So in the last post I said I would try to post again 'tommorow' but actually its on the same day because I posted at 12am ++ today. Whatever, anyways I shall continue.
Friday: Few things happened that totally changed my view of some classmates.
English teacher scolded us. I sincerely think she made a lot of good points about our class. Therefore was really shocked when Amrit rebutted her. On one hand, his from the debate team so I mean, he DEBATES. On another, he is a student leader and I always thought they were very decent people. I mean its unfair of me to judge, but I assumed he was more of a Jia Lok than a Hendrik ya know? Ok I'm rambling on without telling you what happened.
Well we started the class well enough with her (the teacher) talking about the quote of the day (that she gave). If I remember well enough it was something like. "The best way to spend your life is to do something that outlasts life." Thought it was a very good quote. It really got me thinking. So she went on to talk about how we should become legends and leave behind legacies. So she said something like always remember this L word, when a classmate of mine made a pretty immature remark, saying it was losers or something. I thought it was Justin.
So that's number one, because I always thought the twins were a little on the fun side but otherwise had good character and moral. I really didn't expect Justin to be so immature, even after that he was laughing about it... I thought it was an awful thing to say, seeing as our generation is pretty much the opposite of that quote, thinking about living life to the fullest as in having all your own fun and doing nothing for humanity.
My teacher was evidently angered and frustrated and I could understand why. She's been trying her best to get my class moving towards the O levels but so far my class has been as complacent as the choir. After that she gave us a talk on how complacent our class was and how the top scorer list shows it. I personally felt ashamed. The fact that I only got 'T's for two subjects was starting to sink in. =(
Secondly, was Amrit. He actually dared rebutt on her points about how our class should have a lot of people on the top scorer's list but weren't. I used to be like that. I used to make excuses about every mistake I did. Was it pride? Was it self-deception? Whatever it is, I'm trying my best to change. Now, whenever a senior or teacher gives a pep talk, EVEN THOUGH I feel it's not my fault AT FIRST, I will always find fault in myself INSTEAD of finding excuses. Then, even if the truth is its not my fault, I will try and change from the experience. Sometimes, I realize I really am at fault, sometimes I'm really not the one, but whatever the case, any change for the better is always good. Think your chemistry is pro? Think again. Think your a good singer? Improve more. Think your exercising enough? Try harder.
Geez I think I'm turning a bit HUSAIN. Never happy with who you are, always try and improve kind of thing. Thirdly, was You Duen. I don't know when I got the idea that You Duen was SELFLESS. So in case you don't know yet, my timetable on thursday extends all the way into choir time. So the choir teacher-in-charge, Ms Lau (who just so happens to be an awesome maths teacher), made an arrangement to have maths on thursdays for the period that eats into choir, in other words, the class has maths while we have choir. Then the next day, we have lesson with Ms Lau on Friday. The issue is that by changing the periods, the class now has 5 periods of maths in a row.
Then in term 2, our timetable was err TWISTED up again. So our teacher... OK NVM I think I'm going too long. You Duen apparently thinks they (the rest of the class) shouldn't have to "SACRIFICE" themselves for "THE MINORITY", alleging that they can't concentrate on the lesson if they have consecutive 2hrs 55 mins of maths in a row. NUMBER 1, IT ISN'T IN A ROW. There is a lunch break in the middle for pete's sake. Number 2, do you realize how selfish that is!! Look I've had it with all this nonsense about "stop accusing me of being selfish!" or "this is what I think, you can't hold that against me". OMGOSH, do you know how steorotypical teenagers are these days!!! Are they THIS spoilt and pampered. SO NOW TEENAGERS ARE ACTUALLY ALLOWED TO ARGUE AGAINST MORAL VALUE? AGAINST HELPING YOUR FELLOW MAN? Only one thing to say. AMERICAN. I had to censor that because its racist so I apologize in advance if I offended anyone. <---- YOU SEE WHAT I JUST DID? I JUST DID EXACTLY WHAT TEENAGERS ARE DOING NOW. Getting away with things BY REASONING? Seriously, some things, cannot be explained unless you have the basic moral compass.
Which is what I'm driving at this whole time. Both Amrit and You Duen reason and give excuses. Which are logical on one hand. BUT TOTALLY WRONG on another! Maybe some of you are thinking: You Duen's right because its unfair for the whole class to 'suffer' for four choir members. Think about what your saying! "SUFFER?" So 5 periods of maths is considered 'SUFFERING' to our generation is it? Then think deeper, your willing to let 4 of us take the bullet and FAIL GEOGRAPHY (the subject we are switching the periods with) so you guys can continue NOT LISTENING in maths class anyway!? Just the thursday before, You Duen was doing chinese homework during class. How can I trust his views if he can't even put in effort to listen to maths class in the first place!? Maybe if he was at least trying his best to listen and concentrate, I'd understand his situation because he really can't concentrate. Unfortunately, its not the case. Unfortunately, generation Y (our generation) is really a STRAWBERRY GENERATION. You know that video poem you showed me the other day X? Its looking a bit too optimistic now.
Guess what? I'm not finished. After that was Hendrik. When I talked to him, I SAW a bit of my old self in him... I was requesting that he be a bit more serious regarding choir, and set good examples outside too. I also asked that he stopped joking about stuff like "let's pon choir" even though he doesn't mean it. There were three things I saw that I could relate...
The first was that in choir he claims he is serious and outside he can be happy go lucky and have fun. I really thought like that too, I thought if you do your own thing all the time, you can be happy go lucky all the time. Then I realized, there are somethings in life you need to be serious about, that inevitably, your going to affect other people in bad ways even though you don't mean to. That sometimes you have to sacrifice a bit of your own fun for the sake of a something larger than you. In this case, the choir. So I stopped being all fun and games, stopped being happy go lucky all the time. There are times when you can't take things lightly or take the 'soft' approach. Sometimes you have to get emo or angry to not just wake yourself up, but others around you.
World Peace? To me, it won't and shouldn't happen. Some wars change people's mindsets. With peace all the time, some things never change. The pacific war showed how discriminated Asians were to some extent. I'm not advocating war, no way, war sucks. I'm saying, nothing is perfect, nothing can go your way all the time.
Secondly, was pride. But I'll talk about that next time.
Thirdly, was joking. I thought once, that by making lame jokes, I was trying to make people laugh, not to annoy them. I thought then, that it wasn't my fault that people take it the wrong way, that "its their problem" as Hendrik so aptly commented. However, sometimes in life, even though you don't mean it, there will always be people who take jokes seriously, some people who can't understand your intentions. In that case, its your job to be mindful of what you say instead of excusing yourself "its not my problem if he takes it the wrong way".
I understand how Hendrik feels, it feels so unfair that he has to change for other people, that he has to do all the sacrificing. That he has to change his lifestyle for others. But that to me, is being individualistic. Life is unfair. When people are mean to me, I tolerate them. When people are not doing their part of the project work, I cover up for them. When people think my jokes are annoying, I control my itching tongue around them, I change a bit of who I am. When a friend whom I know never does works hard or studies asks a question, I answer them. When you sacrifice for others, you become the better person in hopes that others will follow suit. Selflessness.
I try my best not to complain or brag about this kind of thing, you just have to be true to yourself and your heart. I know I'm still arrogant. I want to be humble, maybe I'll get there one day. Of course, I'm not saying you don't always tell others how you feel if they are mean to you, if you don't it might sometimes eat you up inside, you have to try and convince them without getting agitated. I'm also not saying you keep helping lazy students as well. I'm saying you still help them, but convince them along their way to see the err of their ways and change for the better.
We are all human afterall. Btw I'm still not done with Friday. I'm so long-winded
At the bottom right is a hint of what happened the rest of Friday.
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