I'm sitting alone in Borders Bookstore. I'm supposed to be writing drafts for Teacher's day cards while I wait for my photos accompanying the cards to be printed. But that can wait.
From a head to a heart person.
Thinking heavily as I sit here, and it bites.
Every time I'm alone this happens. I believe too much in the 'ENFJ' (my profile) description: 'Dark thoughts when the person is alone'.
Husain speaks of strength in being alone, yet I wonder if his family plays a part, unlike mine mostly. Or maybe I just have some screwed up mental image of what a family should be like. I wouldn't know.
I want to help others but as I stop doing so, the floodgates of liquid insecurity flood in.
Apparently more people than I thought read my blog. Well its OK. Let people know I have emotions. Let them know that leaders have weaknesses, soft spots. I am human and I am humbled. I admit to them all and deal with them somehow. Maybe this is one way. This doesn't make me unsuitable to be a leader nor a Rafflesian. Leaders need empathy and honesty. How does one feel others without figuring out himself. Irrational thinking is one thing. Strong ideals is another.
I'm a rebellious one. Talking so much about being lonely when I have Jesus. Always with me. Forgive me Lord. Thanks Jia Lok.
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Doing the teacher's day cards. Makes me tear up. Because I miss VS so much and I don't know why. I literally cannot explain why I love to go back. I have even forgotten so much of my time there. Mdm Kwok's lessons seem so so so far away, and its so sad. Don't take those memories away from me.
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God I need sleep and a hug.
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What is my calling?
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Train
Just like a movie scene,
when your eyes glean,
I just want to lean over and give a kiss
Away from crowds, unseen.
But I know my place,
Feelings just move too fast a pace,
As though part of a race
With this train moving through space.
Let's ignore the proximity,
Cause well... my parents would surely deem me silly.
Let's just watch the stations go by.
I'm not longing, really.
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More Victoria Street - Street Photography
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