Keys

public class Dictionary {
    public class DCell {
         int key;
         DCell next;
         DCell prev;
    }
}

~

I'm not sure which bothers me more, losing a very expensive suit-jacket, or less expensive but more meaningful (to me) set of keys. All I can say is that it was my fault, but perhaps I expected more kindness and help? I always tell myself to give the most and expect the least, but perhaps I've touched a limit to stoicism here. I have lost some faith in humanity, for real. And I've taken on so much personal sacrifice... I don't know. I'm out of breath here. Sometimes you just really really wonder, and get frustrated, is it worse for other people? Really? Or at least amongst your peers?

I mean, I just spent $30 on ubers, and 2 hours of my midterm studying time to make a police report that might amount to basically nothing but cold, sarcastic stares and remarks from a random police officer whom I can empathize with frankly (he's probably had a shitty day or has had to deal with shitty people in his life). I don't know what I was expecting, maybe Batman-esque, crime novel, miraculous case solving. Now I have to deal with perhaps not getting anything back.

~

Not in the mood right now. Sorry Agneska. I'm not as strong, nor wealthy, for that matter.

~

The truth is, I'm dealing with more than 1 issue right now.

~

Sometimes I wonder if people pity or judge me - why are you being so cold? Why are you being low energy right now? Does this guy even want to talk to me? I'm not sure how to respond. You caught me at a bad moment pal.

~

I know I have a vengeful spirit. It comes when you feel powerless (both the lack of, or just less powerful). It is unhealthy, I know! Would you not be trapped in such a mental state too given my circumstances? Maybe not, then kudos to your genes and upbringing. Maybe I wasn't so fortunate, but I keep trying. I'll always fight.

~

What is it about me that I need to change?

~

I want to acknowledge more great talks, with Pumai and Marcus, and Yams.