Relook

When I (re-)started this blog, I made the title as such because it's purpose was as such: As an outlet for raging hormones and emotions. To get some inspiration for writing my college essay (sadly), I went to re-look at some random old posts. I talked differently then. And about different things. What changed? I don't know. I was a lot less apathetic. I talked with more enthusiasm, energy and happiness it would seem.

I have a natural ability to imitate others. It has won a fair share of popularity at least for a talent that can bring about smiles. But sometimes I feel I do it instinctively, out of my control. And it's those times when I kind of wonder who I really am, an amalgamation of other people's personality? Doesn't that kind of, stink? Is this why I prefer to be so Indie all the time? Am I asking too many questions and instead should drink some coffee and get on with my college essay?! Eesh. Perhaps this MC is not just for physical well-being but my mental/psychological one as well.

Coming

Does anyone ever notice the tiny icon next to the title of this web browser? (top left!)

My iPod semi-crashed
My iPhone crashed
My iPod nano doesn't work
My MacBook Pro crashed

Eesh.

My course is over. Soon, I'll be headed... overseas. Then, ORD. Then what.
Transition is the word. To describe National Service for most.

There is nothing wrong, at all, with being alone. Though it should be kept in balance. That itch, where you ask yourself why aren't you outside with friends 'like the rest of them', it's usually overstating the reality. The truth is, there's plenty of perfectly normal people by themselves right now, and you can accept that and just be happy. Be happy to have time to yourself to read a book, or watch a movie, or listen to music, or blog. In an age of instant connectivity, it can seem like lost opportunity that you aren't text-ing your old friend right now, or prowling facebook/twitter etc. but perhaps it's all perspective. Who is to say that really, we need to be on the social web 24/7? Perhaps, one feels like they'd be judged, when others share their weekend experience filled with funtastic outings, scuba diving lessons, clubbing, etc. but really, when other people say they just spent the weekend alone (or don't share anything at all), do you really care? Do you immediately judge and say "wow this person needs to go out more." And if you do, it's time for a bit of soul searching eh? And if you don't, well hey that's precisely the point; ironically, people just don't really care how you live your life right? You're not the center of the universe. When you're sitting alone at a hawker center or cafe, you could very well just be background to others, just a passerby. Nobody's really looking at you and going "wow this person must be really lonely", especially not strangers. That'd be pretty screwed up of them wouldn't you say?

Wow. That paragraph went on a little longer than I envisioned. I talk a lot. Inside my head. Or maybe, I'm just more outspoken about it.

#94 tumblrs
I always check back, maybe once a week or so. It's really strange, I'm no longer close/in contact with the people whose blogs I'm still visiting, yet I can feel a connection to what they post... it's surreal. A theatre group once did an act whereby members of the audience were given 15 minutes with the actors or actresses, completely private conversations. In some cases, the hugged or gave light kisses, and the point of the show was to show, how between complete strangers, there can be real intimacy in a few minutes. I love it because I do believe in the maxim, strangers are just friends you haven't met yet. I have once again, digressed.
keepingcomposure.tumblr.com
potentpoison.tumblr.com
visualsecrets.tumblr.com

#95 Sonder

n. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness—an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.

My current favourite word, from the dictionary of obscure sorrows.