Stressed again?

I know how Penny feels.
When you've made a plan and it doesn't work out.
Disappointment, despair, hopelessness, pessimism.
When will AEP end I ask?
I broke down today, probably by that enzyme bacteria produce haha.
I cried...
Countless times I prepare myself for this kind of situation and yet...

From a child to an adult, what decisions do we make? E-maths B3.
I used to like maths, it was challenging yet manageable. Now, its boring and difficult to master. Hate maths now. I know I'm contradicting myself.

Back to AEP
I actually thought I could finish today.
Infer please.
Cried my way through the lesson after Quinn and the teachers made me realize it ain't going to happen.
For years now I struggled and fumbled with AEP, I should have seen this coming.

My 'C' stands out when I'm emo. 'I' when I'm happy go lucky.
The other day when I went to celebrate my Primary School's two friends birthdays, met a certain person at Sakae Sushi.
I made a huge mistake last time admitting my crush on MSN.
Things didn't heal for me after that. I still feel ultra awkward around her.
So when she came to wish my friend happy birthday, I just put up  a false front, smiled, acted normal; but inside, I just cannot get over the embarrassment. 'C'.

It kind of makes it worse that my siblings are both male and I'm in a boy's school.
Unthinkably stressed and depressed right now.

My 'friends' all try to cheer me up. Is it instinct or true care, I wonder.
Some of these 'friends' I've tried to 'correct' before.
I guess I was wrong to be so arrogant.
Yet I'm angry they are still like that. Are they right? You know, the smoking paikia type. Are they just broken souls who have resigned to failure and stooped so low in humiliation and went into hiding, hiding behind a facade.
The world is so complex.

I don't know if I want people around me when I'm emotional or not. I think the latter. Like I said, 'C'.
So after a slight tantrum I went to the choir room, thankfully unlocked. The piano was on, I pondered if it was a sign. Played Runescape songs, and fuck it whomever think its lame. I cried even more profusely at the sound of the songs. My little world of Runescape. Maybe I'm more 'C' than I think. I prefer small groups of friends and games that my friends don't even play sometimes.

This version is a bit strong and less emo than the way I play it.