Float

Float

Monday 13 February 2017

Back

I've decided to write because it's that kind of atmosphere right now.

I just remembered moments in the army, and even further back to primary school, and the juxtaposition of it really 'shuddered' me. Sitting here, in the fraternity house, doing readings for Peoples of Africa, and remembering that far away heat, in the 10C4I office, walking home alone or just to get bhar chor mee. Fuck man, it's wild. I can remember it all so clearly, but maybe it's Heidegger and Freud messing with me now, but it's so unheimliche... maybe it's the music, and the fact that no one here will be able to remember that but me, or that Captain Andy and friends, at some point in my life was so meaningful, and now it would just be awkward seeing them, or I guess not. But knowing how different my life has divulged from clashing with everyone in this universe is just the strangest feeling or alienation and humanity. This weirdness extends to the fact that Dominic would probably get what I'm saying yet Kester wouldn't. And yet Kester would understand my recollection where Dominic wouldn't.

Maybe what I'm feeling is just, a 'spiritual' kind of loneliness.

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