Float

Float

Tuesday 6 July 2010

I'm looking to talk, why not anyone else?

You know, I often find myself in a shape of awkwardness when I walk together with someone else whom I'm not familiar with, don't hang out with (e.g. friends friend. Btw thanks jia lok finally understand what I.e. means haha) or have conflicting ideals with. That's why I always try to make some small talk to gain some common ground. Well, as I've learn it doesn't work if the other person can't sense it and doesn't reciprocate.

I mean, I really dislike the feeling of walking with someone whom shows no emotion, no feelings towards me. Haha sounds gay. Unfortunately I'm not very good at starting conversations. Me: "Hey what's that made of?" *points to Vegetarian fried something* Darius "I don't know. " What a lengthy conversation. I'm an idiot.

Sigh... I'm really sad and despo aren't I? I feel that I'm just making worse, but really it can't get any worse than walking with someone who doesn't seem to like you one bit. No eye contact. No friendly smile. Long, awkward pauses between short conversations. I mean, it hurts really bad... seriously. I feel really depressed about it after that. Why didn't I just walk alone? I wonder if this is how Calvin feels.

And I get this sort of situation quite often cause I sometimes fetch my neighbour Ryan to school. I once blurted out, "Why don't we talk or something?" His response: "Why?" So why? Why is it I just HAVE to talk all the time? Am I naturally annoying? No. Shut up. Screw the idiots who say that. I want to be everyone's friend, so common space is always a start isn't it? Sam and I became good friends probably cause of our similar interest in runescape. When I start a conversation, he smiles and cuts back with a witty remark, then one topic leads to another. He sometimes starts conversations too. I wish more people were like him...

I'm just frustrated. Why don't you talk people? I want to be closer friends! Is it destiny? Has it been written down somewhere in some divine power's rule book that some people just can't be good friends? I'm starting to think so. I guess if your personality difference is too great, you can't really do anything can you? This world is depressingly cold.

The building may be teeming with life or looming with gloom. The facade shows nothing but gray emotion, dwarfing us in cold contempt. Its kind of how I perceive the people who show no interest in talking with me as forth mentioned.
Pic removed! Examination rules breached

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