It's late

I should be sleeping I know.
I know.

I may be on about NS but I treasure all the time I have outside camp. The hazy lazy afternoons and the still nights. The coffee. Making me reflective.

Just played a few rounds of Dota 2.
I thoroughly suck at it.

The feeling is different.
The enjoyment is different. Am I even enjoying it?
Different games different pleasures... why do I always long for the lonely single players? Or the small groups? It's like an expression of my ambiversion. (as in ambivert, or both an intro and an extrovert or neither) An escape. A quiet place to think. That's why I just can't let go of all that game music in my playlists. I suspect they'll stay there for a long time.

I constantly wonder if the extroversion is a facade. And yet I only wonder that when I'm feeling introverted. And introversion has a lot to do with overthinking.

What is it then?

I miss the conversations with Gwyneth, those with Yan Mei, those with Clare.
Yeah they're all girls. No shit captain.

I miss the VS bloggers too, but I get to chat with them from time to time.

YZ and Xunny, always enjoy their company.

It's true that with less time, we treasure it more. I'm a hypocrite, a fraud, pretending that I understood everything about life already. Or maybe I do, and that it takes one that hasn't gone through it to understand it from the outside.

I still understand this though. That it's daytime somewhere else. That there's civil war somewhere else. And that the stars above, the night sky, the universe, is just vast but calm.

I should do more poetry.