Float

Float

Thursday 21 June 2012

It's comfortable in my cave.

So I just had to check facebook before I left for my run.

Wasn't helpful that throughout the panting I was thinking of my opinion and different views.
It concerns this video that Jia Lok shared on facebook, I haven't watched the entire hour long motivational/christian/chinese flick, and so I only hazard a guess that it is like most motivational/christian/chinese flicks about life, cherishing it, by showing people who are about to lose it how they do. As always, I have a habit of immediately thinking of opposing views, a kind of GP reflex action. The problem is I tend to romanticize that opposing view in light of its minority uptake. A kind of hipster reflex action.

"How can you choose to give up when they
-weak and sick, with their dreams crushed and death sentenced prematurely-
choose to keep smiling, keep fighting, keep loving?
What excuse do you have?
What rights, do you have?"

Is what he said. I decided I would come back and reply, yet again, by giving a differing opinion. Yet, something stopped me. I momentarily had a vision of how things would then turn out. Jia Lok would rebutt me, my point would be dismissed by the rest (more like flooded, seeing as it's Jia Lok's), and I would feel bad for commenting. No I have never said that I take my stand that way, and Jia Lok get's it, but why do I get the feeling everyone else things I'm a jerk? MAYBE THEY DO. Yup. So I decided, to be a wimp and talk about it here instead.

This happens often. For a period of time I come out of my cave and take my stands, say my opinions, or actually, others' opinion, (because mine is usually the boring, politically correct argument that does not enrich the conversation, so why would I repeat what other people are saying? So that I get the nice feeling everyone agrees with me?) I get owned by chivalrous, no nonsense every day heroes like Jia Lok, and I wonder why the hell I didn't just keep my mouth shut. AND SO I DECIDE TO.

Let's take a look at the last two lines of his comments. I am slight discomfited by the judgemental tone, but besides the point, to give a differing view, perhaps such a statement would be counter-intuitive and misguided. It sounds like reprimanding a lazy, spoilt child. But are we all? No, in fact to be cynical would be to assume something even worse. How the movie Coach Carter put it, quoting from Marianne Williamson's poem, "
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure
." Yes. Fear, not laziness or the feeling  of being limited, could be the problem.

The view goes like this, that people, have perhaps early on, realized that they are lucky and have very high potential. Partly because of these sort of flicks, and because the last generation keeps saying it, and because our teachers say it, and because other people in our age group show it. It doesn't help. Do you realize how much more depressing it is to hear that we are supposed to be freaking awesome, but we aren't? This may sound terribly terribly harsh, but those people (the 'disadvantaged'), are happy, because they have met their expectations. Simply put, it is more difficult to fall short of expectations, than to be handicapped, yet meet them.

So perhaps, physically, they are restrained, but with that kind of freedom, the freedom to set your own targets, because society didn't, psychologically they are much better off. This is not to downplay their outstanding mentality and perseverance, no. But to point out that telling people that they could do much better, is not motivational, but depressing. Especially when these people have seen multiple failures, or have had parents or teachers or siblings putting so much pressure on them to get 4As, win medals and scholarships. I think you're just making them more disheartened, the next stage being a sort of mental defence mechanism. The usual blaming, the hiding, the locking away. On the outside, they may seem lazy, but maybe these people, are just defeated. Maybe you shouldn't be telling them that they could have worked harder, or they have no right to be lazy, but tell them not to care what other people's expectations are, but to push your own self, because you can. Positive thinking.

There are people who need to be told off, but perhaps, and only perhaps, it is a sad misguided world where people are applying the wrong medicine.

Also. And fair warning that taken out of context this would be an extremely harsh view, but believing there exists a wonderful place where you can spend eternity with loved ones, loved things, and a loving God, may just make someone accept dying easier than a person who still has his whole future to worry about. And people are scolding them about it. Not an anti-religious view, just a logical observation, am not implying either side is right.

I hope readers understand what I'm trying to say. Just be a little less harsh to the people who could be doing better. Because though these cancer patients are admirable, they are a different context.

There is a different character role model for different individuals with different presets.

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OH CRYSTAL BALL CRYSTAL BALL TELL ME LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL.

1 comment:

Yan Mei said...

Yeah I know what you're talking about. I watched the video because I had the exclusive privilege of having it posted directly on my wall, in the period of time that I was not doing good at all. Personally for me, at that point in time, it was depressing, not motivating. But anyway, on the big picture, I totally understand what you are trying to say, and I agree. I've been on the side of the alternative point of view myself.