And then there was VS

Left.

Even though the end of 'O's is a joyous occasion for many, I have mixed feelings.

Maybe you don't have classmates who don't stay in Singapore and have fun with you all the way, but for me, without them, its just not the same.

Its like 4D has lost part its flesh and blood, and the holes make the body a divided entity.

I know I should be celebrating, but the holiday is just one month. One month to an unknown future.

Its like the 'O' levels was a period of limbo, like we've officially left but not really physically. Now its really over, and I can't help but feel really depressed for some reason.

The whole feel of it, my life in VS. Everything I could do during the holidays just seems to dwarf in comparism...

Perhaps its as You Duen put it, superficial.

I don't feel attached to some of my 2D and Primary School pals. Not anymore, and not as much as I am to 4D.

It seems so superficial, as he says, not sincere, not deep, not matured, who am I to share these thoughts? Ryan Tan? Oh please. And he still has this notion of inviting millions 20 over people to my house for movie marathon/video games thing. Does he realize I will never fully enjoy these events? Does he realize I prefer a small group of my closest friends? That I prefer hugs to halo? That I prefer world politics to Wii Resort? (BUT WII RESORT IS AWESOME THOUGH... still, no one plays that much with me...)

I need this blog now, not more than ever, but badly still. Why do the people who seem to socially understand me closest have to be so physically far away.

I seem to be talking about 4D and VS at the same time and jumping in here and there randomly, well maybe because they are not different in any way. 4D was the best part of my life in VS, well maybe besides the choir. I'm not afraid of antagonizing any old pals anymore, because this is how I really feel, and this is my blog.

I'm not saying everyone else is bad. No, not Zaki, Marcus, Rifdi, Henry, Extra, a few more maybe.

I'm really confused right now. Maybe I'm just tired after 4D outing.

According to Maslow's law of Heirachy, I haven't satisfied my sense of belonging (which has kind of just been lost), so no pics and music, you know, under Aesthetic purposes which is above sense of belonging.

The timing of my family outing feels a bit off for me. From end Dec to Jan, meaning the end of the holidays, like I'm detaching myself from my friends... before it begins.

At least I have my companion D90... Emo = Art you know.