Float

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Monday 14 December 2015

Rides

I just wanted to acknowledge with all my heart how relieving that conversation was with Alex. And yes, I will take that advice. And I hope you enjoyed mine. Thank you for being a friend.

I wrote this a few days ago. It's just a distant memory now maybe.
If only you'd know
I'm just playing along
I always thought
I'd end up with you
That took so much restraint.

Stuff I wrote on the plane ride. I never filter, you know that. Honesty is my highest ideal.
He knew, and I didn't
My strength is in initiative
Yet I had no knowledge
The incredible frustration
Of knowing your inexperience

It's a lie after all
Kissed her while she was drunk
But I the better(?) man, truly
The nice guy who finishes last

Fucking quit in frutration
I can't get it out of my head now
If that wasn't a sign to move on
Nothing is.

If I knew I would've, but no.
I ask for too much.

What do I do know?
Keep it to myself,
Or brood like a child.
Soldier on.

I'm racist. It is a tragedy truly. If only I'd met someone like that.
What does it mean to drink, dance, and look at each other waiting for a move?
I don't want everyone asking is just why.

Is this what it means to reach for something higher?

Should I rush?
Since now I know..

Sometimes I feel like I can change a little too much and what I want just contradicts so deeply with what I can do. Can this pen truly write endorphins and morphine?
Impressions; fuck 'em you don't know me.

But that was it wasn't it, he was a perfect representation of frat but he's not. But I don't want to be associated with that. - Oh darn there's a part here I can't even read my own handwriting - Hopeless romantic.

A great reform(?) is due.

2 Hours
2 Hours on a flight to Denver
2 Hours to get over you
2 Hours before touch down
2 Hours of just solitude

Too soon again will I be forced
To mingle, to meet and to smile
Too late to go back and change
To someone who foresaw this denial

2 Hours to be at peace
Too many hours too few
2 Hours with no answers still
Too little to put my life in review


#87 Bus Rides
I probably never had a problem with public transit because... 1. Singapore's system is pretty good (and so is Chicago's) and I guess more importantly 2. It has always given me time to think, to listen to my favorite instrumental tunes...and yes, the deep conversations that I love to have 1 to 1, are the brightest spots.

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