school standards and ACTUALLY TUCK IN YOUR SHIRT. =O E.g. Me

5. You don't socialize. You don't have facebook. You go home and mug instead of going out with your friends. You don't even know any girls.

6. Your just different! Whether your kind of gay, play Runescape instead of left 4 dead, you buy cheap earphones from popular instead of challenger.

Never forget who you are. Never give in to society. Never stop having your own fun.
I'm out of time and things to say, so I'll just leave it at here.
The sun sets at Thomson Medical Center

I'm cold not cool part I

Do you qualify as 'cool'? Here's a list of stuff that I think makes you semi-immune from suaning and allows you to hang out with 'cool' assholes people. Having more than one helps.
1. You play a rock instrument. Bass, guitar, drums will put you in that category. Also extra points for showing off on the choir room drum set while people are slacking. E.g. Jon Lee

2. Your stinking rich. Buy all your friends, plenty of Ipods, and Mr 1/high favour not to kick you out of school. Make sure you act aloof, be realll skinny to the bones, and move at a slow pace at all times. I could 'afford' to go there, but I don't want to be a jerk. E.g. I have so many pimples on my face and am fucking skinny but don't care cause I'm rich guy.

3. You were good friends with a current 'cool' guy. This keeps you on good terms with the paikias gang and prevents them from suaning you. E.g. Jun Chong?

4. Your chao fit. Wimps want to be you, other jocks become your good friends, who doesn't want to hang out with you? E.g. Husain

5. You listen to the same punk-ass metal <----by generalizing this Rifdi gonna kill me =P. These include but are not limited to... the Ramones, Green Day, A7X, Metallica, Guns and Roses, Queen, the group I alkali metals, My Chemical Romance, KISS, Alice Cooper, etc etc. Listening means you must buy their albums (not download) and listen to their unpublicised hits as well. Extra points for going their concerts E.g. Clive (though he failed green day if you know what I mean =X)

6. You RULE at soccer. Or any other sport actually, just as long as its played often or is a CCA at school. UNLESS ITS CRICKET. E.g. Hendrik

7. You are inba pro at other 'cool' skills. These include but are not limited to... Photoshop, photography, drawing, bowling, skateboarding, having infinite knowledge about technology and get angry when people don't know as much as you or BUY INFINITY PLUS ONE AMOUNTS OF HEADPHONES. E.g. Marcus, Daniel, Rifdi

8. You are good at suaning. You must be mean, a jerk, an asshole, a bastard and able to strike back when people suan you. Being extra jerkish, meanish, bastardish and assholish helps. E.g. Stomata Underneath

There are many more things that I can add but may not have come to mind now, next time I shall do part II on uncool shyt. That I do. haha. I'm ugly and I'm proud!

All my works are not photoshopped and are in raw form. Its not just about skills and knowledge with the camera. Its about being there and noticing things. Street photography.

"Chill" Li Keen

If that's all counsellors say to their patients, suicide rates will probably quadraple. Being more outspoken towards hating some people has helped a lot. Yes yes we all know that hate is bad. But this anger is much better than in sec one. This one feels gooodd...People often say that getting angry over insults and teases by your friends are weak and moody emo kids. Their not. If they were than there would be no need to punish bullies. Of course they hurt. Especially if their thrown at you at every instant. "Chill Li Keen" <--- From Jon Lee. Bitch. It just makes me more angry. You think "chill" can just solve anything? For example. "YOU LIE OBAMA" (I want everyone to know I support Obama btw). If he had replied "Chill dude!" to that guy, he'd be A. Thrown out of office B. Thrown out of the country or C. Get a shoe thrown at him (haha george bush)You can't just say chill and hope that it makes people stop being angry. Of course, Jon Lee or stomata underneath will probably reply that their 'just joking'. Maybe one day I should tell them to stop it for one day and see how it goes. See whether their really 'just joking'. It's difficult to keep emotions in for too long, it will eat you from the inside. No matter what, we are all human, and worse I'm a teenager, in a stage of my life when my peers are more important than my family.

Stomata underneath tied Jon Lohs shoe to the railing today. What an ARSE-HOLE. Seriously. And once again, that's what she said/epic win spammer laughs madly. I would hate him too for siding with stomata underneath but I don't know, something tells me his not like him. He loves history, has strong environmantalistic values, cracks some pretty wise jokes and isn't that bad a guy without stomata underneath around. His as mean as stomata underneath now though... I hope Jon Loh doesn't emo like me and stays strong against these mean assholes.

You know, its true that when you joke about someone you don't think its hurtful. And I'm pretty weak. I didn't firmly go by not insulting anyone. I have, in order to not get insulted myself. And I didn't think I was hurting him because it was behind his back... but it will, it grows. The dark humor grows. I will continue to be stronger to fight back. My pride has been stabbed but it will recover.

In primary school my teacher told me people insult me because I get angry over it. It's kind of true now, but there are other things now... shall put it in another post bah; this one getting too long,

So to all those people who say 'relax lar likeen' or 'chill man'. Sorry, but Im not a mutt. And I think Jia Lok has the right thing going. His unfaltering principles. He can be abit uptight but its way better than tieing someone's shoes for no reason. Those people should go to hell. sighz if Jia Lok sees me now he'd hate me for using so many vulgarities hehe.

Mysterious floating UFO.

Sports CCA members are so hot they smoke

I got another rude awakening to the attitude of young kids today again. Once again, from my younger brother and his friend. Apparently his friend is in Soccer, and when I mentioned my brother's CCA, arts and craft's club, he laughed with a tinge of arrogance. I said "what's wrong with that?" He replied "That's gay and lame!" You see why I stereotype sport's CCA members? He then asked me what mine was, I said choir and media club, and he didn't even understand lolz. These SHoles from sports ccas think they are so much superior but are actually the dumbest kids on earth, did I forget to mention they go to parkway and smoke, shout at teacher's until they cry and get retained but still couldn't care less? K, sorry bout that. Of course, I've seen plenty of great guys too, like the twins in my class, M&J. They never appeared the least bit arrogant to me, are far better than me in their studies (dang!) and make great friends. Both of them are in hockey. The sad part is they make up only 10% of the people in sports CCAs.

Back to my point on young kids today, I'm quite astonished and, there is no other way to put it, angry at these people. My brother didn't show it openly but you could easily tell he was hurt that his 'best friend' insulted him like that and made him feel weak. He said "I don't care..." with a depressed expression on his face. I knew he was lying. I am ashamed that I was like that too, which was why I didn't want to join choir in primary school. It's deeply saddening to say that even at a young age, sport's CCA members are still as arrogant as white supremacists. I hope my brother takes that comment well and doesn't grow up to be a smoking douchebag, he loves art, and hopefully his so-called friend did not 扼杀his interest in it.

What's heartening to know is that even in an all-boys school, I've never heard anyone say that choir is for gays in my school before. The people who do are being stupid. People like Sean Kingston are from choir, and fyi, YOU listen to his songs or other singers. In case your as dumb as my bro's friend, choir members are also singers, which makes us no different from all the pop-stars and rock singers out there, whom I bet use the same techniques as what we learn in choir. Everyone is different, just because most guys play soccer and don't play with clay or color pencils doesn't mean their gay, heck those idiots are just jealous we actually got an artistic sense that enables us to appreciate the arts.

A form of visual art is photography. This form is called street photography.

'O' 水准年

如果您还不知道，今年是我中学生活最重要的年。对，我在用中文写字。虽然我不喜欢用中语谈天，但是我刚刚学到怎么用电脑写华文，而甚至得到B4的我也不仅‘HaoLian‘我刚学到的东西。而且，今年是'O'水准年，如果我多用华文交通，也许能'scrap'个B3来。我知道B3不算个好成绩，但是一旦中国变成世界上最大的经济，他们也不会看你的L1R5。OK,他们会...对不起，我只是在'Fantasise'不用考'O'水准。哈哈。好了，我在这里停笔吧，我懒惰写中文了。=X

Can't believe I managed that lolz. If your chinese is louzy, just use google translate. (And see how louzy their translations are =P) Btw, HaoLian means show off.

In case you don't know, red and green are contrasting and in AEP terms, 'complimentary' colours. Making this exceptional photography as I not only employed the principal of design 'contrast' I also applied the 'rule of thirds' in photography. However, some idiot is standing in the background and spoiling the greenery. What a douche. Still learning how to control aperture on my D90.

Gradual decline into dependance

I've realized that I'd rather post more often than have one whole big post every week. Kinda like Runescape, whom went for a total updates year in 2009, having frequent but small changes, that to me kept me playing as a free member as they changed a lot of the free member stuff if you count them together. Its kinda annoying of Onemanga to post every saturday the whole jin gang of shonen jump comics but its not really their fault. Still, its annoying. So in case I'm too busy on weekends to post, I'll post whenever I can. Especially now that AEP O levels Paper 1 and 4 have started, and I'll probably be going to landmarks and art galleries around Singapore for research. If your REALLY interested MSN me or something.

Well yesterday I didn't explain clearly what the fight was about. Well you see my neighbour has a kid the same age as my bro, and have become exceptionally good friends, especially since he has a wii and loves naruto and runescape too. The problem is my bro, being more pampered me, who is more pampered than my elder bro, thinks he can just start shouting 'IAN IAN (the neighbour's kid's name)' At like 9, 10 plus PM. If KLYZ reading, thats probally around breakfast/morning time and it no problem, but to my mum and old folks in the neighbourhood, its freaking irritating. Even to me its dang annoying. (Being a good boy n studying) <-----Li Keen action siol. My bro doesn't get it, who cares if some grandma living here gets a heart attack you know? Just as long as I can tell Ian how to do shield of arrav properly itll all be ok. WRONG. But although my mum was scolding for the right reasons. She was being kind of HITLER-ISH. Not explaining her rationale, just asking my bro to go to sleep and stop shouting, slowly increasing her volume and switching from words to cane. It pains me to see my mom angry, however much I find her as irritating as my younger bro. WAH IM SO FILIAL haha XD. jkin.

The root of the problem is that my parents are getting older and thus lazier; instead of patiently teaching about saving, give my younger bro whatever he wants. Which leads to his inconsiderate, impolite and pampered behaviour. Maybe his just like that, maybe its my parents giving him too much stuff and letting him have his way, all I can tell you is that wherever he goes and for whatever he asks for he does it as if his king. His still getting spoon-fed by the maid at primary 3 wat the doos =_=".

Anyways, point is whether its dependance on a drug or chocolate, its all the same. 'You can't have too much of a good thing'? Bullshit. Its bad, no matter what. Impulse control is the name of the game. You can't just blame it on growing up having a pampered childhood. Even if you admit your dependent on your maid or games to sustain your lives (wtf?) it ain't going to help unless you do something about it. Restraint. It may be harmless now but not forever. You CAN live without games for a week. Or two. <---Li Keen is a hippocrite =X.

The beauty about sunsets is not just the orange sun sky but also the added feature of silhouettes.

Watching from the sidelines

My younger brother and mother were shouting at each other again. It's weird you know, it's like my younger brother's got accelerated adolescence. His acting more rebellious than me nowadays. What went wrong with him? Can tell you its not just societie's speed warp into the age of the internet, where from young, kids like my bro start playing Xbox instead of lego, Runescape instead of toy soldiers. It's my parent's inability to move along, too stubborn to adapt and hone their parenting skills to match that of the new millenium, where "tried and true" doesn't always work. Still caning, still enforcing, not bothering to learn more. As in really learn more...my mother boasts to ME that she knows how use all these "hip stuff" like MSN better than my dad. She is no better though, my dad knows about this new age, he doesn't do all the shouting that my mother does, but I get the feeling his more in tune to the new age than my mum is. She doesn't even realize I'm writing a blog right now. Wish I could tell her straight on how to parent properly, but I could be wrong too, plus I was born before the new millenium, when I was caned for not practicing the piano, so I'm a little scared too <----Li Keen's a coward.

Meanwhile, my brother doesn't have to learn piano anymore because my mother thinks she was too hard on me. Maybe she's not sticking to the really "tried and true" method, I don't know. I just have a hunch she is. You want to change your ways? Sometimes you just got to go all out to change it, not step but step. Sometimes approaches to solutions don't work together well, you have to choose one. I'm contradicting myself now. Or maybe I'm tackling different views on the problem. It's not up to me to choose for you reader.

Haiz, I'm getting pretty sick of all the yapping. Especially since it always happens at night, when everyone's cranky, including me. I just want to get some dang sleep for tommorow's test and not even closing the door can block out the screaming. The problem is that the shouting isn't continous, if it was my mind would adapt just like how it partially shuts down when we blink <---cool learnt from bio txtbk. So I wouldn't hear a thing and can sleep soundly, nope, it has to be random fluctuations in my mother's tone for dramatic effect. Haha. Time to get 8 hours, byebye. See you in a week?

Preventive measures against texty blogs, enjoy. Yeah I know my photography is improving =D. Camera got wet though. (Yuck! fish slime!)

Intelligence and arrogance

I'm pretty arrogant. When it doesn't show, it's always in my head, making me stereotype people. It's getting worse though I've tried to remedy it. It's not that I overestimate my own intellect, I'm just underestimating others, I suppose. People who suan me or think I'm some goody two shoes. They push me to brand them as idiots. Some part of me tells me what I'm doing is wrong, but there will always be a part that tells me they are truly idiots, wouldn't you agree?

Some people don't care about their future you know? I can't do that, it's not in my nature, especially having parents with successful lives. Even my elder brother is own his way, with a few scholarships to choose from, a good career and position in the NS, attaining 3As and 3Bs in A levels. "If you think too much about the future you will forget your living in the present." Yah yah, HSM 2 freak. Anyways, I'm not forgetting about living in the present thank you very much. I do go out and play, live life, try new things, new foods, new sports. 'O' Level year now though, and it will be hard to do all of the above.

Something totally unrelated...I wish people would start playing more intellectually based games with me. Strategy games, board games, etc. All those FPS or RPG shit, they don't need much thinking, just skill and time. I know I have a friend out there willing to do these kinds of things, and I really appreciate it. I always have this fear that when I play board games or strategy games with my other friends, they will get bored and want to play stuff like Fifa 09 or Halo 3. People think board games are long, tedious and are for bored people. They think their lame, for family, uncool. I don't think so, I think it requires thinking, smarts, strategy. Almost no one plays it thought, and I'm pretty disheartened. Even real time strategy games on the computer like age of empires and age of mythology don't get a lot of attention. People buy warcraft for dota and not the real thing.

I'm also seeing this link between Geography and History students. I sometimes always find that I get along better with history students than geography students. Plus history students also tend to play these kind of intellectual games like age of mythology and empires. They tend to be interested in plot, story, history of games. Maybe its cause most history students are in 4D 4H? Don't know. But even they do not play board games, though people will play chess, which is heartening. One day I hope, people will just grow up and stop thinking about whats cool and not cool, cause they don't matter to me.

It's going to posting at these kind of times, since school's started and its 'O' level year.

Back to school

Back to school again...I don't know, but I feel like I've grown a lot this holiday. It seems so surreal now, like I was truly happy in a long time. Haiz, now back to school, I'm feeling pretty neutral. For one thing, new things (though not much), and all of us studying together for the final run, the final stretch that resolves four years of study in Victoria. For another, I'm going to face some of my old problems again, like certain green photosynthesising people. Homework.. sadly. Studying. Sadly. I'm really dreading tommorow. Partly cause I haven't really completed my homework. Partly cause there are going to be back to school tests. Maybe. I just don't feel in the mood for anything right now. I just wish I could turn back a clock to the start of the holidays and tell myself everything I've learnt from it. Don't you?