When v=0

I spent 12 years of my life aiming to be a teacher, Mathematics to be precise, Science to be imprecise.

Then everything changed when the fire nation attacked I went through secondary one. After so long not stopping to think, I realized I don't have to be a teacher to be happy. I assumed being a teacher was my calling, but as a certain GOH said, 'Do what you love, or love what you do.' Combined with the rolling stone's 'You can't always get what you want,' and you can derive that, try to do what you love, your passion, but if you don't get what you want, try your best to love what your doing, no matter how mundane.

Its like after planning for so long, expecting and assuming, it all falls apart. That's when you start to reflect and think it over, and recover even. I guess its learning to be adaptable, flexible. Plan, but don't assume it will.

During Primary Five our school hired Dr Re Jabien (or something like that) to give us a lecture on studying, examinations, etc.

After years of contradictory advice, I'm once again stuck. I'll give you an example. He said 7 hours of sleep is the best option, because studies have shown 8 hours is when you enter deep sleep and dreaming which is difficult to awake from. Then Mdm Ow said 8 hours is just enough for exams, 'proven by scientists'. Mdm Kwok now says sleep less each day, possibly reaching four hours, then rest on the last day of the cycle.

I guess its up to us to choose.

Who we want to trust, whom we respect the most, who is credible, etc. I recently discovered that we place trust in many things and are unaware of it, maybe because we complacently exist in a safe and secure society like Singapore. In a way it was Combined Humanities that made me aware of it.

If you don't understand the title, it means turning point.

I had a dilemma this afternoon. Deciding if I should retake the Chinese Examinations. My mind was quite set on not retaking because 1. My Mother discourages me from doing so and since she usually advocates chinese and studying, she had enhanced reliability 2. My orals was Merit, I thought my paper 2 wouldn't be able to do much better than in May. 3. I can focus on my other subjects that are dropping in standard

Then Ms Ho talked to me and I decided to retake because 1. Merit for orals is not really that bad 2. HMT students would not be counted in the same bell curve and apparently 3. I had potential 4. My AEP was kind of done

Then I talked to Ms Tan and I decided not to retake once again because 1. HMT students WILL be counted in the same bell curve 2. My chinese 'career' isn't really over, I still take it in JC 3. Both my teachers (sec 1/2 & 4) agree it'll be too demanding of me 4. I wasn't prepared, err in general terms. 5. My AEP COURSEWORK was kind of done, but SOVA is still so far away, I wish you were here, in terms of grades I'm getting.

Back to being a Maths teacher, I kind of lost interest in Maths... with increased interest in Humanities. Turning point? Decisions... difficult.

Are you going to keep it strong?