Waxing and Waning

After all this time I'm still trying to figure myself out.
Don't know bout you but I think when people just stop questioning themselves, when they stop trying to figure themselves out, they resort to 'its just me'. But is it really you? Are you really that lazy? Are you really that scared?...
Ever so often I feel high with energy and ready to take on so many things, meet new people, have fun with old friends.
And after some slump, after disappointments maybe, or possibly just ran out of steam, I find myself doing a hell lot of soul-searching and yes, God-searching too.
And like Collin said sometimes we look back on ourselves and just ask what we were doing all this time in the first place.
Saw a Ted talk about the 3As of awesome, one of them was 'authenticity'. Be yourself and be cool with it.
Another Ted talk on 'there are no scraps of men'. Teared a little on the train listening to it... these kind of displacing elements, those times I just empathize and see different worlds, its an exhausting experience.
And these moodswings are usually characterized by being more quiet in class, more efficient to some extent, not caring much how others see you, a playlist going through your head all the time. More single-player, more loner-ing, more nostalgia, more of looking back, at those blissful childhood times. Sabrina told me its a good thing to be able to be an introvert and an extrovert, but I'm not so sure. Its unsettling, confusing. I don't have a clear path to follow, I don't know where I'm going with things.
Lately people have been asking me what I'm going to take in Uni. I don't know guys.

Super random spontaneous poem
Just waxing and waning
Like the moon and tide
Smiling and fading
A widow, or a bride?
Did you see me where I wasn't?
Could you know my thoughts?
Atop the blue mountains, a valley across
To reach this snowy chamber of my conscious

I just thought and wrote that in the last 5 minutes, quite fun.

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I swear the sound quality is much more awesome from my CD version (its kind of a duh but I just had to say xD)