Float

Float

Thursday 31 March 2011

Extreme confusion

Li Keen is confused.
Li Keen used charm!
It is not very effective!
Li Keen is confused.
He hurt himself in his confusion.

Fuck this. How is it some people naturally have popular and cool characteristics. While others, like me, just like doing uncool stuff or just ain't naturally talented at cool things!

Its not uncool to me that I played Runescape more than during Primary School.

It is not lame that I play Pokemon right now.

It is not loner that I like RJ side canteen more than RI one, and I would go there over following the crowd of classmates who won't even talk to me. (Plus the RI canteen gave me a week long stomach infection!)

It is not stupid that I've chosen not to torrent anymore.

It is not bizarre that I prefer to study in school, and that I actually like class.

It is not crazy to want to be punctual for lectures and tutorials, and walk that much faster.

It is not anti-social to dislike talking rubbish during class and not listening.

It is not nice to purposely make the teacher wait for you, or repeat just for you.

It is mean that you would judge me because I attract a lot of uncool friends to sit with me. I want to talk to everyone, and yet, they are the ones that give me a chance and give me decent due respect. So you may think the guy is nerdy, or that guy is unsociable. But they are deeper and more complex than you could ever understand.

What gets me most down? My fitness. Because I am the epitome of unfit. You can count on me to be last in 2.4, in passing NAPFA (if I even). And from there on, people start to stay away from me, as if they'll start to contract my unfit disease. You know how awful it feels? You know I'm doing my best to get better? Nope. You can't see past looks can you? Fucking pity.

People, you know I'd do my best to be your friend, but you don't treat me with any respect. Are you forcing me to short-change myself to become just like you? Fuck no. I'm fucking not going to conform. I am fucking not giving up my ideals, my mantras. You think I'm stubborn? You think I'm just a sad loner?

So if you won't vote for me, then I guess, I'm just not right for it. But you can be damned right I will continue cheering for Raffles no matter what. It is the decent students in this school that prompted me not to just give up on this school completely, and its history, its legacy. It is Singapore that I truly fight for.

Honestly don't believe I can get into council now. Teammates didn't step up their game, so neither did I. On a whole, not very impressive. Only those who really know me, understand me, they know what I'm really capable of. I'm not being arrogant, but I think I'm pretty worthy for this. But unfortunately, the world is a majority of short-sighted, superficial, arrogant, whatever You Duen might say. Before I got to know him even better, people were telling me stuff about You Duen. But even though he judges a lot, or whatever people were telling me, he judges fairly. I could tell it, because deep down I believed it too. That the world, is really really dark and dank. It stinks. He knew it, he wasn't afraid to give him honest opinion on the people whom quite frankly, I would detest too. The difference is, I hate assumptions, so everyone gets a chance to prove me wrong. Usually they don't see it, but I unconsciously analyze people's actions and character.

Another thing, we're all different. No one is generally wrong. Its just what he believes is different.

And to my dearest friends, I know how you must feel about me right now. Why are you putting yourself down, counting yourself out so quickly. Got to believe in yourself right? Maybe. But the odds. Don't stack in my favour. Looks to me like, its going to be exactly what happened in VS. I didn't become a leader, but I still went for all the school events. I still cheered. Nobody noticed. I didn't care. Only problem is I can't play a deeper role in organising and leading anymore.

And if I do get in... You bet I'll be treating all those whom I know voted me in haha.

How am I supposed to be who I am? When doing so gives you major disadvantages?

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This sort of music. Makes a game like The Witcher, whole.
Oh and BTW. This is my number one game. The Witcher



Another good one I don't often mention, but like very much. (I mean both the song and the game)

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