I can't swallow

I admit it, I can't swallow big capsules and tablets. It's a mental block I have that hinders my recovery most of the time. Usually it isn't that bad because I just break it up first or let it dissolve abit in my mouth. Don't say things like "just swallow la!" because its not helpful at all. Seriously, it's like asking a mentally retarded guy to "Just think la!" I mean wtf, obviously he can't just change all of a sudden. The problem is now I'm a little more grown up so not swallowing my anti-biotic is preventing me from recovering at all. It's really annoying that my illness is not aggravating nor is it declining. Its just the same every single day. That's bad. Like I've said in earlier posts, I tend to be too consistent, which is bad cause I don't improve. So this is the same case. It's like everyday I breathe deeper to try and feel if I've got phlegm left, and I don't feel it but 5 mins later its back, and its a really big blow to my hope. One more day of the weekends and its back to school. Its so frustrating! Its like I'm not sick enough to stay home but not healthy enough to eat whatever I want or play sports. Seriously this fucking sucks. If I was well I think I could cope with the stress...

More pics from my old collection. Sorry that I can't upload newer pics. Seeing as I'm not really up and about am I...?