I've always dreamed of a simple life. It all started when I tried Age of Mythology back in Primary School. I pondered of life just living in ancient Greece, perhaps of an olive farmer. I relished in daydreams, just staring out the window maybe, imagining a countryside, a meadow, a forest, a stream, a mountainside... pure nature, nice and sweet...
But I brushed it off as shallow dreams because what good are you living a hermit life of humility? Are you going to make a contribution to humanity? To your country? To your community? To anyone? Why settle when you could be great, you could induce change for the better? Isn't the thought of simple living lazy? Just a selfish escape from near hopeless humanity?
But is it in anyone's capacity to self-sacrifice so much? Have me and Kwang Ik not established the fact that all of us are pretty darn selfish and sinful? ...
I'm so weary, I know some part of me is willingly taking up jobs, opportunities because I want to prove my worth and maybe have a slim chance at entering politics, and moving Singapore forward. I've always told anyone who'd ask, and I've asked myself before, the purpose of life is a life of purpose. To do something. To not be an insignificant speck on the earth's overpopulation of homo sapiens. To give as much as you can give. Its an ideal. And there's no other rational I can give except that its the right thing to do. And I really don't think I can get further than just Singaporean Politics, I'm just really not that great.
Nowadays, its all about YOU. The individual. The American Dream. Living your life. Do what you enjoy, 等等。。。这样的话，有人会想贡献给社会呢？当然会有。。。那，我为什么要为人着想呢？我不能回答。。。也许，我只希望人类不会忘记我。That I will be remembered in history... heh. Glory I'll never know. I'm obsessed with history and legacies. It might explain my interest in current affairs. I just think everyone's story is worth being heard. Everyone deserves a mark. So in the end, it just boils down to me self-interest in fame and legacy... What foolish notions of altruism I have, are they mere facades? ... Dam. It sucks to realize you're only motivated by self-interest. I wonder if everyone's like that. Is it fair that I was born like that? ...
That might explain my polar opposite of my personality. My reclusiveness for the sake of avoiding shame and criticism of my selfishness, of all my ingrain faults. Isn't it just better if you chuck me into some far away rural farmhouse? So people don't have to be bothered by the spite that is me?
I don't know, if I'm up for the fast and busy life.
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Nothing could be more humble (other than micro-organisms) than this lonely ant. The ant, just lives it life, serving its colony. No retirement plans. No CPF. It just lives, works and dies. Taking pics at MacRitchie Reservoir with Giovanni (A girl by the way, the name fooled ya didn't it?) But this ant did something more than that. It makes a nice potential wallpaper.
Even if it says 'photoshop' on the label, it might be the bare minimum or not at all because I'm trying to take photographs in RAW (Nikon Electronic Format, NEF) now which loses no picture data nor quality and I need post-processing software to convert it to JPEG files. Also: The plug-in for Photoshop doesn't work and I can't read NEF files, only Lightroom can. Any solutions?
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