Maybe I haven't absorbed the motto of my blog properly yet, or I've forgotten it.
Believe me when I say it was easier in VS.
On the weekends I always feel a selfish loneliness.
(I just stared at the floor for about 20 seconds. Can you imagine that? Acting emo haha.)
Anyway. I say selfish because one immediately would point out that my family's always around. There are two problems with that. One is that though we're 'around', we're not together. Taking random naps at different times, being busy people, handling emails and work calls (Yes, even me), doing homework, going out to run errands, etc. Love it when I have the time to chill on the sofa with my dad, play scrabble, or go out for a meal together.
I always wonder how it is for other families. And I think its the same. I wonder if most people feel the same way, which would in fact, be stupid because then we can all just start whatsapp-ing, txing, msn-ing each other to keep each other company. So on a second thought, I think I'm part of this minority. Of people who are alone, and care that they are alone.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Was thinking again this afternoon. If you want to be more melodramatic you could say 'soul searching'. Like, why should I even get up everyday? What am I living for? As a Christian, 'course, it's to seek God and encourage others to do the same. But honestly, these few weeks have been rough for me, with Kwang Ik becoming atheist, missing church this morning, and reading the crazy stuff happening in Revelations, doesn't look to good for that part.
In Photog, I'm just keeping it together. I wanted to leave a legacy behind but now its more like I can only remedy the situation my predecessors left, which in my opinion wasn't very good. I guess I can take some credit for that, but I think my new teacher would disagree. Tch.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
So much stuff that I want to do now, and its just so frustrating and depressing that I don't have the time and sometimes the motivation. Who are my friends?
-----------------------------------------------------------------
I realized I totally digressed from the title. Its quite self-explanatory bah I guess. I think I need to cut down on my escapism ventures.
Its really sucky to be able to appreciate music and not be able to play anything or sing... and your friends can. Competitive? Or guilt that I was so lazy to learn last time?
No comments:
Post a Comment