Teenage complexity

You know in all those shows where teenagers are rebellious brats who say their lives are very complex and "no one understands them". I used to think that was stupid and unbecoming of a young adult. I still think so, and I may be calling myself stupid. Sigh, I can't help it, no matter how hard I try, I sometimes get the feeling that some friends and family are idiots and 'don't know me very well'.

It's a good thing I'm aware of these dark thoughts, and quite frankly I'm thankful I was a little emotional in secondary 1. It's got me reflecting and thinking about what kind of mindset and attitude I should have. It's made me more certain and assured of myself and my character. It's whats keeping me from succumbing to peer pressure and all sorts of unbecoming things. It's getting weaker though, so I need this blog.

I decided not to go for a $200 trip to Cameron Highlands tonight, which is what sparked me to write again. It made me pace the floor for an hour and I finally decided not to go. Yeah I'm pretty selfish. But it has awakened me to something. I now look foward to the weekend ahead, instead of dreading it when I thought I was going on this trip to tea plantation that if you have read the papers, are being razed = =". I always tell myself to learn from mistakes, but it always takes a long, painful on to finally set my mind straight about what to do next time, like the Sengkang incident hehe.

Was it the right thing to do? No one knows and nothing is ever just right or wrong. Although my mum thinks it was definitely wrong from the way she used an angry tone everytime I supposedly made a mistake. I know I'm being the teenage stereotype that I detest, which is why I'm keeping it only in this blog, but what I feel is that she 'doesn't understand me' and she should stop treating me like a child. I learnt from a parenting talk (Yeah I listened to one at suntec before cause I was bored) that when your child is a from say 6-12 years old, you should tell them what's right and what's wrong. When their a teenager, you guide them, as a coach and not an authority figure. My mother is probably the latter. It's wrong of me to judge though. So I apologize now.

She thinks I'm still a kid, and that her parenting style doesn't have to change. She screamed at me saying she was going to complain to Mr Kwei about having such a hold on me. But it's not really that. Choir has always been a place with people to meet and where I have good friends. Going to Cameron Highlands? No friends. I don't know, maybe I'm a desperate social looking for attention and love. I don't know. Maybe that's why I crave the simple life of ancient times. OK it wasn't that simple, but you wouldn't face these kind of emotional and moral problems of society I suppose...