I crept slowly towards the notice board and huddled around the mass of anxious students already gathered. I scrutinized the list of councillors like scrutinizing a score for dynamics and difficult jumps between notes. Two candidates starting with Lim. None of them me. It's over. I knew it then, I knew it days, maybe weeks ago. Not that I didn't try. I will never, in the face of near impossible, but not entirely. And in the end, I really learned something. Be absolutely true. Honest, to yourself, ideals and beliefs. Too late.
I watched the other candidates making new friends, with ease. For me, its a challenge. Insecurity means I am always afraid of judgement, and cruel stares of disgust or weird looks. I guess, without any chance at council, no one will watch me. And thats great in a way. Then again, I shouldn't have feared all along.
Look at Bryan (Lum), he wasn't afraid to tell me he believed vulgarities was absolutely OK even as a leader, even though he probably knew how Guai Kia I was. He is a natural at leading.
Jia Lok too, not afraid to show his true colors as a true blue Victorian, and being sincere the whole time.
Eugene Phua, outspoken about his belief in voting for the worthy and deserving not the usual obligatory friend vote.
Bryan Ong, at first I was skeptical at his defeated-ness in situations. But he is cool and confident, and perhaps realistic.
Dylan Lee. I have to admit, I was slightly put off by his passion about gym-ing all the time. But I was won over, because he has passion and enthusiasm for his school; the manifest of the Rafflesian Spirit.
Yuan Rong, amiable to the max, understanding, and has shown his capabilities to me in his time in VS
Surya, I didn't vote for him in VS. But his group, and his personality, is just too fun, and actually a lot of hard work too.
Husain, constant improvement, strong values, the Professional, Gentleman, Sportsman.
I voted for all these people. They deserved it, and they did get their spot in the council. I am definitely proud and happy for them, the world needs to take notice of these individuals. Why are there 2 more votes? Me (duh) and my group mate, whom I actually regrettably wasted on, she really doesn't have any capacity as a councillor, at all. She is decent, but not outstanding.
Its I vs C again. I've always enjoyed background work, and the road less travelled... I did mention before I am really inspired by that poem. Yet, it always wasn't enough for me to do just that, when I could do so much more, and show the world, how I really feel things can be, should be done. Teaching, and being paid attention. Attention seeking? Probably. But in all honesty, when it come down to it, my morals always come first. I will never shortchange myself. I'm uncool and I'm proud.
Why am I 'running because of council', not for council? Like a work of art, it has multiple meanings. Firstly, because after finding out my results, I ran at Mac Ritchie reservoir with Kwang Ik and Jia Lok to cool off. I think it was less the running than just their friendship that helped.
And I'm running away. The extreme C personality. Escapism if you will. Always found it peaceful, and just plain fun, to go all single player on my computer and listen to the same great stories and music, and computerized, but not robotic, lively characters of the games I play. Because in the end, these computers, were made in likeness to humans, and were created by humans, and unlike humans, they don't judge, they don't bitch either.
I can't pen my thoughts clearly in this mood. Its just a daze. I recall the stuff that prompted me to try this. Firstly, because I feel my time in VS was wasted by my dearth of leadership. Why didn't I put my effort into becoming a student leader, so that I may pass on, instill the Victorian Spirit, which I still cherish dearly? Being the extra guy who cheered with the red and black shirts, felt empty, when they started conversing about their experience, and behind the scenes work. Stuff I like.
Secondly, because I've never been satisfied being the average pupil. Part of me, relished in taking the challenge of 10 subjects, 2 and a half CCAs, and volunteering on many other school activities, because ultimately, I want to make a contribution, however little, but as much as I can to this world.
Thirdly, because I truly and dearly love Raffles Institution. Its history, culture, and warm welcome and acceptance of me, was enough to win me over. And being from VS, it was the road less travelled. I wanted to maybe prove, that I didn't make a bad choice in coming here at all and that it really is great, encourage my juniors to come too. You can say that I've just entered. But having a place here, already makes me that grateful as an appeal student.
Fourth, because 'challenge accepted!' You know, the ironic thing is, the more the council members and teachers talked about commitment and really difficult and stressful work, the more I was interested. Haha weirdo workaholic eh? :D Yeah, honestly sometimes I can't even believe myself, am I that serious about liking work? It seems, illogical, and I love Lepaking too! Maybe, specific work. Work I'm passionate about, and council was one thing I was quite sure about.
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There's still so much I want to talk about. Another time. Its super late.
At the last Kampong in Singapore, a photography society outing. (THERE'S TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS CCA SERIOUSLY)
I think, I should stop downplaying my photography if I want to be more serious. Instead, accept and understand criticism, and defend my skepticism of them (if any).
The photoshop marks are so obvious argh! I've no time to do a proper one in short notice, sorry guys :(
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| Original |
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| After 5 mins PsDing |
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