I have some old tags like 'music' and 'photography' lying around even though their original purpose - to indicate music I'm sharing, has largely been lost.
So let's make an exception today.
I'm playing it right now, instead of being at a big concert with a room full of mostly probably nice people but whom I probably clique less with. It's fine. I am very much in the mood for just relaxing by the room's fireplace and listening to chill instrumental SG music which I doubt Conor would like spectacularly but hey, it's ok. I don't expect very many people to like all this music anyway. People that I probably clique more with.
Honestly, this song is so... good. It's a particular kind of cheesy, like Explosions in the Sky I think, that is sincere because it is complex.
I'm playing Chocolate and the Lovelorn Girl now. So enjoyably cheesy soundtrack-y and all the things I can't describe and have yet to find, outside of Rifdi and Marcus, who enjoy it. And I think even Chocolate is very particular to me. It's almost like a song that literally only I like very much. It's what makes it so powerful and unforgettable.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Didn't have the stamina to finish that, maybe I'll post on the plane even though I don't want to.
Showing posts with label music. Show all posts
Showing posts with label music. Show all posts
Friday, 16 December 2016
Friday, 9 December 2016
Just Another Winter
An imbalance of chemicals in my bloodstream.
Last year, around the same time, the exact same (or very similar) thing.
But this is the harshness and beauty of the winter, or actually, the year's end, an arbitrary cosmological phenomenon with real artificial meaning. I have always known I'm exceptional. In a 'different' from other people kind of way. Part of the reason is an unforced error of instinct - the need to be contrarian, Nietzsche-like.
I have 7 minutes or so before my bus comes for me to move on.
Very dramatic isn't it? In the end though, I've always reverted to my favourite outlet - anger, music, and angry music. But also solemness and morality, because I know I couldn't be myself if I wasn't exceptionally, stubbornly ethical. It's obviously an arrogant thing to say, but I sometimes think other people, the more privileged perhaps, have never actually had to make an ethical decision. Such a decision is never the confluence of other good things, or selfish things and an ethical position. Such a decision only validates itself, 'strengthens' your ethical 'institutions' (throwing some poli sci here where the individual is the state) when they are diametrically opposed. When taking the hit is not what you want or what would benefit you short-term or superficially. But I know that for me, taking it has never been detrimental, nay it is what enriches my soul and have faith in my character.
And no, this isn't lying either, this is what I want. What I want, and have always wanted, is to do the right thing and not be sulky about it. If you are happy, I am happy - or fulfilled.
Time to put on the angry music and go to SPAC, maybe bang the drums.
Last year, around the same time, the exact same (or very similar) thing.
But this is the harshness and beauty of the winter, or actually, the year's end, an arbitrary cosmological phenomenon with real artificial meaning. I have always known I'm exceptional. In a 'different' from other people kind of way. Part of the reason is an unforced error of instinct - the need to be contrarian, Nietzsche-like.
I have 7 minutes or so before my bus comes for me to move on.
Very dramatic isn't it? In the end though, I've always reverted to my favourite outlet - anger, music, and angry music. But also solemness and morality, because I know I couldn't be myself if I wasn't exceptionally, stubbornly ethical. It's obviously an arrogant thing to say, but I sometimes think other people, the more privileged perhaps, have never actually had to make an ethical decision. Such a decision is never the confluence of other good things, or selfish things and an ethical position. Such a decision only validates itself, 'strengthens' your ethical 'institutions' (throwing some poli sci here where the individual is the state) when they are diametrically opposed. When taking the hit is not what you want or what would benefit you short-term or superficially. But I know that for me, taking it has never been detrimental, nay it is what enriches my soul and have faith in my character.
And no, this isn't lying either, this is what I want. What I want, and have always wanted, is to do the right thing and not be sulky about it. If you are happy, I am happy - or fulfilled.
Time to put on the angry music and go to SPAC, maybe bang the drums.
Monday, 25 April 2016
Missed
This post is for the missed chances. If there is such a thing.
~
I talked with my roommate again. I enjoy his musings and quiet, contemplative company, and wish I could reciprocate in mandarin. He is a good friend and gentle soul. If I could, I would give him more time and more hugs.
We talked about Robert Frost's road less traveled, or at least I did. With Pumai back then too. I was trying to explain that people misinterpret the poem as some inspiration to be 'daring' or an 'outlier'. The truth is that I was mistaken as much as everyone else. The poem was conceived as almost ironical - Frost was demonstrating our minds tendencies to fantasize and obsess over missed opportunities at what not. They are unchangeable and contingent, we move on a whim.
~
Although I feel... dissatisfied as a whole (I am not complaining) I loved talking to Alex on our way to World Market and back, stopping for coffee (duh). Sometimes she would stare into space, and I'm honestly left a little lost - am I boring? Or too uncomfortable in silence still? Regardless, I tend to 'over-find' meaning in simple excursions like that. Over-eager melancholy perhaps. And once again I failed to stop myself from sharing too much of my thoughts. I lust for knowledge and connection.
~
Yet another HTHT, this time with Shanshan. She's very thoughtful and sweet/charming. And actually hilarious. Hanging out with Singaporeans have always left me feeling warmer and steadier. "But...but, they're girls!" was the honest to god, simple answer that I needed.
~
I was looking through my blog statistics when I realized to my dismay I ignored YY's comment in an earlier post. I supposedly pride myself a little in taking care to address everyone and yet I failed to see that...fuck. What a missed chance at good conversation if she doesn't reply... I still remember going with YY to the museum and having delicious honey latte nearby, and her blog is always a joy. If only there were more time for that. If only I was paying attention instead of wallowing in self-doubt at the time.
~
#83 Samurai Jack
Another cartoon reminder.
Samurai Jack is perhaps my favourite cartoon of all time. Even before Naruto and his dramatic 'overcoming' of everything, Jack was quietly, stoically overcoming. I identify strongly with those moments of solitude and hidden strength, his wondrous adventures meeting strangers that would become friends, that he would serve unquestionably and nobly. I was taught, for better or for worse, by cartoons like Samurai Jack. Artfully silent and beautifully unique, Jack was alone in a messy and foreign world, and he felt real in his struggle to hold on to his beliefs and fortitude. The villain Aku, being part comic relief, served as a nihilistic reminder to me, that we can laugh over drama too, and yet those values we hold are still important. The show was never finished, and even that is symbolic. The cartoon will be missed.
~
I talked with my roommate again. I enjoy his musings and quiet, contemplative company, and wish I could reciprocate in mandarin. He is a good friend and gentle soul. If I could, I would give him more time and more hugs.
We talked about Robert Frost's road less traveled, or at least I did. With Pumai back then too. I was trying to explain that people misinterpret the poem as some inspiration to be 'daring' or an 'outlier'. The truth is that I was mistaken as much as everyone else. The poem was conceived as almost ironical - Frost was demonstrating our minds tendencies to fantasize and obsess over missed opportunities at what not. They are unchangeable and contingent, we move on a whim.
~
Although I feel... dissatisfied as a whole (I am not complaining) I loved talking to Alex on our way to World Market and back, stopping for coffee (duh). Sometimes she would stare into space, and I'm honestly left a little lost - am I boring? Or too uncomfortable in silence still? Regardless, I tend to 'over-find' meaning in simple excursions like that. Over-eager melancholy perhaps. And once again I failed to stop myself from sharing too much of my thoughts. I lust for knowledge and connection.
~
Yet another HTHT, this time with Shanshan. She's very thoughtful and sweet/charming. And actually hilarious. Hanging out with Singaporeans have always left me feeling warmer and steadier. "But...but, they're girls!" was the honest to god, simple answer that I needed.
~
I was looking through my blog statistics when I realized to my dismay I ignored YY's comment in an earlier post. I supposedly pride myself a little in taking care to address everyone and yet I failed to see that...fuck. What a missed chance at good conversation if she doesn't reply... I still remember going with YY to the museum and having delicious honey latte nearby, and her blog is always a joy. If only there were more time for that. If only I was paying attention instead of wallowing in self-doubt at the time.
~
#83 Samurai Jack
Another cartoon reminder.
Samurai Jack is perhaps my favourite cartoon of all time. Even before Naruto and his dramatic 'overcoming' of everything, Jack was quietly, stoically overcoming. I identify strongly with those moments of solitude and hidden strength, his wondrous adventures meeting strangers that would become friends, that he would serve unquestionably and nobly. I was taught, for better or for worse, by cartoons like Samurai Jack. Artfully silent and beautifully unique, Jack was alone in a messy and foreign world, and he felt real in his struggle to hold on to his beliefs and fortitude. The villain Aku, being part comic relief, served as a nihilistic reminder to me, that we can laugh over drama too, and yet those values we hold are still important. The show was never finished, and even that is symbolic. The cartoon will be missed.
Monday, 13 October 2014
A Chilled House
Yesterday, my family had a big fight.
My family always had fights before, and the temper usually flares with my mother first. Now yes, I know what you're thinking, what a biased thing to say right? How can it always be my mother's fault? I'm not sure about other families, but in mine, the boys (and there are 4 of us, my dad and three sons) are bulwarks of silent neutrality. Often it's my mum shouting at my housekeeper for incompetence, or (last time) my younger brother for lack of discipline and sometimes recently, my elder brother for machine-gun vulgarities. I would like to say that I haven't invoked her wrath before, but that isn't true. I'm guilty of saying some pretty hurtful things, usually in response to her wrath, which probably only incites it further. I'm no Jesus, my rebukes ain't going to cure no one's soul. It's usually me venting my frustration at her constant shouting (which is ironic) when I'm just trying to have some peace or sleep at home. This fight however, puts more pronounced blame on me.
A man came to install a new modem that would allow us to use the new optic-fibre network while I was playing Civ V. (And so was my brother) My mother is as usual pandering to guests like a true businesswoman. After he leaves, the usual call for tech support from none other than me is made.
For reasons not entirely known to me, I felt a deep inclination to let my dad and younger brother handle the wiring as my mother begged me to help them. Maybe I reached my breaking point of annoyance that my mom refuses to learn anything technical on the basis that she can't (this to me, is a huge cop-out/show of laziness) nor her acknowledgement that anyone other than me is able to fix anything with electricity in the house. I was vindicated in this whim when eventually, my father and younger brother hooked up the wires without my help. If you want to know what they did, it was basically, and I am not exaggerating, putting Ethernet cables into the ports in the modem. I REALLY cannot fathom how difficult this task is and in fact, whenever I do it, my father would decide to re-arrange the cables anyway to make it neater. My mother's so called technological helplessness irked me further.
Soon, begging became sarcastic remarks, shouting, nostril flaring and I made the mistake of doing the natural thing when my mom starts getting angry - I do my best to ignore her. It usually works because I am not the person the anger is directed at but in this case, it was. Also, may I refer you to the Big Bang Theory episode where Penny gets addicted to video games? It is a natural escape, including for domestic problems people don't want to deal with. My mom usually then calms down and normal relations resume. So yes, I was the un-filial son who ignored my family's non-existent need for my help. Worse, I decided to let myself go and spout a few vulgarities about PMS-ing. To say I regret doing so would be lying because unfortunately for me, I am endowed with a tendency for justice and to a degree, vengeance. Petty? Let's just say I would not stand by if I see someone get bullied as much as I would not stand by if I was the wrong-ed party. Later I would know through my father that my mother was having an existential angst that her kids were just going to ignore her pleas when they were older and more helpless.
Usually when such a breakdown happens and I am partially to blame, I would summon the courage to say I was sorry, out of pragmatism and humility. However, I knew very well in my heart that for this situation, apologizing would just feed my mother's vindication in her absolute correct-ness in everything. I know this because I have her genes. The problem is that I often disagree with what I believe is her flawed thinking.
So what am I left with?
Drama serials and children's shows would likely point me into the direction of guilt admission and apologies, followed by "I've learnt my lesson and will choose to be a dutiful and grateful son who forever repays his infinite debt to his all-loving parents." Fucking. Rubbish. The Asian stereotype and portrayal of parents is misunderstood, stern but loving tiger moms and dads who 'know best'. I am logically inclined to be grateful for what my parents have given me because my brain tells me so. Is it wrong though, that I don't feel it in my heart? Is it wrong that all I remember about my childhood are parents who have focused on giving me independence while (mom) shouting at my other brothers, or the maid, or me (back in the day)? I have sworn not to abandon my parents out of a sense of duty and honour rather than something I 'feel' I should do. In other words, if I didn't do it, I wouldn't feel sorry. At least for my mother.
Pride is the greatest sin.
I feel like I could go on. Or maybe I couldn't. I feel like the stereotypical hormonally charged teen (who is no longer a teen) who feels misunderstood by his/her parents. And how can I not really? When they don't know my girlfriend's name or that we broke up or that inside I feel pretty fucked up and that's probably why I listen to so much rock. (because pop is like synthesized happy bullshit)
Need to write some poetry again.
My family always had fights before, and the temper usually flares with my mother first. Now yes, I know what you're thinking, what a biased thing to say right? How can it always be my mother's fault? I'm not sure about other families, but in mine, the boys (and there are 4 of us, my dad and three sons) are bulwarks of silent neutrality. Often it's my mum shouting at my housekeeper for incompetence, or (last time) my younger brother for lack of discipline and sometimes recently, my elder brother for machine-gun vulgarities. I would like to say that I haven't invoked her wrath before, but that isn't true. I'm guilty of saying some pretty hurtful things, usually in response to her wrath, which probably only incites it further. I'm no Jesus, my rebukes ain't going to cure no one's soul. It's usually me venting my frustration at her constant shouting (which is ironic) when I'm just trying to have some peace or sleep at home. This fight however, puts more pronounced blame on me.
A man came to install a new modem that would allow us to use the new optic-fibre network while I was playing Civ V. (And so was my brother) My mother is as usual pandering to guests like a true businesswoman. After he leaves, the usual call for tech support from none other than me is made.
For reasons not entirely known to me, I felt a deep inclination to let my dad and younger brother handle the wiring as my mother begged me to help them. Maybe I reached my breaking point of annoyance that my mom refuses to learn anything technical on the basis that she can't (this to me, is a huge cop-out/show of laziness) nor her acknowledgement that anyone other than me is able to fix anything with electricity in the house. I was vindicated in this whim when eventually, my father and younger brother hooked up the wires without my help. If you want to know what they did, it was basically, and I am not exaggerating, putting Ethernet cables into the ports in the modem. I REALLY cannot fathom how difficult this task is and in fact, whenever I do it, my father would decide to re-arrange the cables anyway to make it neater. My mother's so called technological helplessness irked me further.
Soon, begging became sarcastic remarks, shouting, nostril flaring and I made the mistake of doing the natural thing when my mom starts getting angry - I do my best to ignore her. It usually works because I am not the person the anger is directed at but in this case, it was. Also, may I refer you to the Big Bang Theory episode where Penny gets addicted to video games? It is a natural escape, including for domestic problems people don't want to deal with. My mom usually then calms down and normal relations resume. So yes, I was the un-filial son who ignored my family's non-existent need for my help. Worse, I decided to let myself go and spout a few vulgarities about PMS-ing. To say I regret doing so would be lying because unfortunately for me, I am endowed with a tendency for justice and to a degree, vengeance. Petty? Let's just say I would not stand by if I see someone get bullied as much as I would not stand by if I was the wrong-ed party. Later I would know through my father that my mother was having an existential angst that her kids were just going to ignore her pleas when they were older and more helpless.
Usually when such a breakdown happens and I am partially to blame, I would summon the courage to say I was sorry, out of pragmatism and humility. However, I knew very well in my heart that for this situation, apologizing would just feed my mother's vindication in her absolute correct-ness in everything. I know this because I have her genes. The problem is that I often disagree with what I believe is her flawed thinking.
So what am I left with?
Drama serials and children's shows would likely point me into the direction of guilt admission and apologies, followed by "I've learnt my lesson and will choose to be a dutiful and grateful son who forever repays his infinite debt to his all-loving parents." Fucking. Rubbish. The Asian stereotype and portrayal of parents is misunderstood, stern but loving tiger moms and dads who 'know best'. I am logically inclined to be grateful for what my parents have given me because my brain tells me so. Is it wrong though, that I don't feel it in my heart? Is it wrong that all I remember about my childhood are parents who have focused on giving me independence while (mom) shouting at my other brothers, or the maid, or me (back in the day)? I have sworn not to abandon my parents out of a sense of duty and honour rather than something I 'feel' I should do. In other words, if I didn't do it, I wouldn't feel sorry. At least for my mother.
Pride is the greatest sin.
I feel like I could go on. Or maybe I couldn't. I feel like the stereotypical hormonally charged teen (who is no longer a teen) who feels misunderstood by his/her parents. And how can I not really? When they don't know my girlfriend's name or that we broke up or that inside I feel pretty fucked up and that's probably why I listen to so much rock. (because pop is like synthesized happy bullshit)
Need to write some poetry again.
Wednesday, 8 October 2014
Winter
http://thoughtcatalog.com/stacey-becker/2014/10/20-things-you-should-know-about-dating-an-independent-girl/
Friend commented "Largely applies to independent guys as well."
I concur. And I'm pretty independent. Just saying. Maybe she was too.
#93 Instrumental Music
My old friend and budding (visual) artist sayeth
this is part of my campaign to make post rock the new world order
There's something ephemeral about the quality.
We think in words, i.e in our primary language, but when I think of instrumentals, I can only hear music, and see the title, like an indie music video on youtube. It's like that simple title is all that's needed.
Friend commented "Largely applies to independent guys as well."
I concur. And I'm pretty independent. Just saying. Maybe she was too.
#93 Instrumental Music
My old friend and budding (visual) artist sayeth
this is part of my campaign to make post rock the new world order
There's something ephemeral about the quality.
We think in words, i.e in our primary language, but when I think of instrumentals, I can only hear music, and see the title, like an indie music video on youtube. It's like that simple title is all that's needed.
Monday, 6 October 2014
Numb
I usually blog in quiet nowadays.
At 2AM, or 7AM or on a work day. But I've waited for a long time to no avail of such an opportunity.
In pursuit of my future (at last), I've decided to take time off, from everything, to read. I've got five books and I'm currently halfway into the fourth at the end of the third week or so. Somewhere in my head a voice screams that my attempt is vain - no, there isn't any way to get my writing score up in time to get into a good US college.
Perhaps, but I'll still try. Regardless, the seclusion has affected my everyday experience significantly.
In pursuit of my future (at last), I've decided to take time off, from everything, to read. I've got five books and I'm currently halfway into the fourth at the end of the third week or so. Somewhere in my head a voice screams that my attempt is vain - no, there isn't any way to get my writing score up in time to get into a good US college.
Perhaps, but I'll still try. Regardless, the seclusion has affected my everyday experience significantly.
ENFJ. I once read that such people should not be left alone, because they tend to harbor dark thoughts despite their strange nature to be both an extrovert but good at introspection. I have found this to be true in my experience. I often tend to go through month long cycles of social activity (I'm such a nerd, eesh) and then step back and kind of just do my own thing for an equally long period. Often, I get tired out by one of the other and hence switch to the other.
For a few months now, I've been going out every day of the weekend with different groups of friends. It was nice to feel busy, to feel involved, going somewhere. Where I was really going, I'm not sure, but I knew it would end. Finally one day I realized that NS was ending, and I had to think long and hard, of what to do next, and how to prepare for it. Suddenly, my friends were heading overseas and my fellow officers were disappearing from the battalion through offs and leave, I had an understudy and no longer was I needed so much in branch; suddenly, I was alone but free.
I've always known my contradictory outlook of life - I hate unnecessary drama, but often in my own head I'm creating a whole lot of it. To put it into an analogy, take this blog. A person who doesn't know me personally and who reads it will likely think I probably like drama flicks, am emotionally attached and acute, am the touchy cry-ey type, etc. If you DO know me, you'll know I'm quite the opposite, and I rather think such types are weak and insecure.
Ah, I've made the cardinal problem with my essays thus far - digressing and going nowhere.
I was beating around the bush.
Last week, I broke up with Melissa. Why? I'm certain it was for a few reasons. One, is my current state of wanting to be by myself and just reading a little. Two, it was not lost on me how different our personalities and outlook were, this probably being the strongest point. Three... well I can't think of any but three's apparently the minimum number of points to give in an essay so three - I had a nudge, a feeling it wasn't right to wait any longer.
She said "I really like you, you're a nice guy." That's not going to cut it... because I know there are plenty of nice guys out there, so what makes me special? Do I really make her happy? Am I happy? The whole thing was a little too polite. I'm not looking for drama, I think it's stupid and unnecessary. But I felt nothing. I wasn't lying what I wrote in her card, or told her, that she's lovely, a listening ear and pretty. And even now, I feel nothing.
I feel terrible because I don't want to hurt her, but I also knew somehow it was now or worse later. I also know perhaps I was expecting too much. I wouldn't know.
I asked myself a few times already these days - am I depressed? Maybe. Couldn't care less though, am not suicidal and life goes on right? Recently I've not been able to stir any excitement in me (aside from learning about all the Gods in American Gods, which I had recently finished). What excitement? That excitement, of the weekend trip you're looking forward to, of that album you can't wait for, of discovering something cool. Enough excitement that I would want to wake up early.
Coffee has been an artificial sweetener to my life. I'm probably addicted to the stuff.
Right now, I need someone to talk to. Someone that listens to indie rock, reads widely and wouldn't mind a good beer or coffee. At the moment, that person doesn't exist. I'd settle for a person who can help me do college apps though...
That's going to suffice for now.
That's going to suffice for now.
This is really good... and not just to describe my feelings melodiously.
Tuesday, 19 August 2014
#99
Local Indie Music that's Goooooddd
Great Spy Experiment
In Each Hand A Cutlass
Cashew Chemists
Electrico
Stopgap
Inch Chua
A Vacant Affair
Wyd:Syd
Caracal
Amateur Takes Control
Run Neon Tiger
Pitch Feather
The list goes on.
Great Spy Experiment
In Each Hand A Cutlass
Cashew Chemists
Electrico
Stopgap
Inch Chua
A Vacant Affair
Wyd:Syd
Caracal
Amateur Takes Control
Run Neon Tiger
Pitch Feather
The list goes on.
Monday, 19 November 2012
The Republic(an) of Singapore
A question I asked myself recently was which political parties in Singapore were left-leaning and which were right-leaning.
The straightforward conclusion from what I believe was merely a 5 minute pondering session (which implies that I accept that I'm no expert on the issue) is that the PAP is right-wing, ie the Republicans, and the WP is left-wing, ie the Democrats. (while the rest of the parties are pretty much fringe parties, that fit here and there, and are a little extreme)
This was slightly surprising to me, because I generally support the democrats in America, but the PAP in Singapore (overall to run the country, but if it were my own constituency, I might consider the WP if they field good candidates and the PAP don't. I also believe very strongly that parliament needs more opposition voices), so I wondered if this was a contradiction. (The last political survey http://www.politicalcompass.org/test I took btw, put me very slightly left of center)
But not really, I figured. Because there are very large differences between the Republicans and the PAP.
Firstly is moderation, which the current Grand Old Party (GOP, Republicans) lacks very much with all their tea-partying primaries.
Second is secularism, which yes, the Republicans logically support because they are fervent believers in the constitution. But in practice, it's really a we-are-more-christian-than-the-democrats affair. It bothers me because their political attacks can sometimes include 'Obama is a muslim'. I mean seriously...
Third is well... put it this way: They have extremely stupid members. (Not all, I stress, and it is my hope that they will ultimately restore the party)
I realize this is a rather ad hominen attack. But it's extremely frustrating that that there are people who think abortion, global warming... well yeah you pretty much know the whole story. And these same people. Sit on the committee of science.
I sincerely wish the Republican party somehow reclaims their sanity and open-mindedness, because I'm no great fan of the expenditure-crazy Democrats.
The straightforward conclusion from what I believe was merely a 5 minute pondering session (which implies that I accept that I'm no expert on the issue) is that the PAP is right-wing, ie the Republicans, and the WP is left-wing, ie the Democrats. (while the rest of the parties are pretty much fringe parties, that fit here and there, and are a little extreme)
This was slightly surprising to me, because I generally support the democrats in America, but the PAP in Singapore (overall to run the country, but if it were my own constituency, I might consider the WP if they field good candidates and the PAP don't. I also believe very strongly that parliament needs more opposition voices), so I wondered if this was a contradiction. (The last political survey http://www.politicalcompass.org/test I took btw, put me very slightly left of center)
But not really, I figured. Because there are very large differences between the Republicans and the PAP.
Firstly is moderation, which the current Grand Old Party (GOP, Republicans) lacks very much with all their tea-partying primaries.
Second is secularism, which yes, the Republicans logically support because they are fervent believers in the constitution. But in practice, it's really a we-are-more-christian-than-the-democrats affair. It bothers me because their political attacks can sometimes include 'Obama is a muslim'. I mean seriously...
Third is well... put it this way: They have extremely stupid members. (Not all, I stress, and it is my hope that they will ultimately restore the party)
I realize this is a rather ad hominen attack. But it's extremely frustrating that that there are people who think abortion, global warming... well yeah you pretty much know the whole story. And these same people. Sit on the committee of science.
I sincerely wish the Republican party somehow reclaims their sanity and open-mindedness, because I'm no great fan of the expenditure-crazy Democrats.
Tuesday, 30 October 2012
Wandering Wood Final
Then, amazingly clear light breached the thick forest wall of bark - a clearing. And as the traveller approached, his heart raced a natural wonderful excitement. He walked along nearer and nearer... and the undergrowth grew thinner, and the sunlight shown stronger, and the gem on his neck glowed. His obsessive focus on his goal had muffled the background sounds, and now sounds of life pervaded the forest, growing louder as if to cheer him on.
The traveller blinked and gasped and fell to his knees, a most wonderous sight to be hold. He was standing atop a cliff full of daisies and a vast landscape opened before him. All around him, in the valley below, was more of the magnificent and magical forest. The feeling was momentous, an ending he never sought; a dream-like expense.
And as he slowly took it in and peered around, he caught sight of her sitting idly - on the cliff's edge - and with her slender arms planted behind her, leaning backwards. She had unkempt auburn hair flung down her sides and back, just below her shoulders. She was waiting patiently. The traveller slowly walked over as she turned around at the sound of the traveller's steps.
She smiled and asked 'what took you?'
'I was in a hurry.' he replied.
The End
What is this life if full of care, we have no time to stand and stare?
-W.H Davies, 'Leisure'
Urgh. Well I sort of lost steam on the way in an effort to finish. :/ Not sure if you can tell.
It was a pretty bad day today. But they are to be expected.
The traveller blinked and gasped and fell to his knees, a most wonderous sight to be hold. He was standing atop a cliff full of daisies and a vast landscape opened before him. All around him, in the valley below, was more of the magnificent and magical forest. The feeling was momentous, an ending he never sought; a dream-like expense.
And as he slowly took it in and peered around, he caught sight of her sitting idly - on the cliff's edge - and with her slender arms planted behind her, leaning backwards. She had unkempt auburn hair flung down her sides and back, just below her shoulders. She was waiting patiently. The traveller slowly walked over as she turned around at the sound of the traveller's steps.
She smiled and asked 'what took you?'
'I was in a hurry.' he replied.
The End
What is this life if full of care, we have no time to stand and stare?
-W.H Davies, 'Leisure'
Urgh. Well I sort of lost steam on the way in an effort to finish. :/ Not sure if you can tell.
It was a pretty bad day today. But they are to be expected.
Saturday, 27 October 2012
The loss of empathy
There's a speech by Dr. Richard Teo making rounds on facebook. My reaction to it, after reading it, is not inspiration, but a frown.
I'm strange. I'm different. I know it.
I don't disagree with the speech, in fact I say well done to him. But maybe it's because I'm not considering a medical profession, but I don't have this urge to 'share' it.
Firstly I'm skeptical about what that might achieve in the first place.
What is the purpose of sharing something with a profound message? Perhaps it is three fold; one is to show that you agree with it (maybe to see who else is like-minded as well), two, to 'spread' the message and 'convince' others that it is a good philosophy, and three, to give other people a chance to be 'inspired' by it, as you have.
I'm strange. I'm different. I know it.
I don't disagree with the speech, in fact I say well done to him. But maybe it's because I'm not considering a medical profession, but I don't have this urge to 'share' it.
Firstly I'm skeptical about what that might achieve in the first place.
What is the purpose of sharing something with a profound message? Perhaps it is three fold; one is to show that you agree with it (maybe to see who else is like-minded as well), two, to 'spread' the message and 'convince' others that it is a good philosophy, and three, to give other people a chance to be 'inspired' by it, as you have.
To the first, I feel no urgent need to tell people who I am, why should I? I know that its natural, but I don't see the point. In fact, this is the kind of attitude that we've been told not to adopt. The one that seeks approval, seeks recognition, to be extreme. Considering the second, I do not think it'll be of any use. I don't regard my friends as ignorant, I believe that most youth today, and especially my friends, will already know this. Will already know that wealth doesn't bring happiness. (and for the medical part, we need to empathize with patients) And I feel it a little annoying that people have to remind you all the time about things that you know. And all this is compounded by the third purpose. And I think this is where I would diverge from most.
I don't find it impressive.
You heard me right. I'm the kind of cold-hearted bastard who judges speeches and their clichés. Or at least the kind society makes of. I'm just not, 'inspired' by it. I've heard of this kinds of stories before, the kind where the threat of death invokes great introspection and revelation. In fact I got bored of reading it towards the end.
Don't get me wrong. I re-iterate that I agree with him, and he is a great guy. (after realizing he had cancer, I might add) It's just that well, shouldn't people already know this? Doesn't it frighten you that people have to be stricken by horrible ill before they think about their lives? I don't believe any of my friends need reminding of this, nor reminding that I adhere to it.
I've always knew that I could die, I could get cancer, I could lose someone. Anytime. All the time. It is life.
Don't get me wrong. I re-iterate that I agree with him, and he is a great guy. (after realizing he had cancer, I might add) It's just that well, shouldn't people already know this? Doesn't it frighten you that people have to be stricken by horrible ill before they think about their lives? I don't believe any of my friends need reminding of this, nor reminding that I adhere to it.
I've always knew that I could die, I could get cancer, I could lose someone. Anytime. All the time. It is life.
But I also know this - that in the great cosmos, we are but a speck of dust. I'm not a nihilist, I believe we should all try to forward ourselves and humanity. Make a contribution. And actually, I don't believe in 'achieving happiness' as a philosophy. I just don't think it can be achieved. It can only be realized.
Happiness to me, is a state of mind. It is being contented, regardless the circumstance. It is being exceptionally and weirdly optimistic and humorous all the time. It is the person who is suddenly shipwrecked on an uninhabited island in the middle of the Pacific, and says to himself 'well there goes my wedding anniversary plans' and chuckles to himself. It's not pathetic, it's profoundly courageous. It's not letting circumstance destroy you.
So in that big affairs state of mind, perhaps I have numbed a little to the smaller things. The melodrama, the 'struggles' as many say, the Coldplay.
I respect Dr Richard Teo, and I only wish people wouldn't need such stories from other people's lives, or their own, to realize all these virtues that have been repeatedly drilled into us by teachers and family members.
So in that big affairs state of mind, perhaps I have numbed a little to the smaller things. The melodrama, the 'struggles' as many say, the Coldplay.
I respect Dr Richard Teo, and I only wish people wouldn't need such stories from other people's lives, or their own, to realize all these virtues that have been repeatedly drilled into us by teachers and family members.
The whole thing. My gosh. Manly tears.
Tuesday, 23 October 2012
Short Story pt4
It's important to have an artistic outlet.
The traveller unveiled his cloak, ready to meet this strange figure in the forest. He too was walking briskly but was dressed in emerald robes, which were much worn. His wore an expression as battered as his clothing, but with a sense of purpose. Astonished was the traveller, at his remarkable likeness.
Closer he came, but the traveller soon realized he was looking beyond him. His eyes were focused on something so much further that it seemed unfocused up close. The traveller held up his hand to gesture attention, but on he went, unflinching. As he passed the traveller, a mutter was heard 'no time, no time.'
At this the traveller realized his mistake. His ambition was a chore, and his manner anxious. His mood was sour and his feet in a hurry. The traveller decided to sit down. He inhaled the fresh air deeply, and the gem on his neck glowed faintly. He decided this forest was more than an obstacle.
Then he set off again, this time at a more leisurely pace, and stopping to see some strange new species unique to wandering wood. For a long time he went on, but could care less what the time was. He noticed a flower patch in a small clearing where the canopy loosened and light shone on the forest floor. He picked the flowers and wandered when he would finally meet her again... but no rush, no rush. He knew that was what she wanted to travel into these beautiful woods.
End of part 4
I reiterate that the music has nothing to do with the story but its good music regardless.
The traveller unveiled his cloak, ready to meet this strange figure in the forest. He too was walking briskly but was dressed in emerald robes, which were much worn. His wore an expression as battered as his clothing, but with a sense of purpose. Astonished was the traveller, at his remarkable likeness.
Closer he came, but the traveller soon realized he was looking beyond him. His eyes were focused on something so much further that it seemed unfocused up close. The traveller held up his hand to gesture attention, but on he went, unflinching. As he passed the traveller, a mutter was heard 'no time, no time.'
At this the traveller realized his mistake. His ambition was a chore, and his manner anxious. His mood was sour and his feet in a hurry. The traveller decided to sit down. He inhaled the fresh air deeply, and the gem on his neck glowed faintly. He decided this forest was more than an obstacle.
Then he set off again, this time at a more leisurely pace, and stopping to see some strange new species unique to wandering wood. For a long time he went on, but could care less what the time was. He noticed a flower patch in a small clearing where the canopy loosened and light shone on the forest floor. He picked the flowers and wandered when he would finally meet her again... but no rush, no rush. He knew that was what she wanted to travel into these beautiful woods.
End of part 4
I reiterate that the music has nothing to do with the story but its good music regardless.
Saturday, 13 October 2012
Farewell
The end of our formal education.
What to feel?
When to feel?
When to feel?
Why feel?
Simple human questions that I suddenly have to ask myself again.
Call it desensitization or whatever, but overtime it's been apparent that I no longer have to state 'emotional' as a weakness. But I don't know, it just doesn't have to be so dramatic ya know? Life, I mean. Not that you shouldn't let yourself feel happy or even sad. Just not to the point of drama. Simple emotions I mean. And no, you don't HAVE to feel sad about leaving, or being alone. It's a choice most of the time, with a little nudge from hormones here and there. Happiness shouldn't be pursued, it should be realized.
Nowadays I feel most when I listen to music. The emo kind. But even then, not the over-dramatic stuff. It weirds me out sometimes to listen to those. It feels artificial to me sometimes. We can be, we are a lot stronger than most of us want to believe, humility aside.
Simple human questions that I suddenly have to ask myself again.
Call it desensitization or whatever, but overtime it's been apparent that I no longer have to state 'emotional' as a weakness. But I don't know, it just doesn't have to be so dramatic ya know? Life, I mean. Not that you shouldn't let yourself feel happy or even sad. Just not to the point of drama. Simple emotions I mean. And no, you don't HAVE to feel sad about leaving, or being alone. It's a choice most of the time, with a little nudge from hormones here and there. Happiness shouldn't be pursued, it should be realized.
Nowadays I feel most when I listen to music. The emo kind. But even then, not the over-dramatic stuff. It weirds me out sometimes to listen to those. It feels artificial to me sometimes. We can be, we are a lot stronger than most of us want to believe, humility aside.
6E is different from 4D. (Barring the obvious differences like gender ratios and alphabets/numbers) But I love them both and I'll miss them both.
Saving the goodbyes for Grad Night.
Saving the goodbyes for Grad Night.
Yes I know I haven't posted my whole short story. Though I wonder if you find it interesting even.
Thursday, 4 October 2012
The story of the traveller in wandering wood pt 3
The traveller jolted up, awakened by the cold drizzle. He quickly sought cover but was far from any. So instead he clung desperately to a nearby oak that hosted an odd fern; its large leaves providing shallow cover.
The traveller shivered intensely and fell into a curl. He kept his numbed hands close to his chest, all the while clutching tightly to stray pieces of cloak, lest the wind penetrate his drenched apparel. But he needn't have, as they were heavy and damp.
The traveller recalled days at the market, hearing groans and screams as it started to rain heavily. The inexperienced vendors clamoured for flying pieces of silk and wool, worth half their savings. The rain in wandering wood however, was very different. There were no groans and screams, only the pitter and patter of droplets on grateful leaves, the soft symphony of wood creaking and forest litter stirring. And the strong scent of rain that was so familiar but rarely noticed. The traveller shivered again and re-focused his attention on his goal.
The rain stopped and at once the traveller set out in a hopeful general direction. It was well past mid-day when he saw a figure in the distance, and to his great excitement it did not hop or trot or scurry, but walked on two feet as he. Energised and relieved at the same time the traveller jogged over to the figure slowly, only to be awash with great disappointment once more.
End of part 3
Familiar?
The traveller shivered intensely and fell into a curl. He kept his numbed hands close to his chest, all the while clutching tightly to stray pieces of cloak, lest the wind penetrate his drenched apparel. But he needn't have, as they were heavy and damp.
The traveller recalled days at the market, hearing groans and screams as it started to rain heavily. The inexperienced vendors clamoured for flying pieces of silk and wool, worth half their savings. The rain in wandering wood however, was very different. There were no groans and screams, only the pitter and patter of droplets on grateful leaves, the soft symphony of wood creaking and forest litter stirring. And the strong scent of rain that was so familiar but rarely noticed. The traveller shivered again and re-focused his attention on his goal.
The rain stopped and at once the traveller set out in a hopeful general direction. It was well past mid-day when he saw a figure in the distance, and to his great excitement it did not hop or trot or scurry, but walked on two feet as he. Energised and relieved at the same time the traveller jogged over to the figure slowly, only to be awash with great disappointment once more.
End of part 3
Familiar?
Tuesday, 2 October 2012
Short Story pt 2
*Edit: I removed one part which I felt didn't fit and left a less than perfect abrupt jump in the story, too lazy, not being paid.*
The story of the traveller in wandering wood (part 2)
The traveller nodded and without pause, he carried on into the yellow tundra, and the day crawled with him.
Light bathed the forest floors through the crevices in the forest canopy and the traveller was but mere to the towering oaks and pines. But the woods could sense his presence. They (It) did so for all who scurried, for the busy little creatures which disturbed and did not stop to smell the oak and rosemary. The traveller was indifferent to his own indifference however.
And to no avail was his journey, and for naught were his plans. As the moon waxed his footsteps waned, till he stopped and put on a fire for the night. He sat there, staring into its sparks and cinders, twiddling the gem on his neck...
Dancing around daisies... and bowing to smell the prettier ones. The sun shone warmly while a breeze swayed him to a tiptoe. He glimpsed a figure coming towards him frolicking around the field lightly. All of a sudden, it became bitter cold, and the sun disappeared.
Part 2 end
Should be in 5 parts.
In the meantime, a chill song.
The story of the traveller in wandering wood (part 2)
The traveller nodded and without pause, he carried on into the yellow tundra, and the day crawled with him.
Light bathed the forest floors through the crevices in the forest canopy and the traveller was but mere to the towering oaks and pines. But the woods could sense his presence. They (It) did so for all who scurried, for the busy little creatures which disturbed and did not stop to smell the oak and rosemary. The traveller was indifferent to his own indifference however.
And to no avail was his journey, and for naught were his plans. As the moon waxed his footsteps waned, till he stopped and put on a fire for the night. He sat there, staring into its sparks and cinders, twiddling the gem on his neck...
Dancing around daisies... and bowing to smell the prettier ones. The sun shone warmly while a breeze swayed him to a tiptoe. He glimpsed a figure coming towards him frolicking around the field lightly. All of a sudden, it became bitter cold, and the sun disappeared.
Part 2 end
Should be in 5 parts.
In the meantime, a chill song.
Friday, 28 September 2012
I wrote a short story part 1
The categorical imperative suggests that I have an imperfect duty to fulfill to any followers I might have (evidently, I have one complaint already!!)
So here's something I wrote, partially 'inspired' by a song called 'forest dreams' as well as 'daisies and the sun'. Both are piano instrumentals (with a little synthesiser/keyboard backgrounds) produced in the album Piano Spa 6 by Warner Music SG. (I infer that they are composed and played by Singaporeans). I don't think I'm able to post the song (and clearly I can't find them on youtube, which has similarly named but different songs) though. Also 'inspired' by a quote from W.H Davies's poem 'leisure' and an old aborigine saying (got it from the game Civ 5). I wrote it just for fun and for some relaxation from studying... don't expect anything spectacular. It was meant to be read while listening to the two piano songs mentioned and with your eyes closed at times to imagine the scenery. (As I do with a lot of music) I suppose a quiet environment would have a similar effect.
The story of the traveller in wandering wood
The traveller was tall and slim, and had hair hidden underneath his dark and tattered brown hood. He hurried along a leafy road in the wandering woods.
He was the second* to attempt such a feat, that is, to travel into these half-frosted woods. This autumn morn was warm and the wind was brisk, and fresh air pervaded the undergrowth. The traveller had eyes that were hazel as the dirt and wood and all that stood out was a small azure gem that hung around his neck.
He walked on into the day till a tall oak, the tallest of its folk. the traveller unveiled his hands from his cloak and touched the gem on his neck. And it glowed...
And this glow was strange, for it was a silent glow. It was silent because it did not make a sound, but made the whole forest grow louder instead, as if the wind blew just a little harder, and the sparrows chirped a little more noisily. The traveller placed his other hand on the great tree and spoke in his heart, 'where'?
And the tree which was tall and could see, spoke with a croak of a branch, which swung, gently. As if carried by the breeze, it pointed west; or was it just me?
End of Part 1
This song doesn't fit that well so don't listen while reading, but its still awesome... and I like the band.
So here's something I wrote, partially 'inspired' by a song called 'forest dreams' as well as 'daisies and the sun'. Both are piano instrumentals (with a little synthesiser/keyboard backgrounds) produced in the album Piano Spa 6 by Warner Music SG. (I infer that they are composed and played by Singaporeans). I don't think I'm able to post the song (and clearly I can't find them on youtube, which has similarly named but different songs) though. Also 'inspired' by a quote from W.H Davies's poem 'leisure' and an old aborigine saying (got it from the game Civ 5). I wrote it just for fun and for some relaxation from studying... don't expect anything spectacular. It was meant to be read while listening to the two piano songs mentioned and with your eyes closed at times to imagine the scenery. (As I do with a lot of music) I suppose a quiet environment would have a similar effect.
The story of the traveller in wandering wood
The traveller was tall and slim, and had hair hidden underneath his dark and tattered brown hood. He hurried along a leafy road in the wandering woods.
He was the second* to attempt such a feat, that is, to travel into these half-frosted woods. This autumn morn was warm and the wind was brisk, and fresh air pervaded the undergrowth. The traveller had eyes that were hazel as the dirt and wood and all that stood out was a small azure gem that hung around his neck.
He walked on into the day till a tall oak, the tallest of its folk. the traveller unveiled his hands from his cloak and touched the gem on his neck. And it glowed...
And this glow was strange, for it was a silent glow. It was silent because it did not make a sound, but made the whole forest grow louder instead, as if the wind blew just a little harder, and the sparrows chirped a little more noisily. The traveller placed his other hand on the great tree and spoke in his heart, 'where'?
And the tree which was tall and could see, spoke with a croak of a branch, which swung, gently. As if carried by the breeze, it pointed west; or was it just me?
End of Part 1
This song doesn't fit that well so don't listen while reading, but its still awesome... and I like the band.
Wednesday, 29 August 2012
Faded Dotted Lines
Left this post unfinished weeks ago.
Dramatic changes in my mindset since J1. Or have there been any at all?
As a wise man named Marcus once said, thinking is depressing.
Sometimes, in my current style of Rock, don't think, just do, coffee mugging style, I take a pause to think back. Big mistake.
You see the whole basis of such a philosophy works on convincing yourself that many thoughts are an overreaction and are hence, of no value. "I should have done this sooner", "Why can't I seem to get this part?", "Why the hell was I surfing the web for 4 hours?" for example, when referring to mugging. And even on real life situations. "I should have said...", "Why am I so lonely"
The trick is to then imagine the tumblr/9gag/reddit meme showing Yao Ming's face and say 'Fuck that shit.' And move on with yourincomplete tutorials life.
However, I understand still the importance of reflection, just to make sure you're going down the right path. So I do that at times, mostly at night, tired after all the work of the day, or on bus and train rides home, listening to mellow-er music
Philo questions oft appear. One interesting one I asked myself recently was why we find sunsets, sunrises and sun behind clouds... beautiful? Something so illogical isn't it? Perhaps it is because we associate such images with something, just as how biologists postulate that we find certain baby animals cute because of certain subtle features that make it look like human babies, and that stimulates certain brain waves patterns, I wouldn't know.
I forgot exactly what I intended to write for this post :/
The bass on this song (Y)
Dramatic changes in my mindset since J1. Or have there been any at all?
As a wise man named Marcus once said, thinking is depressing.
Sometimes, in my current style of Rock, don't think, just do, coffee mugging style, I take a pause to think back. Big mistake.
You see the whole basis of such a philosophy works on convincing yourself that many thoughts are an overreaction and are hence, of no value. "I should have done this sooner", "Why can't I seem to get this part?", "Why the hell was I surfing the web for 4 hours?" for example, when referring to mugging. And even on real life situations. "I should have said...", "Why am I so lonely"
The trick is to then imagine the tumblr/9gag/reddit meme showing Yao Ming's face and say 'Fuck that shit.' And move on with your
However, I understand still the importance of reflection, just to make sure you're going down the right path. So I do that at times, mostly at night, tired after all the work of the day, or on bus and train rides home, listening to mellow-er music
Philo questions oft appear. One interesting one I asked myself recently was why we find sunsets, sunrises and sun behind clouds... beautiful? Something so illogical isn't it? Perhaps it is because we associate such images with something, just as how biologists postulate that we find certain baby animals cute because of certain subtle features that make it look like human babies, and that stimulates certain brain waves patterns, I wouldn't know.
I forgot exactly what I intended to write for this post :/
The bass on this song (Y)
Sunday, 26 August 2012
Watching on the sides
The 'last day of lessons' ended with a whimper.
We judge how people judge us by judging them.
It's just after midnight and a can of beer with Sprite.
Still dislike the taste. Don't get alcohol. Don't get blackouts either. Perhaps they come in pairs.
"Write down how you think others perceive you" it says on my CV feedback.
What a question. Don't we all want to know?
We shouldn't care. Or at least I think I shouldn't care. And personally I think once you've made up your mind to think a certain way, after careful consideration of everything, you stick to it and don't waste time pondering over it until the next run through of reflections or bout of contradictory evidence. I wonder who reads my blog besides my two felloners <-- I merged fellow and loners together... and they're oxy-morons. K I don't know if they're loners. Neither do I know if I am.
I guess it was a decision not to care too much about being alone that is self-fulfilling.
When you decide that 'you're ok with not hangin' out' with your friends and just heading home to lepak, that's when you push people away. No, not push, more like, encouraging them to find someone else. And it's not because you don't enjoy the company, no I love it, love me friends and all. Just that I'm fine being alone, mostly. Meaning that people will think it more fulfilling, somehow, to spend time with someone else.
Heading to Raja everyday after school, or back to the classroom, by myself. I walk past all the best friends and couples and yeah, plenty of loners too. Problem is I don't know the loners but I know the former two, heh. Which is logical too, I might add.
So I'm bummed yeah, but I'm reminded that life goes on that it applies to the poor children begging of the streets of who-knows-where.
We judge how people judge us by judging them.
It's just after midnight and a can of beer with Sprite.
Still dislike the taste. Don't get alcohol. Don't get blackouts either. Perhaps they come in pairs.
"Write down how you think others perceive you" it says on my CV feedback.
What a question. Don't we all want to know?
We shouldn't care. Or at least I think I shouldn't care. And personally I think once you've made up your mind to think a certain way, after careful consideration of everything, you stick to it and don't waste time pondering over it until the next run through of reflections or bout of contradictory evidence. I wonder who reads my blog besides my two felloners <-- I merged fellow and loners together... and they're oxy-morons. K I don't know if they're loners. Neither do I know if I am.
I guess it was a decision not to care too much about being alone that is self-fulfilling.
When you decide that 'you're ok with not hangin' out' with your friends and just heading home to lepak, that's when you push people away. No, not push, more like, encouraging them to find someone else. And it's not because you don't enjoy the company, no I love it, love me friends and all. Just that I'm fine being alone, mostly. Meaning that people will think it more fulfilling, somehow, to spend time with someone else.
Heading to Raja everyday after school, or back to the classroom, by myself. I walk past all the best friends and couples and yeah, plenty of loners too. Problem is I don't know the loners but I know the former two, heh. Which is logical too, I might add.
So I'm bummed yeah, but I'm reminded that life goes on that it applies to the poor children begging of the streets of who-knows-where.
Saturday, 28 July 2012
Greece and London
Love ancient Greek culture and mythology. Love industrial/modern British culture and history.
Hence, loving the games in London.
Woke up this morning at 3.25AM to catch the live/delayed telecast on Channel 5. Only to realize there was an encore at 6pm. Nobody cares.
Shifting the minor updates, micro-blogging to this site instead of putting it as irrelevant comments on pictures on me tumblr.
Tao Li qualified for Semis woohoo. Found myself excited no matter what sport and what country. Well maybe I wouldn't really get wrestling and Judo.
I think the Afghan women boxer Sadaf Rahimi was quietly removed from the games. Dam. Disappoint.
South Korean flag incorrectly displayed with North Korean team. To be fair to the blundering brits, nobody forced you to name your two countries 'Republic of Korea' and 'People's Democratic Republic of Korea', with the latter being the epic most misleading shit ever. My good 'ol classmate who plays Starcraft had this to say on the news: "Nuclear Launch Detected".
But wait. It wouldn't work. CAUSE THEY HAVE MISSILES. On the rooftops of London I mean. No I'm not kidding, it's one of the security measures. How cool is that. Maybe the Queen has a cartoon-like red button to press and launch them at Mitt Romney. I mean seriously, losing swing states is understandable, but now this guy wants to lose countries. Hope Obama can work out the economy in time.
I'm blogging like Marcus.
Nuuuuuu.
Coursework.
Nah don't have it :P
SGC, scholarships, uni courses, uni talks, everything that I deem 'a necessary waste of time'. Dang it. Let me just watch ze Olympics in peace.
Unable. To. Withstand. Awesome-ness. Of. Brit. Music.
Cannot. Stop. Feeling. Awesome. Watching. Video
Hence, loving the games in London.
Woke up this morning at 3.25AM to catch the live/delayed telecast on Channel 5. Only to realize there was an encore at 6pm. Nobody cares.
Shifting the minor updates, micro-blogging to this site instead of putting it as irrelevant comments on pictures on me tumblr.
Tao Li qualified for Semis woohoo. Found myself excited no matter what sport and what country. Well maybe I wouldn't really get wrestling and Judo.
I think the Afghan women boxer Sadaf Rahimi was quietly removed from the games. Dam. Disappoint.
South Korean flag incorrectly displayed with North Korean team. To be fair to the blundering brits, nobody forced you to name your two countries 'Republic of Korea' and 'People's Democratic Republic of Korea', with the latter being the epic most misleading shit ever. My good 'ol classmate who plays Starcraft had this to say on the news: "Nuclear Launch Detected".
But wait. It wouldn't work. CAUSE THEY HAVE MISSILES. On the rooftops of London I mean. No I'm not kidding, it's one of the security measures. How cool is that. Maybe the Queen has a cartoon-like red button to press and launch them at Mitt Romney. I mean seriously, losing swing states is understandable, but now this guy wants to lose countries. Hope Obama can work out the economy in time.
I'm blogging like Marcus.
Nuuuuuu.
Coursework.
Nah don't have it :P
SGC, scholarships, uni courses, uni talks, everything that I deem 'a necessary waste of time'. Dang it. Let me just watch ze Olympics in peace.
Unable. To. Withstand. Awesome-ness. Of. Brit. Music.
Cannot. Stop. Feeling. Awesome. Watching. Video
Friday, 20 July 2012
You don't know how I feel
That phrase, is a common irrational statement made by the clinically depressed, angst teenagers or emotionally charged people.
Because maybe we do know how you feel.
Whoever said that we must go through the exact same lifetime, exact same events, to be able to empathize with your state of mind?
I was giving advice on how I studied to my friend when a 3rd one voiced his annoyance. Saying that 'people only say that when they're at the top'. O is that so? Were my grades not as shitty as yours now? And also, are you going to take advice from someone who is consistently failing, or consistently succeeding, even better, improving? His response to that was 'just don't get advice'. Though terribly arrogant to say the least, I knew I had won the argument. For my friend sought advice, and so I gave advice. And of course, advice is not orders, you can always choose to adapt it, or throw it away, however different your situation, your history is.
And of course, if I had dramatically improved in my grades, and not given advice when sought, would that not be terribly selfish of me? So damned if I do and damned if I don't give advice is that right? No sorry, in your bitter consciousness and state of mind, it is understandable why you would say such a thing. But when you finally succeeded and looked back, how would you feel when people tell you 'you don't understand them' just because you improved. So thank you very much, but I cannot help you in your sorry state until you take some Prozac.
My good friend, when will you realize bitterness is but the drama we seek within?
Because maybe we do know how you feel.
Whoever said that we must go through the exact same lifetime, exact same events, to be able to empathize with your state of mind?
I was giving advice on how I studied to my friend when a 3rd one voiced his annoyance. Saying that 'people only say that when they're at the top'. O is that so? Were my grades not as shitty as yours now? And also, are you going to take advice from someone who is consistently failing, or consistently succeeding, even better, improving? His response to that was 'just don't get advice'. Though terribly arrogant to say the least, I knew I had won the argument. For my friend sought advice, and so I gave advice. And of course, advice is not orders, you can always choose to adapt it, or throw it away, however different your situation, your history is.
And of course, if I had dramatically improved in my grades, and not given advice when sought, would that not be terribly selfish of me? So damned if I do and damned if I don't give advice is that right? No sorry, in your bitter consciousness and state of mind, it is understandable why you would say such a thing. But when you finally succeeded and looked back, how would you feel when people tell you 'you don't understand them' just because you improved. So thank you very much, but I cannot help you in your sorry state until you take some Prozac.
My good friend, when will you realize bitterness is but the drama we seek within?
Thursday, 21 June 2012
It's comfortable in my cave.
So I just had to check facebook before I left for my run.
Wasn't helpful that throughout the panting I was thinking of my opinion and different views.
It concerns this video that Jia Lok shared on facebook, I haven't watched the entire hour long motivational/christian/chinese flick, and so I only hazard a guess that it is like most motivational/christian/chinese flicks about life, cherishing it, by showing people who are about to lose it how they do. As always, I have a habit of immediately thinking of opposing views, a kind of GP reflex action. The problem is I tend to romanticize that opposing view in light of its minority uptake. A kind of hipster reflex action.
OH CRYSTAL BALL CRYSTAL BALL TELL ME LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL.
Wasn't helpful that throughout the panting I was thinking of my opinion and different views.
It concerns this video that Jia Lok shared on facebook, I haven't watched the entire hour long motivational/christian/chinese flick, and so I only hazard a guess that it is like most motivational/christian/chinese flicks about life, cherishing it, by showing people who are about to lose it how they do. As always, I have a habit of immediately thinking of opposing views, a kind of GP reflex action. The problem is I tend to romanticize that opposing view in light of its minority uptake. A kind of hipster reflex action.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." Yes. Fear, not laziness or the feeling of being limited, could be the problem.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." Yes. Fear, not laziness or the feeling of being limited, could be the problem.
The view goes like this, that people, have perhaps early on, realized that they are lucky and have very high potential. Partly because of these sort of flicks, and because the last generation keeps saying it, and because our teachers say it, and because other people in our age group show it. It doesn't help. Do you realize how much more depressing it is to hear that we are supposed to be freaking awesome, but we aren't? This may sound terribly terribly harsh, but those people (the 'disadvantaged'), are happy, because they have met their expectations. Simply put, it is more difficult to fall short of expectations, than to be handicapped, yet meet them.
So perhaps, physically, they are restrained, but with that kind of freedom, the freedom to set your own targets, because society didn't, psychologically they are much better off. This is not to downplay their outstanding mentality and perseverance, no. But to point out that telling people that they could do much better, is not motivational, but depressing. Especially when these people have seen multiple failures, or have had parents or teachers or siblings putting so much pressure on them to get 4As, win medals and scholarships. I think you're just making them more disheartened, the next stage being a sort of mental defence mechanism. The usual blaming, the hiding, the locking away. On the outside, they may seem lazy, but maybe these people, are just defeated. Maybe you shouldn't be telling them that they could have worked harder, or they have no right to be lazy, but tell them not to care what other people's expectations are, but to push your own self, because you can. Positive thinking.
There are people who need to be told off, but perhaps, and only perhaps, it is a sad misguided world where people are applying the wrong medicine.
So perhaps, physically, they are restrained, but with that kind of freedom, the freedom to set your own targets, because society didn't, psychologically they are much better off. This is not to downplay their outstanding mentality and perseverance, no. But to point out that telling people that they could do much better, is not motivational, but depressing. Especially when these people have seen multiple failures, or have had parents or teachers or siblings putting so much pressure on them to get 4As, win medals and scholarships. I think you're just making them more disheartened, the next stage being a sort of mental defence mechanism. The usual blaming, the hiding, the locking away. On the outside, they may seem lazy, but maybe these people, are just defeated. Maybe you shouldn't be telling them that they could have worked harder, or they have no right to be lazy, but tell them not to care what other people's expectations are, but to push your own self, because you can. Positive thinking.
There are people who need to be told off, but perhaps, and only perhaps, it is a sad misguided world where people are applying the wrong medicine.
Also. And fair warning that taken out of context this would be an extremely harsh view, but believing there exists a wonderful place where you can spend eternity with loved ones, loved things, and a loving God, may just make someone accept dying easier than a person who still has his whole future to worry about. And people are scolding them about it. Not an anti-religious view, just a logical observation, am not implying either side is right.
I hope readers understand what I'm trying to say. Just be a little less harsh to the people who could be doing better. Because though these cancer patients are admirable, they are a different context.
There is a different character role model for different individuals with different presets.
I hope readers understand what I'm trying to say. Just be a little less harsh to the people who could be doing better. Because though these cancer patients are admirable, they are a different context.
There is a different character role model for different individuals with different presets.
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OH CRYSTAL BALL CRYSTAL BALL TELL ME LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL.
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